Tell All Your Friends

I do have a few good friends back home, Bun, my godsisters, my friend B from the surf shop, but I also had a lot of really shitty, awful friends, too. Even Nae says so. They let me be pathetic and got me in to some scandalous situations I would’ve rather not been in, not that it’s all their fault, but they helped. The friends here don’t really talk crap about each other, the relationships are stable, and everyone is just happy to get together and hang out. It doesn’t need to be a thing or out making a scene. There is no drama, well not a whole lot of drama, and I like that. These people seem genuine and true. I never come away from hanging out with them feeling stupid, like I’ve done something wrong, or feeling bad about myself. My “friends” from back home made me feel that way a lot. I know right, how could I even call them friends if that’s how they left me feeling? So here’s a run down of all the great people I’ve met through S:

Croc Dundee: A funny, loud guy. The center of attention. Would do anything for his friends. The first night I met him I jumped in to his freezing cold pool naked on a dare and super drunk. He makes you feel safe in unsafe situations, like he knows what he is doing. He has been dating the Teacher for about two years now and they are about to get married! Croc has also lost a crap load of weight in the last year or so and looks amazing these days.

The Teacher: A really nice girl. She also seems like she would do anything for her friends. Not whom I would have first imagined Croc with, but they just work together and seem to have fun. She gives good teaching advice, is easy to talk to, and is a really funny drunk. I’m jealous that she gets to get married before I do!

The Soccer Player: Can drink you under the table, tells some funny tall tales, was part of the dare to get me naked that first night when S was passed out-to get out of paying me, he jumped in naked, too, is a nice guy and married to the nicest girl I know-the Hairdresser

The Hairdresser: I was afraid of the Hairdresser the first time I met her because the night before meeting her was the night her fiancé (at the time) and I had jumped in the pool naked together, not like touching, but he had drunkenly seen me naked and I saw a tall nakey silhouette of him. The Hairdresser has never spoken a single bad word against any of her friends that I have heard, she is also a really great listener, her favorite phrase is “How funny” and she loves to drink and laugh and have a good time. She is also a really really hard worker and owns her own business, which I think is legit for someone my age.

The Farmer: A really sweet and quiet guy. He adores his wife, Tinkerbell, and Baby, we’ll call him Junior since he and the Farmer have the same name. He is so nice to them and seems like an awesome Dad when you watch him with Junior. He’s really proud of the little guy already. He has the best laugh and the best dance skills once you get him going!

Tinkerbell: She just had Junior not even a year ago and she has the most banging body again. I haven’t had a kid yet and she’s got a body 100x better than mine. She was really intimidating, at first, cause she’s the alpha female of the group-all the guys have known her since they were kids, so I was nervous around her wanting to make a good impression. She is sassy and funny and I love when she laughs at the random things I say. She is also a very funny drunk and she loves to go out dancing and it is funny to see her drunk with her sisters cause they all start dancing.

The Smooth Talker: The Smooth Talker doesn’t hang out very often. He is a very funny guy and really cute, all the girls have little crushes on him. I think it’s because he lives up to his name, he is definitely a smooth talker, he makes you feel good and important and like the only person in the room when you are talking. It is a nice feeling. He is also one funny guy. He was the only one to show up for the impromptu surprise birthday lunch S threw for me last year (awkward for Smooth Talker for sure, but he played it off nicely)! (Great planning on S’s part by the way-he messaged everyone that morning to come to lunch-lots of our friends work on Saturdays, but still a sweet thought) He dates The Runner, who also doesn’t hang often, but is so bitchy and funny, she holds a special place in my heart.

The Runner: Gorgeous, always laughs at herself for being so tall, was on the Australian running team and won a medal (am I wrong?) at the Commonwealth Games the last time they were held, is bitchy, bitingly funny, and gives awesome advice and good perspective on things, she is also like her boyfriend in that she makes you feel special and important when she is talking to you, we’re supposed to start working out together-intimidating! I’ll be huffing and puffing and she’ll be running laps around me!

Bob Marley: Bob Marley is a quiet guy, too, that’s why he and the Farmer get along so well I think. He is nice and I always used to be worried that he didn’t like me hanging out with LC. I like when I can make him laugh, or smirk is more like it, because normally he is so mellow. He is about to be a daddy for the first time and I think is totally stressed over that, but has made some big changes in his life for LC and the little bundle of joy and I think that is nice and responsible of him to do.

LC: My best friend in the group. Originally wanted to get to know me because I was from the OC. She is hilarious and bitchy, I call her the HBIC sometimes (the head bitch in charge). I’m glad that she decided she wanted to be friends. I accidentally cast a spell on her that made her get pregnant on a trip a way, I said jokingly that they would go away and she would get knocked up, then when she got back and before we knew she had someone growing in her, I got her really drunk on margaritas at my Mexican party. I’m an awful friend. I’m sorry LC and I’m glad we are still friends!

Those are the key players, there are other friends who we see with the group sometimes, but most weekends these are the people you can find me and S hanging out with. Next time I talk about them, I’ll have to talk about some of the adventures we’ve been on together.