Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Like Hell We Are Anxiously Waiting

Just got news that I'm going to be interviewed for that position I put in for!  It'll either happen this Friday afternoon or early morning on Tuesday/Wednesday.

It's weird, I feel like if I get the job it'll change the trajectory of my life completely.  I had given up on this job when I didn't get it in July and had resolved myself to the job I'm in and resolved myself to having a job rather than a career.  Just recently, as I mentioned in the last post, we decided we would get a dog, too, and I was looking forward to that as a trial baby/fitness buddy/companion for me for all the time I'm here and MOTH is still at work.

Now, I'm overwhelmed with the possibility that I may still have a shot at a career (are you older readers laughing that at 2 weeks shy of 28 I had resolved myself to being stuck in a job?) that may have upward mobility within this company or at the very least within an industry I really want to be a part of.  I know it will change our lifestyle and not like you'd think...the new career would come with a pay check that is 20-30% lower than the one I get now and I'd be working more hours.  Plus, if we are both in Sydney and MOTH Dude still doesn't want to move to Sydney (which he has valid reasons for-it's expensive and we are trying to save for a wedding and then travel to South Africa) we both will be having crazy long days.  Like most working women, I know that I will feel the burden more as it will be me who is still expected to make dinner and do laundry after having a 12 hour day.

You've heard me mention it before and I think, again, I have what are called WPPs or White Peoples Problems.  I mean I really am in a no lose situation, I get the new job and start that career or I don't,  and thus, make more money in my same job and I get a puppy (perfect consolation prize in my world).

The new career prospect has also started a bit of dialogue between MOTH and I regarding his expectations of me work wise when we have kids.  This is big, scary, grown up stuff that we don't like to delve in to too deeply very often, but it was good to ask him what his thoughts were in regards to having kids-would I go back?  how long after having a baby could I go back?  and on what basis- full time or part time?

He comes from a very traditional family and his Mom stayed home to raise him and his brother before becoming a teacher's aide at the grade school they attended.  I explained to MOTH, as this new role would be entry level, I would want to stick with it for a while and then try and move up the chain.  To do this and keep me competitive in the job market would mean I would want to go back to work after 6 months maternity leave.  He said he didn't expect me to stay at home like his Mom did and although he wasn't comfortable with putting these hypothetical, future children in daycare right away, he hoped he'd be in a position where he could work from home at that point at least a few days a week.

Why then am I so anxious?  I can rationally tell you guys it is a no lose situation, but I'm still a bundle of nerves about it.  I think it's just me though as I've always been distrustful of change, even when it's for the best.  My Mom always has good advice and she always used to tell me nervousness and excitement are the same feeling just thought of in different ways so if you change your perspective, you're really excited.  I think I will listen to my Mom on this one and try and feel excited instead.

I'll update you guys when I know more.