Finding Home

Hello All (or Few),

When I last left off, I was newly married and still buzzing about our wedding and honeymoon.  Nine months on, I'm nearly out of the newlywed phase of our marriage and though the buzz of the wedding has faded a bit, whenever I think about that weekend or see pictures, I can't help but smile because it truly was one of the best times of my life and we were so blessed to have so many people from Australia and the U.S. there to celebrate with us.

I can't believe how quickly the time has flown by!  I feel like a lot has happened and like not a lot has changed...(I feel like anyone reading this probably knows me and so this rundown will be old news so skip ahead if you'd like to)

-At Christmas, we adopted two rescue dogs- Diggie and Kona.  They are a lot of hard work and generally pains in our asses, but I love having them.  They bring a lot of joy to our lives and make our house feel like home and like MOTH and I have started a real, little family.

 Bruno now named Diggie.

Kona's name was Jazzy.  Here she is with the wonderful lady who rescued her.

-MOTH celebrated his 30th in March.  We rented a beach house for the weekend and all of our friends stayed over with us.

-We are both still at our same jobs.  I got a (temporary?) promotion (still waiting on the raise portion of it, though, so essentially doing more work and have more responsibility for same, meagre pay).  In talks with my boss now whether I like the role and want to stay in it or whether I want to go back to more student services involvement.  She is away for three weeks starting today so I am in charge of the office.  My sister called me a dictator and I think Little D the Dictator has a nice ring to it!  The commute is killing me still and a lot of the time on the weekend I feel like I just want to hang at home to recover from the week.  We are thinking that we will move a bit closer to the city at Christmas time when our current lease is up.

-In about 2.5 months we are headed to South Africa to visit my sister and do some travelling with my parents and some of their friends from their neighborhood.  I can not wait to go!  I've been wanting to go back to Africa for 11 years now, ever since I left Kenya after a graduation trip I took there with my family and a bunch of family friends.  We are spending a few nights in Cape Town and are going to see the area where Nae and her boyfriend, PB&J, live, go to the top of Table Mountain and out to Robben Island, and visit the penguins.  We are then going to drive through the wine country to Mossel Bay where we will stay a few nights with PB&J's parents and hopefully shark dive and visit Cango Wildlife Ranch where we will be able to pet cheetahs and tigers (obviously not native) and ride ostriches.  From there we will go to J-Bay, a world famous surf spot, for the night and then head to Port Elizabeth where we will make our way by boat up a river to a private game reserve and we will be on safari for 4 days there.  Following that, we will fly to Jo-burg for a night for a morning flight to Zimbabwe where we hope to do a walk with lions and where we will visit Victoria Falls.  Typing that out, I get even more excited as it sounds like such an incredible adventure and I'm so lucky to be experiencing it soon.  We have no idea what to do with the dogs, though, so that is causing a bit of stress.  MOTH's parents aren't really dog people.  They said they'd take the dogs, but they wouldn't walk them and with us being away for 16 days, I don't think that's right.  His brother can't take them either because his yard does not have a fence.  The place we boarded them at for the weekend of MOTH's birthday is great but is $50 a calendar day per dog so we'd be looking at $1800 for them to stay there (I can do math-we'd have to drop them off the day before we leave and wouldn't get home in time to pick them up before the place closes the day we land in Sydney so they'd be there for 18 calendar days).  We are hoping one of his cousins will come through and want to house sit for us.  We'd pay them a decent amount, but still save considerably from the $1800 for the boarding place.  At the end of the day, though, we will spend that money if need be because they will get fed twice a day, get walked twice a day, and live in a nice area with other dogs to play with.

-Because we have not taken any leave since we got back from the wedding and because I was only allowed to take 2 weeks off for the South Africa trip (against Aussie law, but I won't get in to all that here) we will have a decent amount of leave accrued for next year.  We are hoping to go to Oahu/Kauai/one other island for my 30th at the end of February and beginning of March and then go back to CA to celebrate my Mom's 60th at the end of June/beginning of July.  I can't wait to get back to CA and can't believe that trip is still nearly a year away.

Anyway, that's the general update.  I didn't add it to the list above because it is still in the conceptual phase, but we are moving back to California.  This probably won't be for about two years and there are a million things we need to do and figure out before then (ex. me file my US taxes for the time I've been here, save lots of money, figure out whether to have a baby here or there, etc., etc.) but we are at least starting to think about these things.  I'm not sure that MOTH is ready now nor am I sure that he will ever be ready but he can see how down I am here so he is willing to take the plunge for me.

I've been in Australia just shy of 8.5 years now and I am ready to move home.  And that's the thing, for me, California is home, has always been home, and will always be home.  While I think Australia/NSW is great; I still feel like the odd man out here.  The lifestyle on the Central Coast is very different from the lifestyle I grew up with.  For a while, in my early 20s, I wanted to escape that, to experience something other than living behind the "Orange Curtain", but then my parents moved out of Orange County and up to Santa Cruz and I think I saw some of the best that California has to offer there and when MOTH and I visit them now I think to myself, "Yep, this is it."  I envy people who can make home anywhere they happen to be.  I have tried that, but for me home is where the people I love live.  And yes, I do love MOTH with most of my heart, but the other parts belong to my Mom and Dad and to my sister and to the family friends who felt like actual family growing up and I miss them and I don't like that MOTH feels like he has to make up for their absence.  It's not fair to him, but I don't think it's fair to me either to continue to live in Australia indefinitely.

I will look fondly back on my time in Australia when I get to California, I'm sure.  It might be a "grass is always greener" scenario and I'll miss Australia and want to come back or MOTH might hate living in the States after a bit so we may just end up in Australia still.  But I/we won't know that until we give it a go and move there and give ourselves time to settle in.  I have met some amazing people here and have made some lifelong friendships.  I came here with that goal of creating and maintaining healthy friendships and relationships and I am happy that I have accomplished this.  I also wanted a big adventure and for part of my time here, I feel like I did have one, but now, what was once adventure has become everyday life so I'm ready for the next chapter and for a new adventure to begin.

Until next time, whenever that may be.

Motionless Wheel Nothing is Real Wasting My Time In the Waiting Line

Still waiting to hear back on the job. I got a call from the recruiting company on Friday morning that woke me up asking about the people I had put down as references, making it seem as if he had given them a week and they still hadn't gotten back to him. I explained that Monday was a holiday in the States so maybe people had the week off and I'd email them to see if they had gotten the email from the recruiter. Well, I open up my email and there was an email from one of my references asking what type of role I had applied for so she could use key terms about me suited to the role. She had gotten the email that morning when she got to work and started on it then and there. This guy knows he is emailing people in California, does he not understand how time zones work? E said she emailed the form back to him that night, which he probably got when he came in to the office yesterday and since then I haven't heard anything from him. So I still don't know if I've gotten this job or not. It's been a loooooooong process though! I've started to check the job boards again just in case this one doesn't come through. It's frustrating having it all be up in the air for so long. My bank account is getting painfully low again and I would love to not have to depend on MOTH Dude solely for money. I mean, we share our money and don't keep track or anything, but when one person isn't bringing in ANY money, it's pretty obvious who is doing most of the "sharing".

Friday night I made Thai Yellow Curry with Chicken and we watched "She's Out of Your League". Saturday MOTH Dude got up before me and read out in the yard. I got up and wrapped Lo's birthday present and then we were off to her party. We got there about an hour late, but even still ended up being there from about 12:15 to 8:30! She seemed like she had a great day and it was so cute to watch her smash a whole chunk of cake in to her face. We came home and were exhausted and asleep by about 10:30.

Sunday Moth got up before me again (miracle!) and was out in the yard reading when I woke up. I went on Facebook to check something my Mom had posted when Tinkerbell messaged to see what we were up to later. I had felt bad because the night before she left the party with Junior at around 6 and I said if we were going out later, I'd be the DD and come pick her up and she seemed excited to have her sister-in-law watch Junior and have a night out, but then we all got old and lazy and didn't end up going out so she stayed at home, too. So anyway, she suggested that we go get a drink Sunday afternoon. We ran out and did our grocery shopping and then I came home and baked cupcakes for the Sunday Family BBQ. We then met her, Croc, and the Teacher at a local pub and had a couple of drinks and it was a fun hour and a half sitting around laughing and talking and they had a really good guy singing and playing guitar and time was slipping away from us so we had to get going because Moth's Pop is a stickler for being on time and we were already late.

Tomorrow I've got a hot date with the Runner to go get our hair did by the Hairdresser and to check out her and the Smooth Talker's new house and puppy! The Smooth Talker suckered me in to making him cupcakes and since he and the Runner finally got engaged and it was just his birthday, I figured "why not?" so I'll be baking them fresh in the morning before I see her. Thursday is trivia night with Croc and the Teacher and Croc's parents. Did I mention we won the jackpot last week, but had to split it with another team. Still, we ended up winning $73! Friday night, MOTH is off to Queensland, as I have previously mentioned, for his cousin's wedding and I might have a night out with Tinkerbell, Potential Sis In Law, the Teacher, and the Hairdresser and LC if they are around. Tinkerbell wants to dance. I'm not a dancer, but I'll go to hang out and to be the DD for everyone so they can have a big night if they want to. I've also started a diet this week (basically just trying to eat less, no dessert through the week, and eating as much organic fruits, meats, and veggies as possible) and am working on a 30 before 30 list that I'll share with you guys soon.

That's about all from here, keep those fingers crossed about the job for me!

Valentine

Will you be my valentine if I'm a world away?

So....another curveball. I am still heading back to Australia, I'm just not exactly sure when. Originally I thought I could get a work and travel visa for another year, but I can't. So then I said, "Ok, I'll go over on a tourist visa and get my spouse visa granted while I'm there on the other visa" but today I got back a notice from the Immigration Department stating they needed some more info from me before they'd grant my long stay tourist visa and that oh, p.s. on a 12 month visitors visa like that, they attach a stipulation that says you can't apply for any other visas while you are on that one so I'm back to square one. That means that I will have to apply for the spouse visa from here in the States and then wait for it to be granted before I can go to Australia again. The process can take anywhere from 1-6 months, I think, depending on how long it takes for you to gather all of your documents (like fingerprints that you have to send to the FBI for a criminal history check and that can take 10 weeks to be sent back) and send them in and then have an Immigration Officer assess them. Ugh!

I wish I would've known it was going to be months instead of days before I saw Boyfriend again and then I would've given him a few extra hugs and kisses before he left. We are both upset at the prospect of not seeing each other for awhile. I'm feeling sick to my stomach right now to be honest and really, really bummed. Not the Valentine's Day I was hoping for!

I'm going to try and stay positive. We have a lot of the paperwork already collected and I sent off my finger prints last week, thinking that my Mom or Dad would be sending them on to me in Australia. It is also cheaper, I've heard, to apply outside of Australia for this visa. And while I won't get to be with Boyfriend, I will get to spend more time with my family. I think I will start job hunting again so that I can earn some more money to bring back with me when the time does come.

I'm not so cheesy to say "absence makes the heart grow fonder." There is no positive to being away from Boyfriend for however long it ends up being. There is also no positive in missing out on seeing my favorite band, Brand New, for the second time in Sydney when I have tickets.

Sorry this is a Debbie Downer post. This afternoon I was totally going to post pictures of the cute little Valentine's surprises I made for Nae, the Camp Counselor, and their other good friend, D.C. Hope your Valentine's Day was better than mine!

Cause Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be Alright

Boyfriend respectfully rebuffed the naysayers and once again it is him and me against the world, although we really don't want to do battle with anyone. We say hop on board our happiness train and be happy with us, get on and sit there quietly and let us enjoy ourselves if you aren't on the same page, or get left behind at the station... it's really up to you at this point.

Oh man, all this flowery language and vagueness in the last 2 pots. You're probably thinking who is this chick? What happened to Little D, this isn't how she writes at all? Well, I can assure you that it is still me and I am on a natural high right now and am choosing to focus on the positive things and trying not to let others' negativity bring me down.

Super tired after a big 2 days in San Francisco. I was also bummed to have to drop Boyfriend off at the airport tonight because it meant our time here in California had ended. It flew by! I'm so glad that things fell in to place as they did so we had this opportunity to spend 2 whole months together out here and with my family. I'm going to miss them and all of us hanging out together, but I'm excited to see all my friends back in Australia and also to see what this year has in store for us.

I'll probably get a chance to write again before I leave, but just in case I don't, wish me luck and wish Boyfriend good luck on his flight because it is sprinkling in San Francisco and he's flying back in to some pretty bad thunderstorms in Sydney- not fun!

Teach Your Children Well

...and then trust that you've done a good job so when they are in their 20s you don't second guess every big decision they try and make.

Big , big, big stuff is going down right now and I wish that I could say it was all happy big stuff, but it's not. Boyfriend is going back to Australia tomorrow night and the reality is I might not be following him out on Monday like I thought I was. After an amazing two months together in California I don't think this is how either of us saw the last few days playing out. We are happy and in love, but we've got some naysayers trying to put a damper on the love and happiness. I'm willing to prove the naysayers wrong; I'm just waiting for Boyfriend to figure out whether or not he is. When he lets me know, I'll let you know.

Keep your fingers crossed for me. My stomach is in knots.

You're Just Jealous 'Cause We're Young and in Love

This past weekend most of our group headed down to Terrigal to see two of our friends get married. It was the first church service I had been to in a long time, but it was short and other than it being in a church it didn't feel like a typical church marriage service.

After the vows were said and rings exchanged, we had about 2 hours to kill until the reception so we all headed out for a snack and then to a nice outdoor bar area to wait. The reception was held at the surf club on the beach and it was a beautiful view. Our friends did a great job of setting up the place and these were the favors sitting at everyone's place at the table (sorry for the blurriness, these were all taken with my camera phone):
They are seashells sitting on sand-the seashells are chocolate and the sand is actually a mixture of raw and brown sugar! The centerpiece was a square vase with shells in the bottom and a fighting fish swimming around inside. The food was fantastic and all of our friends actually got to sit at one table together and we had the best time. I even got pulled on to the dance floor (sober) and attempted to dance, but this white girl has no rhythm with no cocktails in her! It was a very fun night and our group scrubs up very nicely when the occasion calls for it. It was also great to see most of the couples out on the dance floor and the way that they looked at each other with such happiness and love while they danced, I know it's totally cornball of me to say but it made me happy to watch and put a smile on my face. I'm going to miss these guys when I'm home for 3 months! Boyfriend and I shared a dance and a laugh at the very end of the night and I told Boyfriend that I would do a first dance with him (which I've never really wanted to do) if we ever got married if it could be as fun and laid back as how we were dancing then (ie. very uncoordinated and fun). Oh, and I forgot to say, LC caught the bouquet! It's the second time she's caught it at friends' weddings so she thinks it's about time that Bob Marley gets her a ring and sets a date!

Here's what I wore to the wedding:
Dress by H&M. I've worn it a few times before and I really like it. I think it cost about $40 and it's super comfy and I wish we had H&M in Australia!
These shoes aren't normally my style but Boyfriend saw them in the shop and really liked them so I tried them on and they weren't too hurty so I got them and was able to wear them all night long, except for the walk back to the car at the end of the night. (We had as much drama finding shoes as I had looking for dresses...You would not believe the price of shoes here- I went in to Payless and found a pair that I kindof liked and they were $80!! $80 at Payless! The other stores had shoes that were ok for like $100 but not a name brand of any type or stores like Target and Big W had tacky-ass looking stuff that was still $50! I think I spent about $60 on these and to me I think they look like $30-$40 shoes, oh well)
I thought this clutch was totally cute. It was the first thing I bought, other than the dress I already had so I based my outfit around the black, white, and silver from the clutch. I also got it for $15, it was half off!
These are the earrings and the necklace I got. I'm going to try and return the necklace because it got super knotted about 5 seconds after putting it on and didn't look cute at all after that, though it did look really cute hanging in the shop! The Teacher had bought the same necklace the weekend before to wear to the Bachelorette party and told me hers did the same thing.

In My Life I Love You More

Boyfriend comes from a huge, huge family. After 4.5 years of dating I am still meeting new cousins at every big family gathering that is held. His Dad is the oldest of 5 children and there are 13 cousins, as well as another 6-7 boyfriends and girlfriends of cousins, and about 6 children of cousins. On his Mom's side there are at least 11 cousins and stepcousins, who knows how many boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses, and like another 6 children of cousins. They are also really close to their extended families on both sides as well....great aunts, second cousins, all that.

I come from a really small family. I had 3 uncles, two who have passed away, and none of them were ever married. Nae and I were the only grandchildren on either side. We didn't have any cousins and we didn't have a lot of contact with our uncles growing up. It would've been nice to have cousins, and I think that's why I think of all the kids in our travel group as my cousins, but I don't really understand the bond that exists between "real" cousins. Anyway, when I first started dating Boyfriend and I had to go to the first couple of family gatherings I was really overwhelmed. Both sides are so loud and happy and friendly and there were just so many names to remember! I'm better now but for along time I would get anxious when I knew we were headed over to Nan and Pop's for a party because big crowds stress me out. Now I'm part of the group and am just as loud and chatty as any of them and feel some sympathy when a new boyfriend or girlfriend is first brought around, remembering how scary it all is!

This weekend was Nan and Pop's 60th wedding anniversary. We headed around to their place on Sunday night for a bbq and it was a really fun night. Once again, I met two new cousins and 3 new cousins' children and they were all really nice. There was good food, singing and dancing along to MJ's Thriller from one of Boyfriend's aunts, a beauty shop was set up by one of the little second cousins and ALL of the boy cousins, as well as her grandpa, great grandpa, great uncles, and great grandma got their hair done by her! Boyfriend's Mom got her hair AND makeup done. My hair was done up in the hottest side ponytail for the night and it was cute to sit and talk to this 9 year old about what was going on in her life. She and her sister were such loving little girls, once they had a quick chat with you they weren't shy about coming back to talk to you some more and they loved to give hugs.

At every big event, Pop likes to give a speech and this occassion was no different. He told about the history of how he and Nan had gotten together and gotten married and a little bit about their early married years. He talked about how much he loved everyone there and how proud he was of his family and about how he loved Nan so much. Their daughter was in the kitchen washing up and listening and was crying the whole time and said after the speech she wished she had someone like her Dad as a husband. Then Boyfriend's Mom and other aunt went to hug her and they started crying. Then Boyfriend's Dad got up, as the oldest child, and said a little speech about how glad all the kids were to have Nan and Pop as their parents and how they were grateful to them for always supporting the kids in everything they did. He got choked up about halfway through then just about everyone was crying with him! It was the sweetest thing. Then someone made a joke about how this was a happy occassion so what was with all the tears and everyone laughed and it went back to normal.

All in all it was a really great night. When we got home and were lying in bed, I said to Boyfriend that I hope someday we'll get a 60th anniversary party like that with all our family surrounding us and he made some joke and I was like, I was trying to be serious. So then he turns over and says to me that he wouldn't mind at all being with me for the next 60 years. I thought that was so sweet, but Boyfriend, being Boyfriend, then had to be cheeky and add that 61 years was probably his limit!

Unity, As One Stand Together

So really, who knew it was going to be this hard to find a job?? Back home I see that others my age are in a similar situation...moving back in with parents and working shitty retail jobs until the economy changes and they can find work in the field they got degrees in. Living in a foreign country and being jobless and slowly running out of money comes with its own challenges. Mainly how do I continue to live in that foreign country without much money and what to do about the boy I've fallen in love with?

Boyfriend and I are your typical first children...we strive to please our parents and avoid doing things that would disappoint them. That is, until now. We are also both fairly traditional people for our age. We had always said through four years of dating that we didn't want to live together before marriage. After discussing it for a few months and my bank account shrinking further and further, we realized that we didn't want our relationship to have to end because I was having trouble finding a job. Why should we be punished personally just because I was suffering financially? Things between us have been going well and we don't want it to end until we've exhausted all of our possibilities.

Boyfriend struggled and stressed trying to work up the courage to tell his parents that he was moving out and in with me. He put it off until the very last minute, the day I had to tell my real estate agents if I'd be moving out. He did it and it didn't go over very well. His Dad said he didn't and wouldn't accept it and he said his Mom didn't say much. It was horrible for Boyfriend and he was really upset. I felt really bad for him, but also was thankful that he had gone through with it and obviously really wanted me to stay.

I told Nae before I told my parents. I wanted to wait to tell them until after Boyfriend had told his parents, just to make sure it was really, really happening. Well Nae didn't know this and was telling our godsisters about it and my Mom overheard. Nae says her reaction was "What??!!" Followed by "She's a big girl. She can make her own decisions/mistakes" When I spoke to her on the phone, she said it isn't what she and my Dad want for us, but Boyfriend and I are both adults and it is our decision to make.

Other than that conversation my parents have been fairly quiet on the issue. Last night we went to Boyfriend's parent's house and I felt like I had been ambushed. We were having a quick dinner there and then all headed out to see a family friend perform in a play. Once again, our situation was brought up and we were told how much they didn't like it and that if she was my Mom she'd want me home and I'm just not finding a job. Boyfriend stood up for us again. When she left the room, I was quietly crying. Then she popped back in to the room to announce to us that even though she had asked us whether or not we planned to get married, to not get excited about that either, because she didn't think we were ready and basically it wasn't her condoning that idea either! Then she left again and I broke down crying. I asked Boyfriend if we could just go home and he said he wished we could, he wished we hadn't gone over there at all, and that he really didn't want to disappoint the family friend by not being there (especially as our seats were in the front row) so he gave me a kiss and told me how sorry he was and I wiped off my face and put on a neutral face for the rest of the night.

There had been discussion last night, as well, about how Boyfriend was going to get to the train station each morning. They don't want him leaving the pick-up truck at the station and I don't have insurance so I can't drive it to drop him off and pick him up. They said they'd be picking it up this (Sunday) afternoon. Boyfriend does have his own car, but it's a classic car from the 1960s, and sad to say it but the area is so ghetto that he's afraid it'll get vandalized if he leaves it there while he is at work. So it's 9:30 Sunday morning here and I'm waiting til about 11am to try and call Croc and some of our other friends to see if they have any old bombs that we could rent from them each week for now just to be driven to the station and back each morning. Boyfriend is even talking about riding his bike to the station in the morning (no idea how many miles that even is and considering it's winter, it would not be a fun ride at 6am).

We get it, they don't like the situation, they're going to make it hard on us, hoping that we will give up and Boyfriend will come home. I really hated that I had to be a part of the reason that Boyfriend's parents were disappointed with him. Boyfriend is still really bummed about the whole thing but strong in his conviction that he wants me here and wants to be with me. I told him to look on the bright side of all this; that I guess it meant his parents really love him and can't bear the thought of him not living with them anymore.

My parents said to me before I left, about being out of school and really being on my own for the first time, that this point in your life is supposed to be uncomfortable and a struggle. They weren't saying it in a mean way, just that this is the time when you really find out who you are and figure out how to make your life work for you. Boyfriend and I are in the struggle right now for sure. We've got each other's back. I hope that we make it out the other side of the struggle and will be devastated if we don't.

Kind words, thoughts, and prayers are much appreciated right now.

California

When I first came out to Australia, it was supposed to be a four month deal and Boyfriend and I were just going to keep things light because we knew I would be leaving after only a very short while. Obviously, we fell pretty hard for each other in that short amount of time and I ended up staying but I came across this song today by the Kooks (I just started listening to them yesterday and I'm already downloading everything of theirs I can find because they are that good) called California and it is totally the song that could've described our relationship when we first got together.

Check it out:

http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/California/456084

Don't you know baby I'm a leading man
I dig down deep when I say I love you
Well I can hold my own with the best of them
I guarantee you, you never seen nothin'
Nothin' like this again

California, say that you love me
From all the darkness I couldn't break through
Now, I miss the ocean when I go to sleep
Oh man, it's gonna break my heart

Don't you know that I did the things I did
I rubbed your back when you were sleeping
But all along baby it was understood
That you were leaving, absolutely
The very first day we met

California say that you miss me
From all the darkness I couldn't break through
I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you

I'm gonna miss ya
I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss ya
I'm gonna miss you

I'll Explain Later

I.O.U. One Galaxy

stars are out tonight
and you're the brightest one shining in my sky.
it's like every wish I ever made came true.
the day I woke up lying next to you.

will you be my best friend
if I offer you my heart?
'cause it's already yours.
we could hang out every night
and watch the sun go down.
as long as we could watch it rise again.

gave me a valentine.
it's these little things that stand the test of time.
I've saved the tickets from the shows that we've been to.
and a thousand other memories of you.

will you be my best friend
if I offer you my heart?
'cause it's already yours.

gave you this i.o.u. today.
it said good for one galaxy.
once I build my rocket to the stars.
we'll fly away just you and me.

You still owe me

All You Need is Love

I’ve mentioned the Red Head earlier, but I’ll talk about him some more since he is one of S’s good friends from school up at Newcastle. The Red Head is a nice guy, but I had a real problem with him at first. A) He was always around when S and I were first dating, like he would just show up sometimes at my dorm when S was there. I finally had to tell S I had signed up to date him, not him and the Red Head and B) The Red Head lived with this other guy, Scrawny Body Builder, and SBB was kindof a jerk, but that was just his personality and you could laugh when he called you a slut or made fun of you cause he was just dumb and could get away with it. The Red Head tried to copy SBB’s moves and would call me slut all the time, even to Nae the first and only time he met her, and bitch and all this other stuff. I hated it and it didn’t make it fun to be around him. S just laughed it off cause he knew Red Head was just trying to copy SBB’s moves and wasn’t serious. Finally I told S it was unacceptable behavior on Red Head’s part and unacceptable that he would allow anyone to call his girlfriend a slut or a bitch and S could see where I was coming from. So S had a chat to the Red Head and he hasn’t called me slut or bitch since then and I’ve liked him a lot more because he really is a nice guy who just wants to be liked. Red Head also stopped hanging around us as much so S and I had time to get to know each other one on one.

Like I said, the Red Head is a nice guy, but he has no luck with the ladies. At first he was in love with Bun, thinking it would be perfect- the two guy best friends dating the two girl best friends, but Bun really liked SBB’s best friend, Gangles, and she started dating him and it made it even more awkward for the Red Head when Gangles moved in with him and SBB and Bun was over all the time. He also has a tendency to fall in lust with girls who have boyfriends.
I had him over to my place while I was on Internship and I had invited a girl that was on Internship at the same school over for dinner that night, as well. They were chatty and seemed to get along and the next weekend they went out on a date. She ended up not being interested, but only because, even though he was interested in her, he made the date seem buddy-buddy. Like he didn’t pick her up from her house, didn’t try to hold her hand at the movies, he Did buy her dinner at least, but then at the end of the date he didn’t try and kiss her or anything, I don’t think he hugged her either, there was just no physical contact, except for when he jokingly pushed her. At our age, pushing someone as a flirting move does not register well.

Just last weekend he went out on a date with another friend’s friend, whom he had met a few times before. He said the dinner went well, it last 3 hours, he kissed her or she kissed him on the cheek at the end of the night, and she texted him afterwards to say she had had a fun time. He then gives her a follow up call to set up another date and she said she wasn’t interested. What had changed? It seems pretty sketchy and random to me. What kind of girl bothers to text that she had a good time if she wasn’t in to the guy and picks up his call when he calls next, that’s what the ignore button on cellphones was invented for!

So here’s my open invitation to any single girls in Sydney, the Central Coast, the Hunter Valley, and Newcastle. If you want a guy who drives a nice car, who doesn’t live with Mom and Dad, who has a decent and steady job, and who will treat you like a motherfucking princess, then please contact me so I can set you up with the Red Head. No offense if he’s reading this, but he’s not Brad Pitt, and no one is, other than Brad Pitt. He is a reasonably attractive guy; he’s not overweight, he dresses well, he has met my friend Mr. Deodorant and all that. He is just a normal guy. So ladies, let’s make this happen!

Nae is single and out of school and now that I’m out of school I often wonder, if S and I weren’t dating, where would I find someone? Nae, Red Head and I aren’t the club scene kind of people and I just think about how difficult it would be to find someone now that I’m not in the mix with 1000s of other people my age everyday at school. Luckily, Nae is happy being single for now and has little crushes on people at work and stuff and the Red Head has me to sell his goods on here.

A Long December

After my parents left, S and I just continued to get closer. Bun was in love for the first time, too. She was really missing her family though and couldn’t wait to get home. She started getting depressed and though she didn’t want to leave Gangles, she also, couldn’t see herself living in Australia for any longer. She stopped going to classes and I very rarely saw her. I think Gangles was the only one who saw her frequently as she moved in with him basically so not even her roommates saw her anymore.
S told me he loved me after we had been dating about 6 months. It happened at the end of a long night out on the town for Gangles’ 21st birthday. I was in love with S at this point, too, and so excited that he had said it.
I asked S to come to California at Christmas time. He was excited as he is a big movie buff and wanted to see all the things they show in movies for real.
I left in November and went back home to work at the surf shop I had worked at for a few years before moving. I missed S like crazy, but also enjoyed seeing some old friends and coworkers. S got in like 2 days before Christmas. I was working so Mom and Nae picked him up at LAX for me, but there was a problem. First, S didn’t have our address and you need one for the Customs forms so they can track you down if they need to while you are in the U.S. Secondly, Nae and Mom couldn’t find him so it took a couple hours to track him down in the right terminal! Off to a great start! I was so excited at work all day, but my manager wouldn’t let me go home early as it was a very busy time of year obviously. I rushed home afterwards and they weren’t home. I paced until they got there. Then he was there and I didn’t know how to act. I was so awkward. I stepped on his foot when he came in to give me a hug and a kiss. We had an amazing time together. It was S’s first Christmas ever, as his religion doesn’t celebrate Christmas, and he ripped through his presents so fast and so excitedly! We went to the San Diego Zoo with my Mom and Nae (Dad was working), we hit up Disneyland and Knott’s Berry Farm, saw all the people from the travel group S had met while they were in Sydney, we drove up to Yosemite just the two of us for a few nights and it was beautiful with snow on the ground and S was just amazed by the place. We then went to Santa Cruz to visit Nae and S fell in love with the area. He loved the coast line and the sea lions and Pizza My Heart and Saturn Café. He loved staying at the Hilton in a suite with my Mom and the free breakfast that came with it.
Once again, my parents proved their awesomeness when I told them I wanted to do my whole degree in Australia and they agreed to pay for it all. I even got to go on a business trip with my Mom to Singapore for a week before continuing on to Sydney.