Riverside, Mother F....

Where I grew up, just about the worst place in the world a person could say they were from was Riverside. The only thing as bad as being from Riverside, was being from Fallbrook, and that was just San Diego's version of Riverside.

Riverside was everything us kids from near the coast thought was wrong with the world (Have you seen the SNL skits where Gov. David Patterson always talks about "New Jersey!"? It's like that): they drove lifted trucks with big, shiny rims. They went to "The River" (aka Lake Havasu) on Spring Break to get drunk. Their chicks wore thong bikinis and had long, fake nails. They hung out in the desert and dirt biked. My friends and I were more about driving whatever our parents let us, going to our local beach for Spring Break, wearing bathing suits that were at least semi-functional while we surfed, and getting a manicure or pedicure a few times a year for school dances.

Typical person you'd see walking around Riverside or Fallbrook

We hated when people from Riverside (aka the 909) decided to come to the beach. You could always tell who they were because they had a Famous Stars and Straps hat on sideways or Famous boardshorts and sometimes they wore socks and sandals. They'd also bring a surfboard or bodyboard that someone in their extended, redneck family had and try and go for a surf. I'm not in to localism or anything (surfer mentality of- this is my home break, no one else can catch a wave here unless I know them and say they can), but I am all for respecting the rules of surfing, such as not snaking (stealing) a wave from someone who is already on it. Not being a part of the culture, most of these guys didn't seem to get the rules so we mostly had this mentality (though we didn't vocalize it-well, at least not to them):

So, how come I'm talking about a group of lame people from an area I haven't lived in for 6 years (as of today, it's my moving to Australia anniversary and also the anniversary of MOTH Dude and I meeting! This time 6 years ago I was pounding shots with Bun, hoping to get up the nerve to meet him! eeeeeee!)? Well, see, this is how my train of thought has gone...Today, I had to listen to a recording of one of my calls in the call centre with my manager and we talked about what a direct person I am and that I have a certain way with words (and then she suggested, really nicely, I promise, no sarcasm) that maybe this wasn't the right line of work for me (anyway, a story for another day perhaps? and are all of these asides in parenthesis starting to make you mad? sorry!). So then I got to thinking about a certain incident that went down at one of my sister's water polo tournaments during a game against none other than the University of Riverside. So then I got to thinking about Riverside, in general, and thus, this rambling post.

So the incident at the Water Polo Tournament...

I'm sitting in the stands with my Mom at one of my sister's many tournaments; I often went to Nae's games throughout high school and then as often as I could when she became a Banana Slug for UC Santa Cruz. The game between UCSC and UCR is on in the water and the Riverside girls are playing really, really roughly. They're winning, but they are playing really dirty and you can see the Santa Cruz girls getting dunked and punched and overpowered by these beasts from (have I mentioned this yet?) Riverside. There are people behind me who are UCR supporters and they are starting to talk crap about UCSC and I'm listening and listening and listening and finally I turn to my Mom and say as loudly as possible, without actually yelling it at her, that, "At least the one thing the UCSC team has going for them is that they don't have to live in a hole of a place like Riverside. Isn't it awesome that we don't have to visit Nae in a place as crappy as Riverside? God, Riverside is shit!" And my Mom is looking at me at first like, "Why are you saying this to me right now?" and then as the Riverside supporters start commenting back she gives me the death stare that says, "Please kid, shut your mouth before we get rolled by this riff raff from Riverside" (well maybe it was more just the "Please, shut your mouth" part. My memory is a little fuzzy,but I'm sure my Mom hates Riverside, too. Right, Mom?). I ended up getting the UCR supporters so riled up that my Mom made us get up and walk to the other side of the pool during the game so that the war of words would not turn in to a full on brawl. In the end, I think UCSC ended up getting their asses handed to them by UCR but I know Nae appreciated that I had stuck up for her and the girls and that I had put those Riverside people back in their places.

And I'm assuming after reading this, you'll all hate me (unless you're from Orange County) and think of me as the entitled and spoiled brat from the OC and I guess, in a way, you'd be right. But let's bring this back full circle and I'll finish by saying that part of the reason for staying in Australia 6 years rather than the 4 months I had planned to, other than MOTH Dude, is that coming here was a reality check. I have friends here now that dirt bike and think lifted trucks are rad (though none of their chicks wear thong bikinis, thank God) and would have fun at "The River" and that doesn't make them bad or wrong or whitetrash. They're just different. So I went away a little princess from the OC and I think I've hopefully matured in to a (not so) young lady who is more accepting of others.

Oh man, did I take that full circle stuff too far? Are you throwing up in your mouth a little bit after those last few cheesy sentiments? Well, I'll just leave you with this then: I still think, 6 years on, "Thank God I don't live in a hell hole like Riverside!"

You Can Have the Best of Me

I got up with Boyfriend at 5:15 this morning...man, I had forgotten how early 5:15 is! Only a couple of weeks ago I was getting up on my own at that time while I was adjusting to being back in the time zone, but this morning it was a definite struggle and man, oh man, was it cold! I took a train and then a bus out to my old university and had over an hour to kill so I did some wandering around. I also went to check in at the graduation office to ask them how I go about getting my diploma (a year late, but minor details). Apparently it had been mailed over last May to my parents' new address, but we never received it so they are looking in to it for me.

Soon enough it was time to head to the HR Department and do the interview. It was held on the Aussie 1st floor (but what I would call the 2nd floor) and it was sweltering in the waiting room. I thought maybe it was just me, sweating bullets, nervous about the task at hand, but then I overheard a few ladies walking by commenting on the heat, as well, and felt better. Luckily, when the main interviewer came to get me she assured me the interview room was much cooler and it was, though when I stood up after the interview I was sweaty behind my knees from being nervous!

I think the interview went fairly well. All three of the interviewers were really nice and gave reassuring smiles and head nods as I spoke so that made me feel more comfortable, too. I don't know if all of my answers dazzled them, but I did my best and answered truthfully and tried to dazzle them with my personality because I figure in a customer support role like that, that will be a deciding factor. As you always do after an interview, I analyzed every thing I had said and realized there were a few things I had wished I had added, but hadn't so when I sent my thank you email to them this afternoon I added those two clarifications. I've never sent a thank you note after an interview, but I have read a lot recently about what a good idea they are. If nothing else, if they hadn't seen my enthusiasm in the interview, they could see it in my follow through. They ended the meeting by saying they had a bunch of candidates to interview today (yikes!) and that tomorrow they would check our references and that I could expect to hear back later in the week or more likely, early next week. I'll be anxiously waiting it out and trying to think positively until I know. This job would do a lot to help me finally, finally feel settled here- I've got the family unit, I've got a little house we're settled in to, now all I need is a job like every other person my age has and I'll feel normal. Keep those fingers and toes crossed for me!

After I left Newcastle, L.C. and Lo came and picked me up from the train station since I can't get a car until I have a job (and getting a job would be easier I think if I had a car to easily get me wherever I needed to go, but oh well, that's how it goes I guess) and we went out to lunch at our local club. Getting to catch up with L.C. over good food and seeing little Lo's cheeky, smiling face was the perfect way to destress after the interview so thanks girls! And I seriously don't know how Boyfriend functions-getting up at 5am, not getting home til after 8pm- because after I got dropped off, I checked emails, sent the thank you email and then was out cold for about 2 hours! Haha, I'm in for a rude awakening when I get a job and can't sleep off my early mornings in the middle of the day anymore!

I'm Writing Again, These Letters to You Aren't Much I Know

Hey Guys, just a quick update. I now have an email address for the blog that you can contact me on with any questions, comments, opinions, rants, raves, or whatever you might have: lilDdownunderATgmailDOTcom (Boyfriend says I need to write it that way, so spammers trolling sites looking for the @ symbol don't find my address and start flooding my inbox with spam). I finally realized I should get one after a lovely reader named Liz sent me a comment today asking for some advice on a potential move to Australia and I had to email her back with an email from an old account with a name, if not explained, sounds emo and dumb, but actually has to do with bodyboarding. Anyway, so as to never have to feel dumb and explain that email name again, I created the lilD one. Depending on Liz's questions and her permission to use them, I might post up a question and answer thing on here about moving to Australia since I know a lot of my readers find me through the expat blog network and might be having her same thoughts/questions about moving to Australia. Hope everyone has a great weekend and as always, feel free to leave me comments on here or send me an email about things you'd like to see me write about (whether it be boys, travel, things to do when you are unemployed, or whatever) or just questions you'd like me to answer for you directly!
xoxo Lil D (haha, P.S. We just got Gossip Girl here two weeks ago and Boyfriend called me gossip girl today as I spent all morning reading celeb goss so it was funny when I just realized that I ended the blog the way they end the Gossip Girl episode each week! I'm a dork, I know!)

California

When I first came out to Australia, it was supposed to be a four month deal and Boyfriend and I were just going to keep things light because we knew I would be leaving after only a very short while. Obviously, we fell pretty hard for each other in that short amount of time and I ended up staying but I came across this song today by the Kooks (I just started listening to them yesterday and I'm already downloading everything of theirs I can find because they are that good) called California and it is totally the song that could've described our relationship when we first got together.

Check it out:

http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/California/456084

Don't you know baby I'm a leading man
I dig down deep when I say I love you
Well I can hold my own with the best of them
I guarantee you, you never seen nothin'
Nothin' like this again

California, say that you love me
From all the darkness I couldn't break through
Now, I miss the ocean when I go to sleep
Oh man, it's gonna break my heart

Don't you know that I did the things I did
I rubbed your back when you were sleeping
But all along baby it was understood
That you were leaving, absolutely
The very first day we met

California say that you miss me
From all the darkness I couldn't break through
I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you

I'm gonna miss ya
I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss ya
I'm gonna miss you

Forgive and Forget

I had a really good friend, Candy, in high school. She was a cool chick, always down for a good time or for going to a show and was fiercely loyal to her friends. We were friends up until I left for Australia and I was really going to miss her and hoped that she’d come out to visit me and Bun.

A few months before I left she started hanging out with this guy who was friends with people I knew from the surf shop. I didn’t know him at all, we talked online sometimes, just about Candy and our mutual friends. He’s in some band that has had their songs play on MTV and stuff but this was before they really started touring or doing shows. I didn’t message him to start with, he messaged me I’m pretty sure. The only time I met him was at mine and Bun’s going away dinner when Candy brought him as her date. He seemed nice and cool and I continued to talk to him online, but I didn’t have a crush on him or consider him a good friend or have any kind of ulterior motives for our acquaintance.

Candy ended up telling me something that I felt she should tell this guy. She didn’t think so, but from what he had told me about the two of them, I thought he should know. Now, looking back, even 5 minutes after I did it I thought it- I should’ve given her the chance to tell him or given her an ultimatum like if she didn’t tell him, I would, but I didn’t. To this day she thinks I was in the wrong for saying anything at all to him, but I still feel like I should’ve, just in a different way or talked her in to doing it herself since it was really her business.

I know that is all really vague and it makes me sound like an awful friend. If I said what the issue was, maybe more people would agree with what I had done, but I don’t want to say because I wouldn’t want to hurt Candy all over again about it. The bottom line is just this thing happened between us and it changed everything.

She called me to tell me she knew I had told the guy the thing and was pissed. I apologized and I meant it and I thought that that was that but, we stopped talking after that. I didn’t go home for that first year. I don’t think I tried to see her that Christmas, but I did try and see her that next summer when I was home. She agreed to meet then backed out at the last minute. We didn’t talk for another year and a half and then we started messaging back and forth on AIM and it seemed like maybe we had gotten over stuff.

After I got back from Hawaii, she suggested I come over and see her new place and have a hang out. I went and it was just awkward. I felt like she didn’t really want me there, even though SHE had been the one to call me. When her roommate came home, she pretty much ignored me to talk to this girl she saw everyday. I didn’t like her roommate and her roommate didn’t like me. I was saying something about the flight to Sydney being 14 hours or something and the roommate was like “How can that be when it takes like 10 to get to Hawaii from here.” I said, “No, it doesn’t, it takes like 6 to get to Hawaii.” She gave me this look like “Right, I don’t believe you, what do you know?” And I said, “Look, I just got back from Hawaii like 2 days ago, I know how long the flight is.” She then gave Candy this look like “Back me up (even though I’ve never been to Hawaii and neither have you and this girl has) it takes 10 hours to get there.” And Candy just said, “I don’t know.”

After the roommate went in to her room our conversation started flowing and it was turning out to be a fun night. Then the incident that changed everything came up. She told me how she had told, or had in as many words told, a bunch of people that were mutual friends that she hated me. It really shocked me, I knew she was mad, but I didn’t know she HATED me. I felt awful. I started crying because no one has ever said they’ve hated me before. I left shortly thereafter and it was kindof an uncomfortable goodbye, we said we’d meet up again before I left but I really didn’t want to and I ended up not seeing her again.

I didn’t hear from her again for 6 months. Then she messaged me to say she was moving to Australia. We had talked about this when I was at her house and I had advised her that moving to Australia can be very lonely and it’s not at all what you would expect. I knew her, or at least what she had been like for 5 years, and I knew she needed a big support group around her, like friends and her family, and here you are removed from all that. I suggested she move to a new city first to give living away from everyone a try. I also found it weird that she had “randomly” decided to move to Australia out of everywhere in the world. I don’t know if she wanted to prove it to me and Bun and everyone else that knew we had moved here that she was tough enough to do it too or what. Out of the blue I got a message from her on MySpace saying she was moving to Australia, but don’t worry “not my part of Australia”-Sydney, which if I have a “part” of Australia, I’d consider Sydney as within its range. Anyway, she asked if I had any advice for her.

I didn’t write her back. She suggested in the email that we should let the past be the past and I agreed, just not the in the way she thought. I just figured my life was here and in Santa Cruz now, not in Orange County so I’d let our friendship be in the past, too. I don’t think we would’ve hung out together heaps if I had written back, but I just didn’t want to be involved. My not replying wasn’t malicious; I just thought it was what was the best thing for me. Sometimes I ask Bun how she’s doing here and I hear she’s pretty miserable (probably off and on as living in a different country is always a roller coaster), I don’t think she’ll be making a permanent move out here, but I guess now she can tell everyone she’s done it?

It Begins

In high school I was a pretty avid bodyboarder. Now, I’m not saying I was a good bodyboarder but I enjoyed it and went whenever I could and enjoyed the perks of being on my high school’s surf team (hanging out with the coolest boys in school, getting to travel for cheap, etc). I was acquaintances with lots of people at school and had a core group of friends, but I spent lots of time at home, too. My high school days were like the golden days of AOL, being online was still new and exciting to a degree. I was still amused by chat rooms (which, sidenote-do chat rooms still exist?) and I liked looking for member profiles of boys who were my age and also bodyboarded to chat to. One night as I was on looking at profiles, one popped up from a guy who was about a year older than me, who bodyboarded and lived in Australia. Nothing seemed more exotic at the time. So I IM’ed him. It was a friendly chat about surfing, wave conditions, and what life was like in Australia. Little did I know that that chat would set me on the course to my life that landed me in Australia today. S and I started talking a lot. We had so much in common and we didn’t ever run out of things to say. We talked for months online and then I got a boyfriend, but we still continued to talk, I’m sure even about the boyfriend, because while we might have liked each other online, S and I were still living real lives, as well. Over that year S sent me a few letters and we started talking a lot again when my boyfriend and I broke up. He even sent me this awesome letter that I still have and all these burned CDs of Australian bands he thought I’d like (though I didn’t listen to them because they had awful names…..Grinspoon anyone? Haha) before I went on a safari to Kenya. I even brought his letter with me to Africa and read it at night when I was bored. I also sent him postcards and picked him up a bracelet and an arrow from real Masai warriors on the trip. I had just lost a very good childhood friend to suicide and I was pretty mixed up at the time but S was so nice and seemed so perfect. I remember writing in my journal that I wished he and I lived closer so we could meet and see if we got along as well in person. After that, I got back together with my loser exboyfriend and S was cool enough to play along when he’d call as someone I met through one of the boy’s on the surf team, rather than a random internet friend so my loser exbf wouldn’t get mad. Childish games right, but whatever, I was 18. S and I lost contact for about a year there, but I still thought of him at times. Loser exbf and I fought all the time and eventually broke up (well like 4 times, back and forth, I was messed up at the time and thought I was in love for the first time, ok?) and although I had never wanted to go away to college or leave, what I thought was, my perfect life in Orange County, I decided I needed to move away for a change of pace. I was originally planning on doing a study abroad thing in London so I could experience a real winter and stuff, but then I remembered that I kindof knew someone in Australia and maybe he could help find a school to go to, plus the weather would be more what I was used to, plus our dollar was worth more down there, and plus it was freaking Australia. I searched through my room looking for S’s phone number or email address. I called his house and his Dad picked up and it was pretty awkward asking if S was home, he wasn’t. He spent most of his week at his friend’s place since it was closer to the university. So I left a message and a phone number and wasn’t sure if I’d hear back from S/the message would make it to him. I remember going in to see my Mom that night, as she always read in bed before going to sleep while my Dad watched TV, and telling her that I had contacted someone I knew from online about schools in Australia. She was excited, my parents are awesome and supported my decision to study abroad. I think it was the next night that S contacted me and we got the ball rolling….
More to come tomorrow!