Now You're Just Somebody That I Used to Know

* I started this post before Christmas and never got around to finishing it until now so sorry if it seems out of the blue. I'm not in the thick of these feelings now, although there is a bit of lingering hurt, I just hated having it sit there incomplete.*

I read this quote in a magazine recently that really resonated with me. In fact, I tore it out of the magazine and now keep it on my car's dashboard as a reminder (or at least I thought I had, I just looked for it to use it here and it looks like it's become a victim of one of MOTH's car clean outs).  Basically its message was that just because you used to be friends, doesn't mean you have to continue to be friends simply because you have known each other a long time.  You should only continue to be friends with people who make a positive contribution to your life.

As I've gotten older, I've stopped being a friend collector.  At this point I feel like a person is either a good friend or they're not. Generally, I don't burn any bridges, I just let people fade into acquaintance (or less) status and I give people lots of chances.  We're all human, we all mess up sometimes and hurt the people we care about; me included, me especially sometimes it feels like.  But at some point, I do reach a breaking point and say "Enough is enough.  You've hurt me or let me down for the last time."

See, until I moved here, I didn't really know what it was like to have good girl friends. Girls who have your back 100%, girls who don't flake out on you, girls who don't gossip (at least not a lot or in a malicious way, because come on, when you are close to someone, you're bound to get on each others' nerves every once in a while and say something in frustration or the heat of the moment). I'm lucky to have found that in the girls I call friends here.  My life is pretty drama free these days, but if I were to need something, I've got a bunch of girls in my corner I know I could call for help.

From the time she was a young teenager, my sister was fortunate enough to always make really deep and awesome friendships with girls. As her life has changed, she doesn't keep in contact with all of those good friends anymore, but while they were in her life they were in her life and ready to go to bat for her and show up for her whenever she needed them. Her girls were her family when we weren't around. I was always jealous of that. Now, I have that on some level with my friends here, too.

My sister is ballsier than I will ever be in a lot of ways.  She, for example, called out someone who was being a fair weather friend.  The person made a request for her and backed it with a "do this for me because we are friends" plea and Nae flat out said to her, "No, we are not.  A friend has your back no matter what.  A friend shows up.  You are only my friend when it's convenient for you.  You are an acquaintance."  Ouch! Surely that must have stung the person a bit, but you know what?  Sometimes being a good friend is calling people on their shit.

Oh man, how I wish I could say that to a few people!  I think half of me would feel so empowered but maybe the other half of me would feel really crappy?  While saying that to her former friend/current acquaintance may have forced some re-evaluation on the acquaintance's part to try and work back towards a friendship, the people I want to say it to, it just wouldn't make a difference to.

And so I do things my way- I bite my tongue, I let myself be hurt and mourn the loss of what were once important friendships, I let my contact with that person fade, and I focus on all the people I DO have in my life that build me up.

Just because we aren't friends now, doesn't mean you weren't an important person in my life at some point.  And just because you've hurt me, doesn't mean I won't still look back fondly on a lot of the memories we made together.  While we aren't friends any more, I certainly don't want to be enemies either and I think biting my tongue and not expressing my hurt and avoiding potentially saying something that I can't take back is the best way to leave it, even if it doesn't bring any closure to things.

Riverside, Mother F....

Where I grew up, just about the worst place in the world a person could say they were from was Riverside. The only thing as bad as being from Riverside, was being from Fallbrook, and that was just San Diego's version of Riverside.

Riverside was everything us kids from near the coast thought was wrong with the world (Have you seen the SNL skits where Gov. David Patterson always talks about "New Jersey!"? It's like that): they drove lifted trucks with big, shiny rims. They went to "The River" (aka Lake Havasu) on Spring Break to get drunk. Their chicks wore thong bikinis and had long, fake nails. They hung out in the desert and dirt biked. My friends and I were more about driving whatever our parents let us, going to our local beach for Spring Break, wearing bathing suits that were at least semi-functional while we surfed, and getting a manicure or pedicure a few times a year for school dances.

Typical person you'd see walking around Riverside or Fallbrook

We hated when people from Riverside (aka the 909) decided to come to the beach. You could always tell who they were because they had a Famous Stars and Straps hat on sideways or Famous boardshorts and sometimes they wore socks and sandals. They'd also bring a surfboard or bodyboard that someone in their extended, redneck family had and try and go for a surf. I'm not in to localism or anything (surfer mentality of- this is my home break, no one else can catch a wave here unless I know them and say they can), but I am all for respecting the rules of surfing, such as not snaking (stealing) a wave from someone who is already on it. Not being a part of the culture, most of these guys didn't seem to get the rules so we mostly had this mentality (though we didn't vocalize it-well, at least not to them):

So, how come I'm talking about a group of lame people from an area I haven't lived in for 6 years (as of today, it's my moving to Australia anniversary and also the anniversary of MOTH Dude and I meeting! This time 6 years ago I was pounding shots with Bun, hoping to get up the nerve to meet him! eeeeeee!)? Well, see, this is how my train of thought has gone...Today, I had to listen to a recording of one of my calls in the call centre with my manager and we talked about what a direct person I am and that I have a certain way with words (and then she suggested, really nicely, I promise, no sarcasm) that maybe this wasn't the right line of work for me (anyway, a story for another day perhaps? and are all of these asides in parenthesis starting to make you mad? sorry!). So then I got to thinking about a certain incident that went down at one of my sister's water polo tournaments during a game against none other than the University of Riverside. So then I got to thinking about Riverside, in general, and thus, this rambling post.

So the incident at the Water Polo Tournament...

I'm sitting in the stands with my Mom at one of my sister's many tournaments; I often went to Nae's games throughout high school and then as often as I could when she became a Banana Slug for UC Santa Cruz. The game between UCSC and UCR is on in the water and the Riverside girls are playing really, really roughly. They're winning, but they are playing really dirty and you can see the Santa Cruz girls getting dunked and punched and overpowered by these beasts from (have I mentioned this yet?) Riverside. There are people behind me who are UCR supporters and they are starting to talk crap about UCSC and I'm listening and listening and listening and finally I turn to my Mom and say as loudly as possible, without actually yelling it at her, that, "At least the one thing the UCSC team has going for them is that they don't have to live in a hole of a place like Riverside. Isn't it awesome that we don't have to visit Nae in a place as crappy as Riverside? God, Riverside is shit!" And my Mom is looking at me at first like, "Why are you saying this to me right now?" and then as the Riverside supporters start commenting back she gives me the death stare that says, "Please kid, shut your mouth before we get rolled by this riff raff from Riverside" (well maybe it was more just the "Please, shut your mouth" part. My memory is a little fuzzy,but I'm sure my Mom hates Riverside, too. Right, Mom?). I ended up getting the UCR supporters so riled up that my Mom made us get up and walk to the other side of the pool during the game so that the war of words would not turn in to a full on brawl. In the end, I think UCSC ended up getting their asses handed to them by UCR but I know Nae appreciated that I had stuck up for her and the girls and that I had put those Riverside people back in their places.

And I'm assuming after reading this, you'll all hate me (unless you're from Orange County) and think of me as the entitled and spoiled brat from the OC and I guess, in a way, you'd be right. But let's bring this back full circle and I'll finish by saying that part of the reason for staying in Australia 6 years rather than the 4 months I had planned to, other than MOTH Dude, is that coming here was a reality check. I have friends here now that dirt bike and think lifted trucks are rad (though none of their chicks wear thong bikinis, thank God) and would have fun at "The River" and that doesn't make them bad or wrong or whitetrash. They're just different. So I went away a little princess from the OC and I think I've hopefully matured in to a (not so) young lady who is more accepting of others.

Oh man, did I take that full circle stuff too far? Are you throwing up in your mouth a little bit after those last few cheesy sentiments? Well, I'll just leave you with this then: I still think, 6 years on, "Thank God I don't live in a hell hole like Riverside!"

Today Was a Fairytale. You Were the Prince.

Haha, ok, so maybe I'm being a little tongue-in-cheek with my title or maybe today really was a fairytale, just a real world fairytale rather than a Disney one. The day itself wasn't anything too great: I did a bit of work online, dishes, two loads of laundry and had a two second chat with my sister, however tonight, tonight is where it got good. At about 7:15 I heard a car pull up in to the driveway and that really freaked me out because I wasn't expecting anyone and MOTH Dude doesn't get home until about 8:45, but there he was walking in our back door an hour and a half early! Dinner wasn't even ready. It was so nice to have him come home at a normal time. To top it off the soup I made was delicious and halfway through it MOTH Dude surprised me with a Cherry Dr. Pepper-score! I'm sure it probably doesn't sound like much to anyone else, but I couldn't think of a better Monday night.

I've Got You to Thank for This

Now closed. Thanks to everyone who entered!

This is the second of my giveaways to celebrate Little D Down Under's first blogiversary! The other one is running concurrently with this one so make sure you check it out, too.

Once again, because I am currently in California waiting for my visa back to Australia and back to my fiance, I've decided to do a Santa Cruz theme for the giveaways.

Here are the items you could win:

Another super soft and really cool shirt from Jesse and Nine Red! This one has an image of the Walton Lighthouse, which is located in the Santa Cruz Harbor, on it. It is a Small (unisex) and is the perfect shirt to pair with some cute jeans and some thongs or Vans for a morning at the Farmers' Market or for walking along West Cliff and watching the surfers and sea lions.

Be sure to check out Jesse's Santa Cruz Specials Blog, as well, any time you are headed out for food or drinks in Santa Cruz because he's got all the local deals right there in one spot for you and it's a super easy site to use!

Image via Mackenzies Chocolates.

You will also win two chocolate banana slugs- one peanut butter filled milk chocolate one and another unfilled one that looks just like the picture above. Banana slugs are native to the area and they are also the mascot for U.C. Santa Cruz. How fun is it that they get to yell "Go Slugs!" during their games?? It always made me laugh to hear my sister and her UCSC Girls' Water Polo teammates yell it at halftime.

The third thing you will win is a bar of Dr. Bronner's Certified Fair Trade, Hemp Peppermint Pure Castille Soap made with Organic Oils because Santa Cruz locals are all about fair trade and organic stuff.

How to Enter: (Please leave one comment per entry and be sure to include your email address so I can contact you if you win.)

1. Tell me what your favorite post from the blog has been this year and why. (You must do this one before any other entries)

2. Visit Nine Red and tell me what your favorite item is.

3. Become a follower of Little D Down Under.

4. Tweet or post a link to the giveaway on your Twitter/Facebook and leave me a comment with a link to it.

Edited to Add: There is now a 5th way to enter: become a follower of Nine Red's Blog

This giveaway is open to the U.S. and Australia. A winner will be picked on March 17, 2010 at 11:59 PM Pacific time. The winner will have 3 days to respond before another winner will be chosen.

Good luck and thanks for reading!

Thanx for Staying

Now closed. Thanks to everyone who entered!

Wednesday marks the 1 year anniversary of this blog. I can't believe I've stuck it out a whole year already! I was never the type of girl who was good at keeping a journal so it has been surprising to me how much I have come to enjoy sharing on here. My friends sometimes ask, "Who reads this thing? Why do you have a blog?" and I really did just start it as a way to keep family and friends back home up to date on what I was doing in Australia and as a record for myself of all the fun times I've had because I have an atrocious memory and would probably forget some of it otherwise.

Since starting the blog, I've made some blogging friends and gained a few readers and I wanted to do something to show my appreciation for you guys so I'm doing two giveaways. Because I am still in California waiting for my De Facto Spouse Visa to be granted, I figured I'd have the theme of the giveaways be Santa Cruz.

With that in mind here is what you can win in giveaway number 1:

I love supporting local artists so I love the whole idea of Etsy. After doing a quick search on Etsy for "Santa Cruz" I came across Nine Red's shop. Jesse makes some really cool shirts that I feel really reflect our area. Not only do his shirts have cool designs, they are also incredibly soft. When I received them in the mail, I contemplated calling the giveaway off and just keeping the shirts for myself! This shirt also comes in red and pink so head on over to his shop to check them out for yourself. I have one shirt in teal, size Medium (unisex) to give away.

Also, if you are a local or plan on travelling to the area, Jesse runs a great blog about all the different bar and restaurant specials that are on in Santa Cruz, too. The site is really easy to use and lets you specify what day of the week you are looking to eat out on and what type of food you'd like to have and then quickly brings up all specials that fit your requirements. As someone on a tight budget, I will definitely be using his site to plan my next night out! Santa Cruz Specials

Along with the shirt you will also win 2 banana slug shaped chocolates from Mackenzies Chocolates. One slug is chocolate and filled with peanut butter and the other is all dark chocolate. The banana slug is the mascot for UC Santa Cruz and real banana slugs can be found living in the redwood forests around here!

Image via mackenzieschocolates.com

Finally, you will also win a bar of Ginger Almond Oatmeal soap from Trader Joe's because I think TJ's exemplifies the California lifestyle, I love it, and my sister works there!

Rules to Enter the Giveaway (Please leave a separate comment for each and make sure you provide me with your email address so I can contact you if you win.)

1. For the first entry you must tell me what your favorite post from this blog has been this year and why.

2. For an extra entry visit the Nine Red Etsy shop and tell me what your favorite item is.

3. For another additional entry, become a follower of Little D Down Under.

4. Finally, for a third additional entry Tweet (or put up a Facebook link) about this giveaway and send me the link of your tweet.

Edited to Add: There is now one additional way to enter: become a follower of Nine Red's blog

This contest is open to the U.S. and Australia and will close on March 17 at 11:59 Pacific Time. After the winner is picked, they will have 3 days to respond before a new winner will be picked.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

This is Nae in the process of cutting down our Christmas tree a few weeks back.

So far mine has been very, very merry!

The gnocchi last night turned out just ok, but I'll post pictures and the process in the coming days anyway to see if you guys can top my effort.

I know Christmas is about love, and family and all that good stuff, but I got awesome presents, too, including a new digital camera! So, see, it's a present to you guys in a way, as well, because now maybe this site will actually get some nice pics rather than shaky, blurry, and dark pictures from my camera phone. I also got clothes and books and jewelry, and a girls' day with Mom and Nae to do Zumba and get pedicures and out to a family dinner, a new purse made by Stylez at ReJENerate (check the link at the top of my page), a Zhu Zhu (you know, one of those little movable hamsters that were supposed to be all the rage for little kids this year? Dad got us each one and it is totally freaking out the cat as they run around and make cheeping noises) and a ticket to Brand New from Boyfriend which I was nearly crying over because I am so excited to finally see them after being rained out during the great Newcastle flood the last time they were in Australia. (Elsja, they are playing in March in Sydney. Get a ticket if it's not sold out already!)

Now, I'm being super classy and drinking Malibu with some tangerine juice from Trader Joe's and sitting in the sun and reading. (And yes, I know Malibu is little kid's alcohol and is not sophisticated like wine, but I can drink it super cold and it tastes good mixed with stuff so whatever.) It's probably in the high 60s here today and gorgeous out.

Hope you all have had or are having a wonderful day with your family and loved ones. I really couldn't have asked for a better day today.

Thank You for Being a Friend

Today is the Hairdresser's baby shower (well I should say was as it is early Monday Morning Aus time and Sunday afternoon here). I wish I could've gone. I emailed the Hairdresser last week as I am trying to hunt down some Nerf guns for her nephews while I'm here and she assured me that she had a cute outfit picked out for the party and that she was going to be wearing heels, no matter how much they killed her feet! That is so like her :) The next time I see her she will be a mom (mum) and I can't wait to meet the little guy or girl and to see her and the Soccer Player be parents.

I wanted to say a big thank you to all my friends in Australia who have helped me and Boyfriend by filling out a statutory declaration letting the Australian Government know that Boyfriend and I are, indeed, a real couple and I'm not just after a green card. Knowing that you guys took the time to fill the forms out (and that you really do want me back in Aus with you) means a lot to me. It's nice that I/we can lean on you guys when we need it and that you all always deliver. I hope you know that I/we would do the same for any one of you! It's still Thanksgiving weekend here in the States, so if any of you guys are reading this, know that I am thankful for you!

The Way You Squeeze My Lemon...

Happy Black Friday to everyone! Hope you went out and bought lots of stuff you didn't really need/want, but got it anyway because the deal was too good to pass up :) Or maybe, instead, you stayed home/in bed all day still in a food coma? I had trouble sleeping last night, probably because I was too full and was really tired when it was time to get up for work this morning.Nae's food was amazing, as expected. The big highlight for me was this spinach salad with apples and candied pecans with a citrus vingarette that Nae whipped up both last night and tonight. I could eat that salad all day, everyday. I've got a dark picture of it, but it really doesn't do it justice.

I think she got her recipe inspiration from something she saw on the Food Network website and then tweaked it by adding some fresh squeezed orange juice in to the dressing, as well as some lemon zest and rather than doing the walnuts, she did the candied pecans instead.

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 tablespoon cider vinegar
• 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
• Salt and freshly ground pepper
• 5 ounces baby spinach leaves (about 5 cups lightly packed)
• 1 Granny Smith apple
• 1 tablespoon of orange juice
• Pinch of orange zest
• Candied pecans

In a small bowl whisk together the oil, vinegar, mustard, orange juice and zest. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Toss the spinach with the dressing until evenly coated then divide the spinach among 4 serving plates. Core the apple and slice it into matchsticks. Sprinkle a quarter of the apple pieces on top of each salad. Follow with the pecan pieces. Serve immediately.

She also made up a double batch of lemon bars and I had a peak at the website she was consulting while making it and it was from another Food Network friend, Emeril! These are always a big hit, but seem pretty time consuming as you have to squeeze and zest lots of lemons (my job yesterday) and bake the bottom layer before you then rebake it with the lemon layer added. Here is the recipe and a picture from the site, as well as a picture of our slice (can you spot the difference in picture quality? haha)

I thought this lemon looked kindof neat after it had been zested.

Ingredients

• 12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks), plus 1 tablespoon cold unsalted butter
• 1 3/4 cups plus 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 2/3 cup confectioners' sugar, plus more for garnish
• 1/4 cup cornstarch
• 3/4 teaspoon salt plus a pinch
• 4 eggs, lightly beaten
• 1 1/3 cups granulated sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons lemon zest
• 2/3 cup fresh lemon juice, strained
• 1/4 cup whole milk
• 2 tablespoons limoncello, or other lemon-flavored liqueur, optional

Directions

Lightly butter a 9 by 13-inch baking dish with 2 teaspoons of the butter and line with 1 sheet of parchment or waxed paper. Butter the top of this sheet of paper with 1 teaspoon of the remaining butter and then lay a second sheet of parchment or waxed paper crosswise over the first sheet. The parchment should be cut large enough so that the sides are even with the top of the baking dish; this extra paper will function as handles to help you remove the lemon squares from the pan later. Set pan aside.

In a large bowl combine 1 3/4 cups of the flour, 2/3 cup of the confectioners' sugar, the cornstarch, and 3/4 teaspoon of the salt and mix thoroughly. Cut the remaining 12 tablespoons of butter into small pieces and add to the flour mixture. Using your hands, 2 forks, or a pastry blender, work the butter into the flour mixture until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Transfer the butter-flour mixture to the prepared baking dish and press into an even 1/4-inch layer along the bottom and partly up the sides of the pan. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.

While the crust is chilling, preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Bake the crust until golden brown, about 20 to 25 minutes.

While the crust is baking, assemble the filling by combining the eggs, granulated sugar, flour, and lemon zest in a medium bowl and whisking until smooth. Stir in lemon juice, milk, limoncello, and remaining pinch of salt and mix well.

When the crust is golden brown, remove it from the oven and reduce the oven temperature to 325 degrees F. Stir the lemon mixture again, then pour onto the warm crust. Bake until the filling is set, about 20 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

Grasp the waxed paper that lines the 2 longest sides of the baking dish and remove thebars from the pan by pulling up gently. The entire dessert should easily dislodge and come away from the pan.

Transfer to a cutting board and, using a clean knife, cut into squares, wiping knife after each cut. Place a small amount of confectioners' sugar into a small sieve, and sprinkle the bars with the sugar. Serve immediately, or refrigerate, wrapped with plastic wrap, up to 2 days, until ready to serve.

And just in case you aren't sick to death of turkey and all Thanksgiving related goodness, here are pictures of our dinner last night:

Sorry about the glare, I didn't even notice it until uploading it earlier and it's the only picture of a full plate I got.

When the Sun is Shining...

Man, yesterday turned out to be the day for good news. Not only did I get that job, as I've already mentioned, but one of my friends got engaged and I found out that our friends in Sydney are going to be having a baby! You always hear the phrase "when it rains, it pours" well this is the converse of that "when the sun shines, it shines brightly!"

The Good Life, Let's Go On a Livin Spree

Yesterday Stretched on For so Long, Tomorrow Feels Like Forever

Busy times around here.

Friday afternoon I got a call from our property management company that basically let me know that our status for staying in our house was back up in the air, which is not what I wanted to hear less than a week before I was leaving, and after being told earlier in the week that it was pretty much a done deal that we'd get to stay so not to worry about packing or cleaning up! Friday night we went down to see Turk and Stylez. I made fish tacos for them at their place and some really good peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. I hoped they thought the fish tacos were ok, they had never tried them before and they had never had the soft corn tortillas before either. All night long their house kept filling up with pot smoke because their neighbors were burning it off by the kilo it seemed like for some reason. They had a fire going on in the backyard and smoke was billowing high up in to the sky and it was definitely pot that they were burning but I have no idea why they would be throwing it on the fire like that. Anyway, it was a fun and mellow night and I always have a really great time with T&S because they are great people. They are funny, have similar tastes to us, and are really genuine, warm and caring people. Stylez gave me a mission to bring her back the most chocolatey+peanut buttery thing I can find from the U.S. I already have at least one thing in mind for her.

Saturday morning we went out to this cool cafe for breakfast and then headed back to the Coast. We quickly ran in to look at storage units in case we need one later in the week and then I went in to see the Hairdresser and she made me look beautiful. I said to Boyfriend, "I feel so much prettier when I come back from the Hairdresser's" and he said, "Yeah, you do look prettier!" Haha, he really put his foot in his mouth on that one, though, I know what he was trying to say and it was sweet. Tinkerbell came in to get her hair did (yes did and not done) while I was there and I was glad to see her one last time before I went home. We were all going out to dinner later that night, but Tinkerbell, the Farmer, and Junior were going to have a night at home as they had had a big night before and Junior didn't let them get much sleep when they did get in. At about 6, we all (LC, Bob Marley, baby Lo, the Runner, the Smooth Talker, Croc, the Teacher, the Soccer Player, the Hairdresser, me and Boyfriend) met up for dinner at a local Chinese food place. LC and I have been wanting to try it for ages and though, the food was good, the service was pretty dismal so I don't think we'll be going back there anytime soon. I got a hug from all our friends, except for Bob Marley who forgot I was leaving this week, as we were going home and it hit me that I wouldn't see them again for four months. I got a bit teary eyed in the car because I knew I'd miss hanging out with all of them while I was away, plus I was bummed that I wouldn't be there to see the Soccer Player and the Hairdresser's baby just after he/she was born and to obviously see them in their role as brand new parents.

Yesterday, I spent the day packing my bags and then we drove up to Newcastle to see the Redhead and his girlfriend. You may remember me mentioning the Redhead ages ago on here and asking for any interested ladies to contact me. No one ever did, but in about May I think, he met someone and they are going great. They are even taking a trip to Fiji in February together...I wonder if it's an engagement trip already??

Today was spent frantically trying to clean the house a bit and tick off things on the move out list that the property management company had sent over. I got the windows done, blinds dusted (which was a huge job as they were caked in red dirt from the dust storms), and oven and stove top cleaned up. I also baked a pasta dish, made chicken stir fry, and two batches of "Nicole Richie Chicken" to put in the freezer for Boyfriend while I am away (he's spoiled and not much of a cook). Then tonight we headed over to Boyfriend's Pa's house to have dinner with him, as well as Boyfriend's parents and brother, Bob the Builder.

The past four days have been crazy busy, but I'm glad that I've squeezed in seeing everyone. As I leave each group of friends or family, I reflect on how lucky I am to have each person in my life and about how I'm going to miss them like crazy for awhile. It is so great to have a mix of Boyfriend's family and our friends to make up a feeling of family for me while I'm here.

And while I will miss everyone a whole lot, I am also super stoked to see my Mom and Dad, Nae, and any and all the friends who have promised to pay me a visit!

I'll try and post again on Thursday morning (Wednesday afternoon U.S. time) before I head off for the airport. It will probably be a dramatic post, telling everyone I love them and dividing up all my worldly possessions between Boyfriend and my family. I hate flying! In the meantime, I'm going to keep cleaning the house and hope that the real estate person calls back with news tomorrow that we can stay in our place and I'm going to try and find some kind of herbal (no, not the kind of herbal I mentioned earlier) remedy to help calm my nerves about flying.

I fell in love with her, my little Surfer Girl

I lived a very privileged life growing up...I went to a private school, had a couple of cars passed on to me by my parents (including a Jag that I trashed only a few weeks after receiving my license...that's kind of a fun story to tell, I might post about it some time), and I didn't have to work through high school. I was free to hang out on weekends and surf and after school was also spent at the beach or doing homework and just hanging out. It was a very rude awakening then for little princess me when the summer I graduated high school my Dad told me it was time to find myself a job. I figured I would just continue to hang out, collect allowance, and attend college for 12 or whatever hours a week. I bitched and cried and didn't want to get one. The truth is, I hate change. I was overwhelmed at the thought of starting college and getting a job for the first time all at once. So I searched and searched and got an interview at Target and got the job, but then decided I didn't want to work there at all. I spread my search out further and decided since I was planning on moving to Huntington Beach, I might as well look for a job there. I ended up getting called in for interviews at both the Jack's Newport location and the Jack's Huntington location. I was skinnier then and thought I looked cute in a surf brand tank, some jeans, and some Reef sandals, but when I was offered the job at the Huntington location the manager was like "We wear mostly t-shirts and jeans here, nothing too revealing" so I took it to mean I wasn't allowed to wear my tank top anymore. It blew my mind to then see what the girls from the girls' store would get away with wearing and I laughed later when my friend Crystal told me she had basically been told the only thing that we weren't allowed to show up in was just our bathing suits.

Anyway, so I started work the day before I started my first day of college and I was nervous. I didn't know the protocals. I didn't know if I had to ask permission to use the bathroom quickly or anything and I wanted to do a good job (because while I am lazy off the job, I like to do a really good job when I am working). The first month and a half were pretty boring; I either guarded the dressing rooms to make sure people weren't stealing stuff/hooking up in them or worked one of the sections of the store folding shirts and helping customers find stuff. I was stoked when I got asked to work on the registers and that's when I started loving the job. The girls I worked with: Jen, Crystal, and K-10 were so much fun and it was so cute to see who in the store had a crush on which girl (one of the couples that developed then is still together now, 5 years later!). There was also one boy, Hung, who worked the registers and he was in with all the owners and friends with all their sons/nephews. Once I started working the registers, I also got to know the boys who sold the boards and wetsuits better. One by one my girls started leaving to start school somewhere else or to get married or whatever. Hung went to work in the main office and develop the Jack's website ( http://www.jackssurfboards.com/) and I was left to take over as the head cashier. At this point, I got to know all the owners really well and stopped being afraid of them. I still miss getting harassed by Bob, Ron, Little Mike, Sean, and Jamal (all co-owners) and Moe (the security guard) at least once a shift. I also got to start ordering some of the merchandise for the front counters, along with Bob's permission.

A year had passed and I thought I'd leave Jack's and do surf lessons instead as the pay was better and it meant never having to work until 10:00pm (we were open from 8am-10pm, every day of the year except Christmas). I worked my last day and then went away to chaperone a surf trip to Fiji with my old surf team. Over there I realized I wanted to come back and work at Jack's so I came back with my tail between my legs and asked for my job back. I think I got punished and put back on the floor for a little bit, but then the big yearly comp, the U.S. Open of Surfing, came to town and they needed all hands on deck and I got thrown back on a register.

Time passed and I was kindof goofing off at school and doing the bare minimum. I was still passing and still getting good grades, but I was doing school around work rather than working around school. It got to be that I had worked at Jack's for about a year and a half, only half the people or less that I had originally started with were still there and those were mostly managers or guys who had been working the surfboard section for a few years.

I remember one day these two giggly girls came strolling in to the store with their arms linked together. One had wavy, red hair and the other had long, super straight, dark brown hair. I rolled my eyes and was like "who hired the high school chicks again?" I think I even asked my friend Heidi about them...like who they were, what their deal was and all that. Turns out, they'd soon become my best friends at the shop. On my 20th birthday I trained Bri on the registers and really liked her personality. From there I looked forward to seeing her on shift and hanging out with her and then once she had warmed up to me, her friend Katie did, as well.

A few months later, Nae was back from her first year away at college and I had probably the best summer of my life. Nae came to work at the shop and we had so much fun working together along with Heidi, Bri, and Katie. The time seemed to fly by and we were the cool kids at work so we got away with plenty. We were friends with the managers, like Cheyne, Kenny, and Peter, as well as with nephew's/sons of the owners like Hemzeh and Akram and they'd all hang out near the counter and joke and gossip with us all day, too. At night, I'd head to Bun's apartment and drink a lot and I found out as I stumbled around her pool area one night that Bri and Katie lived just about 5 doors down from her in the same apartment building! Other nights we would pick up Heidi and her and Nae and I would go to parties at Kenny and Geoff's place to hang with everyone from work. I was single at this point and it was just fun to hang out with all my friends and not worry about my stupid exboyfriend. I really can't explain it now or make it seem as fun as it was, I guess, in this post, but it was a great time in my life.

Halfway through the summer the owners me to help out and help manage the girls' store for some shifts. There was a newly hired manager in the girls' store that didn't fit in to the Jack's mode of things, in my opinion. Not looks wise because I'm not the stereotypical blonde surfer girl that you'd think would be working at a surf shop either, but just she'd make the girls do dumb stuff like write about their shift after it was done, like "I liked this about today's shift....I didn't like this about today's shift..." and I thought it was dumb, corny, and unnecessary. So being immature and 20, I wrote her a note saying I thought these end of shift notes were dumb and wasting our girls' time, I mean they were working 8 hours for minimum wage and then they were supposed to write a mini diary entry each day when they were done? Lame! So I think I was promptly sent back to my head cashier position at the main store. I don't think I really got in trouble, the summer season was just over so they were slowing down at their store and didn't need my help. Not two weeks later this newly hire manager got fired for taking in dodgey checks from her friends for a significant amount of merchandise...dumbass!

That was another thing that blew my mind: how many people got fired for stealing or doing dumb stuff like that. I think retail jobs are like that in general. I never took anything, not even a bar of wax or stickers or anything without permission. I got good discounts on all the things I wanted so stealing just never seemed worth it to me, but to lots of people the appeal of all that cool stuff sitting around was too tempting.

Anyway, so summer ended and Nae had gone back to school and by this time I had been accepted to the University out here so I knew my time at Jack's was coming to an end. Those last four months were still a lot of fun. I looked forward to coming in and seeing all my friends and sad that it was going to end. Katie, Bri, and I started calling our crew the "Jack's Elite Crew" and on my last shift with them I brought in cookies and shirts that I had made for them with their names and Jack's Elite Crew on them. They also threw me a party at their place with everyone from the shop pretty much coming. I got sloppy drunk, I think I asked Cheyne to make out a few times, and then drove him and Hung home with my friend Patty and as we were walking to our car I decided I would do a sneak run and jump on to Hung's back and instead jumped on him and knocked him over...I was so embarassed when I remembered the next day and again when I saw him a few days later. But in general I thought it was so cool that the girls had thrown me a party and everyone had turned out (whether it was for me or just for a party didn't matter, they were there). Leaving was really sad, but I thought I'd be back that summer to start working again and told everyone as much. I ended up not coming back to the U.S. until that Thanksgiving when I went back to Jack's and asked if I could work the season for them. The boys were all still there, but by that time Bri and Katie had found other jobs and Heidi had had a baby!

I still look back on my time at Jack's as one of the best times in general in my life. I was part of the family and it was a big, crazy, fun family to be a part of. I'm still friends with Bri and Katie and try and see them whenever I go home. Bri and I talk a lot over email and she had even asked me to be in her wedding (but I couldn't because I didn't have enough money to go home this past May)! I haven't talked to Heidi since right after she had her baby, but I'd love to get in contact with her again and I know Katie still talks to her so maybe there is some hope there. Just recently Cheyne added me on Facebook and through him I found Hung, and my other friend Peter just popped up in my "People You May Know" feature. I don't talk to any of them on there, but it's nice to just have that link to them still and know that I could talk to them if I wanted to. I'd also love to pop in and see the owners at some point because they were all really good guys and I miss them and their advice.

Like I said, this post doesn't do it justice because I don't have any really crazy stories to tell (well, except for this time this guy K-Rod "borrowed" my phone and took it in to the bathroom and took 5 pictures of himself posing in his underwear on my phone for me, or the time Nick and Aaron Carter came to the store, or the time I rang up one of the lesser known Jackass guys, or the time when we made fun of someone's girlfriend for wearing Barbie pink blush really heavily, or every week when the handicapped group would come in and their care taker would hit on one of the other cashier's and tell her how he'd like her to check out his studio and how he'd like to paint her) but overall it was just the whole experience of working there that was great and I will always look back on that time very, very fondly.

Hope and Validation

We're a little bit behind the times down here in Oz. Today's Oprah episode is from the day after the Presidential Election! It's neat to sit here and watch it and get that excited buzz all over again; to remember that moment when I had a little part of changing history. I did a mail in ballot and had to read up on all the Props in California to make sure I was voting the way I wanted to. I was deeply disappointed when Prop 8 (aka Prop H8te) passed and disappointed again last week when it was upheld, but I figure maybe we'll get it right the next time it comes up for a vote. But I was also glad when my fellow Californias voted for Prop 2, which meant livestock (chickens, pigs, cows, etc) had to be caged/stalled in a humane manner from now on.

I will never forget sitting on my couch in my apartment in Newcastle for 5 hours straight watching the Australian coverage of the election. My heart soared each time a state was called for Obama. Boyfriend and everyone at his work was watching it online and we'd constantly message back and forth as news came in.

When the election was finally called in his favor I remember feeling so much pride in my country. I remember crying out of happiness, probably the only time I've done so in my life up til now. I remember calling my Mom and her screaming in the phone because she was so excited and us talking about how big this was. It was an amazing moment. Watching John McCain give his concession speech, I was proud of him as well because he did it with grace and without bitterness. Then when President Elect Obama got up there I was a mess of tears again. "Yes, we did!"

So I know that we're behind the times in TV here and I know this post is months too late (though this damn show has me tearing up all over again!), but I wanted to tie it in to that message of hope that President Obama stands for...

When was the last time you felt hope or thankfulness? Like really felt it? Up until yesterday I can say that I don't think I had felt hope since the election. I had been thankful for all the big things in my life, but how often do we all overlook the little things we have to be thankful for?

I was out on a walk between storms yesterday and was overwhelmed by the awesomeness around me. The lake was like a mirror and reflected all the different colors of the clouds overhead in it, the air was fresh and clean, and there were so many birds flying around me: kookaburras laughing, white and pink parrots screeching, little purple, orange and green lorikeets screaming from the trees, huge pelicans trying to steal fish from the fisherman on the bridge, and the tiniest little song birds flittng around in the trees that I could only see when I stopped walking and watched them dart from branch to branch.

It was then that I began to feel hope for things that have been bothering me lately because of all the little things I was thankful for. I know I'm getting in to some hippie-sounding crap here now so totally, if this isn't your thing, skip this posting and the next one will for sure be lighter, but if not and you want to stick around reading, I'd like to share with you all the things I am hopeful for and the things I am thankful for. I'd also like to challenge you to think about the own things in your life that could do with some hope and all the things you have to be thankful for. It's amazing how much doing these two little things can lift your mood!

Hopes:

I have hope that I WILL get a job.

I have hope that I will be able to stay in Australia with Boyfriend.

I have hope that everything will work out.

I have hope that things will get better....money wise, housing wise, job wise

I have hope that Boyfriend and I will someday get married and that we will be able to figure out some of the things that stand in our way (i.e. where in the world to live?)

Thankful for:

As always, my amazing family

Still having a little bit of money in my bank account

Having a roof over my head

Having a boyfriend who loves me heaps

Having a great 2nd family of Boyfriend's family and friends here to support me

That if I did have to leave here my family would welcome me back with open arms and help me in that transition back home

And then there are the things that are so easy to forget to be thankful for:

Being able to see so that I can see all those amazing birds I hear in the trees

Being able to hear because I love music so much

Being able to walk and not having any types of other physical or mental disabilities

The fact that I've been able to live in another country for over 4 years

That I have been able to travel the world before I was even 25 years old

So that's it for me trying to be all deep/cheesey and stuff...I'll get back to posting junk food recipes, tv show reviews, and travel adventures now!