I Hope You Had the Time of Your Life

Just recently Bun's little sister Mini-Bun posted her Prom pictures and gosh did that make me feel really, really old! Mini-Bun was 9, maybe 10, when we graduated from high school so it's surprising how fast the end of her own Senior year has snuck up on us. Mini-Bun looked stunning and like a true California surfer girl on her big day. She looked stylish and effortless and that's due to the fact that I believe she did her own hair and makeup and reused a dress from a previous dance. Who does that?! Who is that cool at 17-18 to say, "Hey Mom, it's cool, I don't need a new dress to the big dance because I've got one that I've already used that will work great again"? Mini-Bun=Awesome!

Seeing her Prom pictures and coupled with the fact that I just saw a friend's Facebook page that is still covered with pics of her and her old high school crew got me thinking about my own Prom night and what a blast it was. I had been to 3 other dances over the 4 years of high school and all of them were awkward/awful. As a freshman I went to the Homecoming dance with a boy I had gone to grade school with. He didn't go to my same high school and I didn't know anyone there and we hadn't seen each other in 6 months so we didn't have a lot to talk about and I can't remember if we danced or not. As a junior I thought I was asking a cute guy I had met once to the dance and my friends were going to ask his friends so we could all go in a group. They never got around to actually asking the friends so there I was again with a guy I didn't really know, but luckily he was friends with my sisters boyfriend at the time so we kindof hung with them for the night. We left as soon as we were allowed to and went back to Bun's house. At this point I kind of liked the guy, but he didn't seem to be paying enough attention for my liking. So I decided to get drunk for the first time in my life off some blue koolaid and vodka concoction that Bun and her cousin had whipped up. I ended up drinking way too much and acting like a complete tool, even saying I was going to jump off the balcony on to Bun's Mom's Navigator (3 feet) below! (What did I think I was going to accomplish, a sprained ankle?? Haha, so dramatic! I still can not talk to Bun's cousin without her bringing up "I'm going to jump on the Navi" without fail, soooooo not fun introducing her to new people, especially new boyfriends who always got to hear the story, too!) (P.S. Sorry Mom for getting drunk at 16 and you not knowing until now. I guess there is a reason for the legal drinking age not to be 16!) So the dance date took off and we never spoke again because he didn't want to deal with that kind of bullshit, rightly so. The next dance I went to was Homecoming my senior year. I thought I was going in a small group of the cool kids, but turns out it was more like the top 100 coolest kids, and me and my date didn't get an invite to their after party...ouch! I also hated my shoes, wasn't a huge fan of my dress, none of my real friends were at the dance, and my date was the Loser ExBoyfriend who didn't go to the school.

Finally, finally, for senior Prom everything came together. We partied with the football boys every weekend and I sat next to one of the team captains in Math that year and we really hit it off. We had made out one weekend (sorry, again, Mom, and it was just making out), but really only because Bun had left us alone downstairs at her house and I was too young and dumb to say "No" to a popular boy. I mean, he didn't force me or anything, that's not what I'm saying, but I would've been happy not to make out with him that night, too. Anyway, so all of us decide we should go as a group and hire a limo, do pictures together, then have an after party at someone's house. The Team Captain asked me by bringing me two different bouquets at lunch one day and I was excited to be going with him because we were really good friends by then and the Loser ExBF was out of the picture for the moment.

The night of Prom I was running late because Nae wanted to follow us over to where we were going to be taking pictures beforehand to have her pictures done there, too, but her friend was running late and I finally just had to go. I got there and the Team Captain was pretty pissed because picture time was over and we had to leave and he and I only got a snap or two before jumping in the limo, but as we were taking those few quick snaps he said something really nice- "that I looked so beautiful, I was worth the wait"...awwww!

On the ride over to the Long Beach Convention Center, we laughed and talked and had a good time and then one of the boy's pulled out a bong, nicknamed Snoop Bong, and started taking huge rips off of it. Me, Bun, and Candie (another old friend whom I've only briefly wrote about to chronicle the demise of our friendship) just thought it was hilarious, but the other girls in the group who we weren't really close to were spazzing out and saying we were all going to get contact highs or wreak of pot smoke and not be allowed in to the dance (and they were the types of girls who had those huge, poofy princess dresses so smoke probably could've hid up under one of their layers or something) so the guy put the bong away. As we walked in to the dance, we took our couples photo and group photo. The picture of me and the Team Captain is a great one- I am standing with my back to his chest and just as they were taking the picture the Team Captain whispered something really naughty in to my ear that made me laugh and that is our picture- him with a big smile and me mid-laugh. I also got a great picture with Nae- we are both in our fancy black dresses and I had her jump up in to my arms like I was a groom carrying her across the threshold.

The rest of the dance I had a great time running around and chatting with people and taking pictures with friends I was only going to see for two more weeks of school. The Team Captain was in fine form, having mixed some Shrooms in with his Mac n Cheese when we got to the dance and he was super funny to hang with. We had one dance that night and not being a dancer that was enough for me and the Team Captain being the charmer he is danced with tons of girls the whole night and it was nice to not be with a boyfriend where I'd have to care or be jealous if he spent the night dancing with other girls.

Prior to the dance, the Team Captain and I told people if they couldn't think of anyone to write for Prom King and Queen, vote us. I thought it was a bit of a joke because I was pretty anti school spirit. A lot of people in my homeroom thought it was funny so they put us down. Well, a friend of my sister's was on the dance committee or student council had come up to her a few days before the dance and told her that we had enough votes to make it on to the court, but I guess with school politics we somehow didn't make it on the ballot. Didn't matter in the end, the two nicest kids from our class won it and I thought that was pretty great.

At the end of the night we piled back in to the limo and headed out to a ritzy community in the hills above Newport Beach to spend the night at the Co-Captain's (and Bun's date) house. I must have been pretty tired because I don't remember much from the night. I got upstairs early to claim a couch because Princess D doesn't really do well sleeping on floors. After I had gotten in my pajamas, the Team Captain came upstairs and asked me if we were going to hook up that night. I said "No" and he, ever the gentleman, asked if it was okay if he went and hooked up with someone else! I said "Sure, go for it, good luck!" or something to that effect and then the Team Captain proceeded to whip out his guitar and serenade me with this reggae song that I loved how he sung before going off to fulfill all of his stereotypical Prom night fantasies. It was really, really nice and honestly, I thought it was a perfect night and a perfect Prom. I had fun, I looked good, there was no stress, and I got to spend it with all the people who meant the most to me at that point in my life.

So, did reading this bring back any fun or funny dance memories for any of you? Did anyone lose their virginity in the back of a limo or the back of a Ford Fiesta that night? Did you love what you wore? Hate what you wore? Go with someone your regretted or your future spouse? What was the highlight or lowlight for you that night?

Last Night I Dreamt You Called from Costa Rica Part 4

As I was checking my blog tracking stuff this morning I noticed that someone had come to the blog after doing a google search for the term "Quacklepuss" For those of you who haven't read all the way back in the blog or have just forgotten, Team Quacklepuss was the name of the high school surf team I was on. I could also see that two people had spent some time looking at my original Costa Rica Trip post and I was thinking "Oh man, how embarassing, one of the boys has found it and read about which ones we used to think were cute and oh man, I called some of them little bitches, shit!" Well anyway, an hour or so later I got a comment on the 3rd posting about the trip saying that my version of how things all went down was pretty funny and that I was pretty naive to what had happened and to write back and the person would fill me in on how it really went down. So I said I'd be fine with being stood corrected and just got a response from one of the boys who left to have their own little Costa Rican adventure so I thought I'd post it on the main page again so that everyone would know his version of the story and not just mine.

Here is the background info on the surf team:

http://littleddownunder.blogspot.com/2009/05/setting-scene.html

And then the first 3 posts about our Costa Rica Trip:

http://littleddownunder.blogspot.com/2009/05/last-night-i-dreamt-you-called-from.html

http://littleddownunder.blogspot.com/2009/05/last-night-i-dreamt-you-calledpart-2.html

http://littleddownunder.blogspot.com/2009/05/last-night-i-dreamt-you-called-part-3.html

And here is what the guy had to say about how it really went down:

hahah well running off was thrilling, and created the exact Costa Rican experience I was looking for. The main point I want to stress is that the tension started when Mr. G wouldn't let us have a beer, even though perfectly legal..I was 18. I had heard that Mr. G overheard that stuff, and was suspicious of our nighttime endeavors, but this was all speculation. The main point i want to make is that when they searched our cabana..all they found was an EMPTY bug tucked inside the mattress, that looked like it was 15 yrs old...obviously not ours, but this was all Mr. G needed to flip out. He accused us of planning to smuggle shitty C.R. herb back to the US, which is proposterous considering the quality we can get at home. So that night he took me on a walk and gave me an ultimatum. His exact words, I will never forget them MR. G - "You can come back with us but all your stuff has to stay in Costa Rica, all you can bring on the plane is your tshirt, sandals, and boardshorts...all of your other belongings must stay in C.R. I will let you sell them to the locals if you like. Otherwise you'll have to figure it out..." and he left it open. I immmediately objected, becasue i had over $2000 worth of stuff with me, and PLENTY of cash...I told him he was nuts, and there is no proof of anything. Mr. G - "the empty bag is my proof!" he would make a great cop! hahaha. Anyways, we had the time of our life...spent a week and a half on the Carribean Coast, surfed 20ft Salsa Brava, and became locals at the reggae bar. PS we were ducking in and out of stores/bars when Mr. G and everyone cane searching for us in Tamarindo...we caught up with a few of our buddies who hadnt gone rogue, and got a good laugh. His irrationality and quick temper brought all this upon the trip and team. Yeah I may not have been an angel, but the choice I had to make was an easy one...Leave my shit in C.R. and give in to Mr. G... never..I had all the respect in the world for the man until he gave me that ultimatum. We were forced to leave...and delightfully obliged...So many good waves to surf in that country! How could you just surf three breaks in front of the compound! Playa Negra was less than 30 miles away and perfect! Anyways, these are just a few thoughts hahaha time of my life!

Anyway, so there you have it.

Super embarassed that this is how I was recontacted by an old surf teammate, but glad he had a good attitude about it and could laugh about it all. (Sorry about the psuedonym by the way.) I can't believe it's been over 8 years since we were there! That trip was one of the best times of my life, too, and still ranks in my top two places I've ever been to along with Kenya.

What You Gon' Do With All That Junk? All That Junk Inside That Trunk?

So Boyfriend and I have been trying to eat healthier and be more active for the past couple of months, but while I am feeling a lot healthier and walks feel easier, I'm not losing any weight so from now until I get back home I'm going to be on a pretty strict diet with my only cheat days being the day we have everyone over here for a bbq and if Boyfriend decides to take me out to dinner before I leave. I'm hoping the extra exercise I will be doing, by for sure getting up and walking while Boyfriend is at bootcamp, and my diet of fish, fruits, veggies, and brown rice will have a noticeable change in the numbers on the scale and how I look over the next month. Wish me luck because it won't be fun! It'll totally be worth it though if it means my Mom isn't on my case about my weight as much when I get home (you know it's true Mom! and I know you only do it because you love me, but I still hate it anyway) and I've got plans to see various friends from high school when I'm home and some of them haven't seen me in 5 years so I don't want them to think I've turned in to some kind of beast when they see me now. So, in advance, sorry if my posts get a little bitchy over the next month or so, but remember I will be chocolate deprived and in my book, that's a good reason to be a bit bitchy and sorry because I probably won't have any fun, junky recipes to put up until I am back home and cooking with my sister. I will try and post some fish recipes, though, if that makes up for it any.

You Oughta Know

I'm a little worried posting this...you might read it and never come back! I guess it's a risk I'm willing to take because I thought it was fun and funny to write and hey, you guys deserve to know all about the big dork I really am! So here it goes:

10 Things You Didn't Know About Little D (aka 10 Things You Didn't Want/Need to Know About Little D)

1)I hate flying. It's two months out from my trip home and I'm already thinking about the flight and dreading it. When I book flights I think to myself "Am I sealing my fate? Did I just pick the one flight that week that is going to go down? Should I rebook? But then what if that's the one that goes down?" I used to be prescribed Xanax for flying because I get that nervous. I'd still take it, but I don't have anyone to prescribe it to me anymore. Weird habit for someone who chooses to live thousands of miles away from their family, thus ensuring at least two 14 hour flights home a year, right?

2) I freak out in crowds. I hate people touching me, being too close to me, blocking my way when i've got things to do...whether it's picking out movies or grocery shopping, I panic or get really pissed off and it's a toss up on any given day which it'll be between panicked or pissy. This amuses Boyfriend to no end and he sometimes laughs about how frustrated I get and other times he's really nice and can foresee when the crowds are going to get to me and gets me out of the situation as quickly as possible.

3) I became a vegetarian for a few years starting at age 11 because Jonathon Taylor Thomas did an interview in Teen Beat or some magazine like that where he said he'd only ever date a fellow vegetarian. I didn't know when or where I'd meet JTT but I wanted to have at least that one thing going for me if we ever did meet and he suddenly wanted to date me!

4) I used to have OCD (self diagnosed, but whatever, minor detail) as a child, probably around the age of 10-11 and everything I had to do had to be even....if I ate a bite of food and chewed it on my left side, well then my right side and in the middle had to have a bite chewed there as well. I had to eat an even number of chips or crackers or whatever, I had to flip a switch 2 times or 4 times, but never 1 or 3 times....I wanted things to be fair and I didn't want to hurt these inanimate objects' feelings....One day I finally realized that my little ticks were taking over and decided to try and stop them. I still catch myself from time to time moving different bites of food across my mouth so that things are fair and even, but for the most part I was able to unteach myself my OCD habits. The one thing that I still do(and it's funny given my love of all things being even, I think it has something with me wanting life to be fair and my Mom telling me constantly when I was little that "Life's not fair.") is that I have to wake up on an odd numbered time...the number has to end in a 1, 3, 7, or 9....I even leave out the 5 because it's half way through 0-9. It's the one habit that I just can't shake.

5) The first big concert I ever went to was the Rolling Stones with my Mom, Dad, and Nae when we were probably around 12 years old. It was at Dodger's Stadium and we had seats on the field pretty close to the stage and I thought the whole thing was so neat, but me and Nae kept complaining about the "funny smelling smoke" all around us!

6)For my 18th birthday I asked my parents for Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young tickets and that's what we did...Me, Mom, Dad, Nae and Nae's boyfriend at the time went and rocked out and it was really special. I went through a classic rock phase (I still love it, just don't have it on repeat like I did then). I also used the song "Teach Your Children Well" as the song on my Senior page in the yearbook. (I've also seen Fleetwood Mac, Eric Clapton, Neil Young on his own, Paul McCartney, and James Taylor over the years and about 100 other bands that aren't classic rock.)

7) I was on the yearbook staff my Senior year and it was really fun and I got to meet some good people and use 6th period as a time to just hang out, though I probably should've worked harder and actually met some deadlines.

8) The only school dance I ever really had fun at was at Senior Prom and that's because I went with my whole group of friends finally and my date was a really good friend, the Captain of the High School Football Team. I was really late to our meeting spot and he was really frustrated as I was holding up the whole group, but when he saw me he said the best thing ever, that "he couldn't be mad at me anymore because I looked so good." Swoon! We had a great time: he said something silly to me as our photo was being taken so I love our picture together because I've got the biggest smile on my face, we danced a slow song together but weren't together together so I was free to mingle with everyone and take pictures with a bunch of friends and not be glued to his side the whole night or expected to dance with only him, and at the end of the night since we weren't having prom night sex he serenaded me with this reggae song that I always used to love how he sang and then we partied it up and spent the night together (but once again, not together together) at one of our friends' houses with the whole group.

9) I have the biggest mouth in the world and am awful at keeping secrets, though I really am working on it this year and so far I have 3 secrets from various people that I've managed fairly well to keep secret. Boyfriend and Nae both laugh over my big mouth and commiserate with each other about how their embarrassing moments are never kept private. Oh, and I really talk how I write; there are constant asides that I go off on (just like in these parenthesis) and I'm sure it's hard for the average listener to follow along with, but I get so excited and sidetracked and caught up in details. Though I am a fairly concise speaker when I need to be, like in front of the class because I wouldn't want to confuse the kids. I also talk a lot and it drives Boyfriend and my family crazy. They pretty much think "Do you ever draw breath?" but I can't help it. I've got a lot to say and limited time with my family so I gotta get a year's worth of talking out in 3 months and I can't help it if I get a sudden burst of energy or thing of something really awesome when Boyfriend and I get in to bed at night and just have to tell him before I can fall asleep! Sometimes I like to sit back and just listen, too, to everything that is going on around me.

10) I have a blankie. It's not one that I've had since I was born; my Mom got it for me the first Christmas after I moved to Australia. It's sky blue and has snowflakes and penguins on it (I love penguins...we call them pengoos, Boyfriend and I, is that lame in general? Is it lame couple's talk? Probably on both counts but at least we don't call EACH OTHER Pengoo or Snuggle Butt or whatever, right?). It's a little throw blanket and it's down. It's the best blanket to have on the plane cause it just covers me and means I don't have to use the icky airplane blankets (I've heard stories and you really don't want to use airplane blankets). It's also warm in winter and cool in summer and a great blanket to lay on the couch with. It's a security thing because it reminds me of my Mom and home and being loved and wrapped up in a big hug, but I'm not Linus from the Peanuts...I don't take it to work with me or school with me or hide it in my purse or drag it behind me at the shopping center, but it is nice to come home and throw it over me at the end of a long day or to throw over my shoulders at night in bed for just a little bit of extra warmth.

Ummmm, ok, so are you ever coming back again now that you know the dark, dark secrets of my soul? Do you think I'm a freak? Oh well, if you're reading my stuff, you'd might as well know the real me and not just some bright and shiny version. So in summary, I, Little D, am a bad flyer, angry in crowds, a vegetarian to get boys, a reformed OCDer, a concert/classic rock nerd, as well as a yearbook geek (though actually really cool/popular girls from my class were on yearbook), a hater of all school dances in memory minus Senior Prom, a big mouth who can't keep a secret and who talks until her face turns blue, and I'm Linus lite. Stick around if you dare. If not, I understand and it's been nice knowing you! Hah!

But really, things might start to get a bit more interesting around here over the next couple of months because we've got another Ikea trip planned for next weekend(really, this is exciting/interesting to me...we don't have a lot of fun stuff on the Coast, can you tell?) plus a wedding in Terrigal with the whole group, and I've just booked my trip home for the end of October and will actually be celebrating my first Halloween in 5 years! (I told Boyfriend today that we have to raise our kids, should there be any, in America because, really, it's cruel for kids to miss out on Halloween. It's not very big here, no costumes or trick-or-treating...how depressing and that means I won't have any kids' Halloween candy to raid some day!) In the meantime, Boyfriend and I have to decide whether or not we are keeping our little house to rent for the next year or whatever and if not, where we will store all of our stuff until I come back and we find a new place together. There will probably also be a recap of another tearful goodbye between Boyfriend and I, as well as a post to all of you in case I die on my flight home (remember Confession #1?) and then a recap of the crazy people I was forced to sit next to on my flight to San Francisco. Then the process of finding a job and hopefully working lots of hours until Christmas and then Boyfriend coming to California and all of our adventures there this year. There will probably be an influx of posts about me suddenly wondering why I miss my family so much while I'm in Australia because they drive me nuts when I'm home (Mom and Dad and Nae actually had this conversation when they were out to dinner the other night..."I will love being home for a week and then I will hate everyone" haha). I'll also probably have lots of pictures and recipes to share soon because I cook a lot for my parents when I go back home (mostly because they are pretty bad cooks, sorry Mom and Dad but you know it's true, Nae would agree) and Nae is a pretty awesome chef and baker, as well, so I'll share her awesome Thanksgiving and pie and lemon bar and cookie recipes. So keep checking back in and if these posts aren't exciting enough for you guys, then remember you can email me or leave me a comment on what you would like to see me write about instead.

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

Have you guys ever watched this show? The acting is horrible, the story line is horrible, the messages it portrays are horrible...but I can't stop watching this train wreck! Basically, the story goes that the chick in the picture has sex one time (at band camp, no less) and gets knocked up. She's, also, only 15. She decides to keep the baby and along the way gets married to some dorky boy (still at age 15) from her class who she's dated for all of about 3 weeks. I guess on the season finale, she had the baby.

I was out of the loop, having only seen this show once at Nae's house with her, Boyfriend, and the Camp Counselor, and then a few more times at Mom and Dad's with Nae. I saw that the show was coming back last week and decided to start watching it again. On the first episode of the season some ultra-Christian girl decides to lose her V-card to her college boyfriend. She tells her parents of her plans and they are unhappy. She isn't on speaking terms with her Dad in the episode because of her sex plans and she doesn't speak to him before he's off on a week long business trip. She ends up having sex that night and of course her Dad's plane ends up crashing and he is killed without her speaking to him. Her Mom comes home crying and the girl says, "Don't worry Mom, I just had sex." And then her brother with Down Syndrome yells at her that she's killed their father by having sex.

Ummmmm, awesome! Hahaha, so basically the message of this whole entire tv show is anytime you have premarital sex you are going to F* up your life in a big way....you're either going to get pregnant or kill your Dad. How did her having sex bring that plane down I wonder? I had to stop watching the second episode of the season to post this because they are still going on about how she killed her Dad by having sex. And now they are also blaming her friend who is sexually active for making "sex look like fun so Grace would want to do it, too." Really, Secret Life, really?!? This show makes my blood boil because of it's stupidity and the messages it sends to teenagers and yet I still can't stop watching it. Yes, I think you should be in a committed relationship and use birth control before you start having sex, but everytime you do "it" someone's not going to die and you wouldn't get knocked up if you had proper education about birth control. As an adult, I can laugh about this dumb show and the hysteria it perpuates about teen sex, but if I was watching this as a teenager, I'd be really scared about having sex (even more scared than I already was from my Catholic religious education on sex) and I guess that's their goal?

But hey, here's an idea....more education, less hysteria!!! Abstinence Only Education is not working and has not worked. Let's empower kids with knowledge. Kids are horny, they are going to have sex for the most part anyway, so let's give them the education where they know how to do it safely and so that they know where to get help and what kind of help is available to them if they do get in to trouble along the way.

I've got my fingers crossed (but won't hold my breath) that one of the adults on the show finds some sense and tells this chick that having sex does not bring down planes. How would the mile high club exist if it did?

Last Night I Dreamt You Called Part 3

Ok, so I think last time we left off on the Costa Rica story Overindulged Asshole, Bran, and his random friend had told Dick, Doug, and the Nice Guy that they were bailing on the trip set up the next day to Witch's Rock...

I don't know how or why I got involved; probably because I've got a big mouth and a bad attitude and was just sick of how O.A. constantly acted like an asshole who's every whim had always been indulged but I did get involved. I decided that I would go on the boat trip, but I thought it was fair that the 3 boys make up for the other 2 unpaid spots left on the boat between the 3 of them. So I walked over to their room and asked them for the money. We said that it was fine that they didn't want to go, but they had said they would so they needed to fulfill their monetary responsibility. They basically told us to F* Off that they weren't paying for it. Things started to get pretty heated as we argued back and forth about the money. It finally came out that the boys had been sneaking off each night to drink and get high in Tamarindo and had basically spent most of their money. I don't think I knew about it up until them and it really pissed me off and I yelled and O.A. about how could he be so sheisty and pull that shit after Mr. G had been so great to him (tutored his dumb ass, wrote him a letter of recommendation to UC Santa Cruz, and really just treated him like a good friend). Mr. G was a young teacher and could've lost everything had one of those dumb boys gotten hurt or arrested while in Tamarindo, unbeknownst to him. O.A. yelled out "Fuck Mr. G" Nice Guy, Dick and I gave up at this point and walked back to the bar and decided that we'd still go the next day, even though it was shitty that we'd all have to pay more.

When we got back to the bar, Mom told us we needed to go back to our room and stay there for the rest of the night. Mr. G had gone to his room to get something and was walking back to the bar and had overheard our whole conversation with the 3 boys...the talk about sneaking out of camp, doing drugs and drinking, and the part where O.A. said "Fuck Mr. G" The male chaperones were now going to go confront them and search their room for drugs. On top of that all, then the Mass Murderer started acting really creepy and aggravated and I think he was talking about knives he had brought or something like that.

The chaperones went up to the room and the boys were very adamant that their room not be searched. I think that we had signed a behavioural contract though, granting permission to let our rooms be searched. The boys started arguing with Photo Larry, Doug, and Mr. G and said they were packing up their stuff and leaving. I think a pipe was found and tiny bit of pot in a baggie or something, but true to their word, the boys took off into the night. When we got up to go on the boat trip in the morning, they weren't there.

We tried to put it out of our head and started the long drive to where we would meet the boat. It was an overcast day and it was fun to get out and see more of the Costa Rican countryside. We got on the boat and set out on our trip. First, we went to Ollie's Point (named after a guy in a drug bust or something that had taken place there a few years back or something) and I can't remember if the boys got out for a surf there or not. Then we chugged over to Witch's Rock. The waves were alright, but it was creepy because there was no one else there, there was a river mouth which meant you had to be on the lookout for crocs, and because it was overcast the water was really dark and you couldn't see through it. To top it all off, as we were about to jump off the boat, the boat driver's assistant said that whale sharks are found in the area and they've had people chased back to the boat by them!! That was not what I wanted to hear but I sucked it up and jumped into the water. I think I lasted about 15-20 minutes tops out in the water there. I'm not sure I even caught any waves before I had psyched myself up so much that I had to get out. The only problem was that the boys were still down to surf and the boat was probably at least 100 yards further out then the surf line so I had to get back out there some how. Dick, being Nice Guy's younger brother and a nice guy in his own right, paddled me back out to the boat then paddled back in for a surf. I sat on the boat, content to watch the guys and take pictures of them and the Rock, which had incredible texture to it up close.

After the boys were finished surfing, we had a long ride back to the car. The wind was up a bit and causing little ripples on the water's surface and so it was a bumpy ride back and my butt was so sore when it was all over. From there, we drove back to the surf camp and had to pack, as we were leaving the next day.

The 3 boys still weren't back the next morning as we got ready to leave. We drove all day to get back to the airport and they weren't at the airport either. Mr. G had gotten in touch with O.A. and Bran's families and I think Bran's Dad had talked to Bran and told Mr. G that the boys weren't going home with us, but would catch a flight a few days later. He also said he wanted to see Mr. G very soon to discuss the situation.

We got on to the plane and were basically the only people on it so we went a bit nuts at first...the boys adorned most surfaces with our team's sponsor's stickers. Right after or right before we hit Mexico City we hit really bad open air turbulence. I've never been in it so bad and Bren had never flown before this trip and was wide awake and nervous about it, too, so I went back and sat with him for a few minutes, just to distract the both of us from what was going on. We survived it, but I think that flight is one of the reasons that I hate to fly now. We got home and made it through Customs and then Dick shows me how he has managed to bring back Cuban cigars without getting caught...these boys-scandalous! But oh well, at least those would've just been confiscated, I don't think he would've really gotten in to any trouble and at least it would've been an American holding cell he would've been placed in if it was serious and not a Costa Rican one!

The next week or two weeks later and Mom went with Mr. G to meet Bran's Dad to discuss the trip. Mr. G had already been copping crap from O.A.'s family, including his fat, disgusting uncle(think of Humpty Dumpty, the egg, complete with the rosy red cheeks and all, that's what this man looked like) who was the head basketball coach at our high school and who happened to have a bit of sway in the school, threatening to get Mr. G fired because of the stupid choices the boys had made. Bran's Dad was a little more reasonable and was mad at the choices his son made, but was also angry that the boys had been able to sneak away. Mom stood up for Mr. G and said he had done everything he could to keep us all safe and that we had signed behaviour contracts so all us kids knew what was expected of us. In the end because the boys' had graduated and because we weren't a school-sponsored group (the school never wanted the liability of a surf team, so we were technically a boy scout troop who's members just happened to all come from the one school), there was nothing the school could do to punish Mr. G, nor do I think they should have, even if we had been a school-sponsored group.

The aftermath of the situation was that I felt like Mr. G wasn't as stoked on the surf team. He still did it and he eventually got over it, but I think he was very let down by those boys. I'm not sure he ever spoke to any of them again and the little bitches that they were, I'm sure they never tried to apologize for their actions; I get the feeling like they felt they were in the right the whole time. Mr. G took another group to Costa Rica the next summer, this time with a whole lot less drama (though a whole lot less waves too as there was no swell for the whole trip) and he continues to take his surf team from his new school on twice yearly surf trips.

Setting the Scene

It's 1am, Saturday morning and I can't get to sleep...Boyfriend is up in Queensland now for his cousin's wedding and I was too poor to go. Tomorrow I'm taking Boyfriend's Mom out to dinner and a movie for Mother's Day since she didn't go to the wedding either. Happy Friday to everyone back home!

I thought that before I could tell the Costa Rica story I'd better introduce some of the characters from it.

Mr. G: Our faithful surf coach...always the first in the water, no matter what the conditions. At 6 am on a freezing and windy Saturday with little to no swell this guy would try and get us pumped on the surf conditions...a bunch of too cool 16 and 17 year olds are generally "blah" about the world to begin with and throw in someone with a passion for something and there is going to be some snickering/not appreciating of the stoked attitude of that person. He is an amazing surfer and all around good guy. He moved up to Santa Cruz right around the time Nae did, as he had also gone to school there previously, and he reconnected with an old friend and they fell in love and she is now his wife and she is gorgeous and an awesome person and they've got a cute little toddler now (who ran around our house with no pants on at Christmas and who fell in love with my Dad for letting him eat cupcakes before dinner and who was freaked out by Madagascar cause he doesn't have a tv out his house to watch...and who can already speak and understand both German and English and point out Venus in the sky....can you tell that I love this kid?!) and another baby on the way. He's grown on me over the years...I think he mellowed out a bit and I grew to appreciate his positive outlook way more and now we are friends rather than teacher/student and I am very glad that we have kept in contact with him and just wished I would've appreciated that stoked attitude back in the day, too.

Me and Nae: The only two girls on the surf team. I didn't compete, though Nae did...I hate competition plus there's not a girl's bodyboarding division so I just free surfed. Not only were we the only girls on the team, we were some of the youngest people on the team and when we first joined I couldn't drive so we became dependent on various people to give us rides to and from the beach. We weren't there for the boys at all; we both genuinely enjoyed surfing and getting to go on trips for cheap, but it was an awesome perk as I mentioned in another post to be surrounded by all the cutest boys from school. Even though I wasn't a fantastic bodyboarder and Nae wasn't as good of a surfer then as she is now, it gave us some credit with people at school...the boys, although maybe they didn't like us for the most part as friends or otherwise I think appreciated the fact that we were out there trying and were there to surf and not to flirt with them.

John Wayne's Grandson: A really nice kid and a really good bodyboarder. He wasn't "cool" and he was the youngest person on the team so he got picked on a bit by the older boys, but handled it well.

The Artist: I didn't know him very well, he seemed nice enough and he seemed pretty quiet. I think basically he was just a big hippie. He had a painting of a duck on his surfboard that he called quacklepuss...this duck would eventually become our team mascot and the name of our surf team....Team Quacklepuss!

The Mass Murderer: I can't even remember this guy's real name or if he was a good surfer or not. I don't remember him really being on the team or doing much with us, other than being on the trip. He was cute in a whitetrash sort of way. I mention him just because he comes up in the C.R. story at some point.

Bren: Good bodyboarder, hottest guy at school in my opinion. I don't remember seeing him at all in my freshmen/his sophmore year but I spotted him and the "custom x" writing on his bag probably in the first week of my sophmore/his junior year. He was a nice guy, again, another quiet one. He liked to do some stuff by himself and I don't think he tried that hard to be cool...I think it was him, though it might have been the artist, that was given the nickname "the Lone Wolf" on the trip, no idea what happened to him

Bran: he was a surfer, Nae was in love with him, he was really short, he played football for awhile too before he gave up cause I just don't think he was motivated about life in general. He is a key player to some of the drama in the C.R. story so remember him. Also, the one thing I remember about him is that he had a really pretty and popular girlfriend his senior year and she asked him to prom or some dance or something wearing a whipped cream "bikini" ala Varsity Blues! I'm sure it was hot for him, but I'd be straight up embarassed if I was that chick, knowing that the whole school knew you liked to get naked and cover yourself in food for your boyfriend. I sometimes wonder if they are still together...I wonder how many times he's cheated on her if they are...he just seems like the type looking back, although at the time he seemed nice enough

Overindulged Asshole: was my carpool for awhile, but wasn't too great of a carpool. I remember one afternoon it was raining but we decided to hit up the beach after school anyway. It was a bust and nothing was surfable so we decided not to paddle out. Well Asshole has me, Nae, Bren, and Bran with him and Bran lives right near him and Bren, Nae and I all lived fairly near each other and not that far out of his way...we were out of luck anyway. Asshole dropped us at some random Carl's Jr and said "good luck getting home" basically. I don't think we had a cell phone and my mom was out of town and dad was still working nights and sleeping during the day at this point so we couldn't get a hold of anyone. Finally, Dad came and got us (but not before having dinner at Carl's Jr, cause really how we he miss an opportunity for that, haha). This guy was kinda cute, I had a crush on him for about .5 seconds, but then would be grossed out hearing him talk about all these (younger) girls he dated and how all he wanted to do was put it in their butts. Keep him in mind, too, you know with a name like Overindulged Asshole he's going to bring the dramz...

The Nice Guy: best smile ever, seriously just a nice, fun guy, was the only one who really wanted to be friends, although one day we did get in a fight because I had hit a dog right outside of school before starting the day and he came up and teased me about it at lunch and made me cry, but he apologized. Anyway, yeah, a great guy I'd say. He works for/helped start a surf company that is getting big in Orange County and apparently sells at a shop in Costa Rica now, too (http://www.tavik.com/)

Dick: not named because he was one, that was just what he was called...before the Team Quacklepuss name got finalized, we were nearly going to be called "Dick and his boys", before Mr. G said it wouldn't be cool to Nae and I because we weren't boys, we didn't mind we thought it was funny, he was a nice kid, too, younger-in Nae's class, and he was fun to be around, as well

K.C.: I had met in Spanish class the year before and became fast friends with. He was nice and fun and made Spanish class fly by. He's still seems to be a really nice guy and goes on mission trips to build houses (and surf) and stuff. My mom had him in her car in C.R. and really liked him, too. He was nice to everyone and the type of kid who could get on with grown ups.

D.Mini: Also in my class and good friends with the guy Bun liked at the time. He was a super stoner and always getting in to trouble at home. His family situation seemed a bit weird and he came and lived with us for a few days (maybe it was only 1, I can't remember now) one summer because things were going on at home. He longboarded and was just a random, fun guy.

Photo Larry: Professional Photographer, looks like the main guy from the movie Powder, but is so cool and could totally kick your ass if he wanted to, funny guy, good guy, takes great photos and has/had an awesome girlfriend that came along on the trip, too, and kept Mom company

Doug: Friend of Mr. G, chaperone on the trip, friend of Bun's older brother I think, didn't see him again after C.R. but would've liked to as he was pretty cool

The trip story might have to wait til Monday, we'll see what happens with the rest of my weekend, but now that you know the characters, it'll be easier to write the story.

Happy Mother's Day Mom...I know you'll eventually read this one :) I miss you and love you heaps!

A Teenage Suicide/ Before I Go/ This is Not an Exit

I remember the first time I was affected by suicide. We had a morning surf practice and then we were going to have a tour of the local surf museum and like none of the guys showed up. I thought it was pretty rude, but figured they must have just had a big night before. We were walking through the surf museum when either the surf coach or one of the few guys that had shown up got a call. All the guys were over at Fabio’s house because is older brother had killed himself. I wasn’t friends with Fabio; I don’t think I had ever even spoken to him. My sister knew him because he was dating her best friend’s older sister. One of my friends from class was best family friends with his family and I knew that he, JB, would be very upset. They are pretty tacky and touristy now, but I remember that the surf museum had St. Christopher necklaces for sale as he is supposed to be the patron saint of stuff to do with water. Anyway, I picked one up for Fabio just to say someone is still looking out for you right now and sent it and a card to him. We went to the funeral and it was heartbreaking. The crowd was huge, standing room only and it was a very big church. This young man must have been really well liked and yet he had felt all alone in the world.

The boys on the surf team were in to Unwritten Law and used to play a few of the songs obsessively. Nae and I couldn’t drive at the time so we’d get rides to school after practice with the boys and it was there that I heard them and liked the songs they’d play on repeat so I got the CD and "Teenage Suicide" was one of the songs on there. That was a pretty rough song to hear at the time, but the killer for me was "Before I Go". Even though I didn’t really know Fabio and I had never met his brother, I just imagined what both of them had/were feeling and the song broke my heart.

Fast forward two years. I’m sitting at our dining room table trying to write my final paper ever for my AP English class when the phone rings. It’s this girl, who went to my high school and I had gone to grade school with; we used to be friends but ran in different groups once we got to MD. She was kinda crying I think when she said, “Noah has been shot; he’s dead.”

(When we were little Noah and I lived across the street from one another. We weren’t best friends, but we were close and did lots of stuff together. We had one of the only pools in the neighborhood so Noah and his brothers and sister would come over and swim. We also used to carpool together and I remember one day his parents couldn’t take us to school but I didn’t know that, my parents had left for work, and Noah and his older brother held me "hostage" because they didn’t want me to call my babysitter and ask her for a ride. I was sneaky and got to the phone though and I remember Noah’s big brother was pretty upset when a ride showed up to take us to school. Also, when we were in Kindergarten, Noah and I decided he should have a pool, too, so we spent an afternoon trying to dig one in his backyard. After grade school, Noah ended up at another local Catholic high school and I didn’t see him for nearly four years, until one afternoon when I went to pick up Nae from water polo, he was there running at the track. That had been earlier this same year and the last time I would see him.)

I started crying and said, “What are you talking about? That’s crazy.” The girl didn’t have any details so we hung up. I came outside where my Dad was watering the lawn or something and was hysterically crying at that point. He started yelling at me “What’s wrong, what’s wrong?” He was worried that something had happened to my Mom or sister because neither was at home. I told him about Noah. I went inside and called my Mom at work and she said, “Listen, it’s just a rumor at this point, there are no facts, just pray that that’s what it is, a misunderstanding, a rumor.” So I prayed and prayed, but all the while thought “this probably isn’t a rumor, he’s probably dead, but why?” At this point it was still unclear that he had killed himself. I called my old friend Chiara, I think, it’s a little fuzzy how I got more details, but it was true. Noah was dead and he had done it to himself. After that, I had to drive over to our high school to pick up Nae from a swim meet. She could see that something was wrong and asked if she should drive me. She was probably thinking it was more drama to do with my loser exbf. When I told her about Noah, she burst in to tears. Nae was a pretty guarded and tough person at this time, I don’t think I had seen her cry in years, but here she was driving and crying and asking me to tell her about it. We finally heard from our other old neighbors that he had been upset or something and said he was going out, but he hadn’t really, he just got in his car. He ended up shooting himself in the driveway of his family’s house.

The next day at school I was a mess. His rosary service was that night and somehow they were able to fix him up so he could have an open casket. I just went briefly up to see him and all I could think was that he looked exactly like his older brother, the one who had held me "hostage" all those years ago. The funeral was the next day and I think his whole class came to the funeral. We were about a month from graduating.

I became pretty deeply depressed. I had never lost someone that I loved. My friends hadn’t either so they didn’t know how to handle it and just didn’t talk about it. I cried myself to sleep most nights thinking about him. I remember writing him notes in my journal telling him how much he was missed and that I probably wasn’t the only one missing him this much and how I wish time could be turned back so he’d get a second chance to make the decision over again. I remember getting trashed the night before his birthday….I was at a concert with some friends and the loser exbf and I was underage. I passed out on the dance floor after busting some awesome dance moves, or so I’ve been told, I don’t remember dancing but I do remember laying on the ground. My friend Candy put me on a bar stool and told me not to move, of course I did. Some security guards found me and kicked me out. I threw up in some planters at Downtown Disney, just next to the "Happiest Place on Earth"- classy, I know. I also lost a thong and had to walk around with only one for the rest of the night. The next day me and some of the kids from our grade school class had a little graveside service for Noah. It was pretty painful to be at. I think for a good six months I was a mess because of it, but I tried to hide it from everyone. I still think about him now and I still visited his grave on his birthday and the day of his death when I lived in the area.

About a year and a half ago, I lost someone else to suicide. We called him Uncle B, but he wasn’t our uncle. As I got older, we used to call each other “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” and I know that sounds creepy considering I called him Uncle, but it wasn’t. Everyone thought I had a crush on him when I was little so he’d call me girlfriend to tease me and in the end it was pretty weird when he started dating someone who was only a little bit older than I was. Uncle B was this larger than life guy. He had a pretty sarcastic sense of humor and he was an asshole when he was in a bad mood, but when he was in a good mood he was on fire. He used to come over to our house all the time for dinner, just unannounced and say, “What are we having?” Very often now when I’m watching TV or a movie, someone will say something or do something and it totally reminds me of Uncle B. He left behind 3 kids and an ex-wife who was his best friend. It was really sad going back home knowing he’d never barge in to our house again or yell over the fence to us and call us Rugrats. He’s someone I will always miss and never forget. I know his son is still hurting about the loss of his Dad, he’s only in high school and it’s a rough time for any kid, and I wish I could take away some of his pain so he didn’t have to handle such a heavy load on his own. From the reports his mom gives us, sometimes I’m afraid he’s drowning in this pain and I wish that I could be there to help him swim awhile longer til it stopped hurting so much.

Even just writing this has brought back all the hurt and sadness over losing these two guys and has me crying. It doesn’t really get better, you just learn to live with it.

Life hurts so bad
Don't want you sad
Just look back to
Good times we had
I'd give my soul for you I know
Want to hold you before I go
Before I go
I need you to know
I'm still alive in you
It's my time to go
Don't stay up late
I'm not afraid
And I don't want your heart to break
I know I've seen what's been unseen
Live fast, die young
It's part of me

It Begins

In high school I was a pretty avid bodyboarder. Now, I’m not saying I was a good bodyboarder but I enjoyed it and went whenever I could and enjoyed the perks of being on my high school’s surf team (hanging out with the coolest boys in school, getting to travel for cheap, etc). I was acquaintances with lots of people at school and had a core group of friends, but I spent lots of time at home, too. My high school days were like the golden days of AOL, being online was still new and exciting to a degree. I was still amused by chat rooms (which, sidenote-do chat rooms still exist?) and I liked looking for member profiles of boys who were my age and also bodyboarded to chat to. One night as I was on looking at profiles, one popped up from a guy who was about a year older than me, who bodyboarded and lived in Australia. Nothing seemed more exotic at the time. So I IM’ed him. It was a friendly chat about surfing, wave conditions, and what life was like in Australia. Little did I know that that chat would set me on the course to my life that landed me in Australia today. S and I started talking a lot. We had so much in common and we didn’t ever run out of things to say. We talked for months online and then I got a boyfriend, but we still continued to talk, I’m sure even about the boyfriend, because while we might have liked each other online, S and I were still living real lives, as well. Over that year S sent me a few letters and we started talking a lot again when my boyfriend and I broke up. He even sent me this awesome letter that I still have and all these burned CDs of Australian bands he thought I’d like (though I didn’t listen to them because they had awful names…..Grinspoon anyone? Haha) before I went on a safari to Kenya. I even brought his letter with me to Africa and read it at night when I was bored. I also sent him postcards and picked him up a bracelet and an arrow from real Masai warriors on the trip. I had just lost a very good childhood friend to suicide and I was pretty mixed up at the time but S was so nice and seemed so perfect. I remember writing in my journal that I wished he and I lived closer so we could meet and see if we got along as well in person. After that, I got back together with my loser exboyfriend and S was cool enough to play along when he’d call as someone I met through one of the boy’s on the surf team, rather than a random internet friend so my loser exbf wouldn’t get mad. Childish games right, but whatever, I was 18. S and I lost contact for about a year there, but I still thought of him at times. Loser exbf and I fought all the time and eventually broke up (well like 4 times, back and forth, I was messed up at the time and thought I was in love for the first time, ok?) and although I had never wanted to go away to college or leave, what I thought was, my perfect life in Orange County, I decided I needed to move away for a change of pace. I was originally planning on doing a study abroad thing in London so I could experience a real winter and stuff, but then I remembered that I kindof knew someone in Australia and maybe he could help find a school to go to, plus the weather would be more what I was used to, plus our dollar was worth more down there, and plus it was freaking Australia. I searched through my room looking for S’s phone number or email address. I called his house and his Dad picked up and it was pretty awkward asking if S was home, he wasn’t. He spent most of his week at his friend’s place since it was closer to the university. So I left a message and a phone number and wasn’t sure if I’d hear back from S/the message would make it to him. I remember going in to see my Mom that night, as she always read in bed before going to sleep while my Dad watched TV, and telling her that I had contacted someone I knew from online about schools in Australia. She was excited, my parents are awesome and supported my decision to study abroad. I think it was the next night that S contacted me and we got the ball rolling….
More to come tomorrow!