Finding Home

Hello All (or Few),

When I last left off, I was newly married and still buzzing about our wedding and honeymoon.  Nine months on, I'm nearly out of the newlywed phase of our marriage and though the buzz of the wedding has faded a bit, whenever I think about that weekend or see pictures, I can't help but smile because it truly was one of the best times of my life and we were so blessed to have so many people from Australia and the U.S. there to celebrate with us.

I can't believe how quickly the time has flown by!  I feel like a lot has happened and like not a lot has changed...(I feel like anyone reading this probably knows me and so this rundown will be old news so skip ahead if you'd like to)

-At Christmas, we adopted two rescue dogs- Diggie and Kona.  They are a lot of hard work and generally pains in our asses, but I love having them.  They bring a lot of joy to our lives and make our house feel like home and like MOTH and I have started a real, little family.

 Bruno now named Diggie.

Kona's name was Jazzy.  Here she is with the wonderful lady who rescued her.

-MOTH celebrated his 30th in March.  We rented a beach house for the weekend and all of our friends stayed over with us.

-We are both still at our same jobs.  I got a (temporary?) promotion (still waiting on the raise portion of it, though, so essentially doing more work and have more responsibility for same, meagre pay).  In talks with my boss now whether I like the role and want to stay in it or whether I want to go back to more student services involvement.  She is away for three weeks starting today so I am in charge of the office.  My sister called me a dictator and I think Little D the Dictator has a nice ring to it!  The commute is killing me still and a lot of the time on the weekend I feel like I just want to hang at home to recover from the week.  We are thinking that we will move a bit closer to the city at Christmas time when our current lease is up.

-In about 2.5 months we are headed to South Africa to visit my sister and do some travelling with my parents and some of their friends from their neighborhood.  I can not wait to go!  I've been wanting to go back to Africa for 11 years now, ever since I left Kenya after a graduation trip I took there with my family and a bunch of family friends.  We are spending a few nights in Cape Town and are going to see the area where Nae and her boyfriend, PB&J, live, go to the top of Table Mountain and out to Robben Island, and visit the penguins.  We are then going to drive through the wine country to Mossel Bay where we will stay a few nights with PB&J's parents and hopefully shark dive and visit Cango Wildlife Ranch where we will be able to pet cheetahs and tigers (obviously not native) and ride ostriches.  From there we will go to J-Bay, a world famous surf spot, for the night and then head to Port Elizabeth where we will make our way by boat up a river to a private game reserve and we will be on safari for 4 days there.  Following that, we will fly to Jo-burg for a night for a morning flight to Zimbabwe where we hope to do a walk with lions and where we will visit Victoria Falls.  Typing that out, I get even more excited as it sounds like such an incredible adventure and I'm so lucky to be experiencing it soon.  We have no idea what to do with the dogs, though, so that is causing a bit of stress.  MOTH's parents aren't really dog people.  They said they'd take the dogs, but they wouldn't walk them and with us being away for 16 days, I don't think that's right.  His brother can't take them either because his yard does not have a fence.  The place we boarded them at for the weekend of MOTH's birthday is great but is $50 a calendar day per dog so we'd be looking at $1800 for them to stay there (I can do math-we'd have to drop them off the day before we leave and wouldn't get home in time to pick them up before the place closes the day we land in Sydney so they'd be there for 18 calendar days).  We are hoping one of his cousins will come through and want to house sit for us.  We'd pay them a decent amount, but still save considerably from the $1800 for the boarding place.  At the end of the day, though, we will spend that money if need be because they will get fed twice a day, get walked twice a day, and live in a nice area with other dogs to play with.

-Because we have not taken any leave since we got back from the wedding and because I was only allowed to take 2 weeks off for the South Africa trip (against Aussie law, but I won't get in to all that here) we will have a decent amount of leave accrued for next year.  We are hoping to go to Oahu/Kauai/one other island for my 30th at the end of February and beginning of March and then go back to CA to celebrate my Mom's 60th at the end of June/beginning of July.  I can't wait to get back to CA and can't believe that trip is still nearly a year away.

Anyway, that's the general update.  I didn't add it to the list above because it is still in the conceptual phase, but we are moving back to California.  This probably won't be for about two years and there are a million things we need to do and figure out before then (ex. me file my US taxes for the time I've been here, save lots of money, figure out whether to have a baby here or there, etc., etc.) but we are at least starting to think about these things.  I'm not sure that MOTH is ready now nor am I sure that he will ever be ready but he can see how down I am here so he is willing to take the plunge for me.

I've been in Australia just shy of 8.5 years now and I am ready to move home.  And that's the thing, for me, California is home, has always been home, and will always be home.  While I think Australia/NSW is great; I still feel like the odd man out here.  The lifestyle on the Central Coast is very different from the lifestyle I grew up with.  For a while, in my early 20s, I wanted to escape that, to experience something other than living behind the "Orange Curtain", but then my parents moved out of Orange County and up to Santa Cruz and I think I saw some of the best that California has to offer there and when MOTH and I visit them now I think to myself, "Yep, this is it."  I envy people who can make home anywhere they happen to be.  I have tried that, but for me home is where the people I love live.  And yes, I do love MOTH with most of my heart, but the other parts belong to my Mom and Dad and to my sister and to the family friends who felt like actual family growing up and I miss them and I don't like that MOTH feels like he has to make up for their absence.  It's not fair to him, but I don't think it's fair to me either to continue to live in Australia indefinitely.

I will look fondly back on my time in Australia when I get to California, I'm sure.  It might be a "grass is always greener" scenario and I'll miss Australia and want to come back or MOTH might hate living in the States after a bit so we may just end up in Australia still.  But I/we won't know that until we give it a go and move there and give ourselves time to settle in.  I have met some amazing people here and have made some lifelong friendships.  I came here with that goal of creating and maintaining healthy friendships and relationships and I am happy that I have accomplished this.  I also wanted a big adventure and for part of my time here, I feel like I did have one, but now, what was once adventure has become everyday life so I'm ready for the next chapter and for a new adventure to begin.

Until next time, whenever that may be.

One More Day to Leave it All Behind To Go Where You Have Never Even Tried

Image Source

So welcome back to the roller coaster that is my mind and my emotions. Today you find me in a good mood and my spirits high. I am on the final day of a 5 day long weekend and I only have 3 more days left at work before I am off for a whole month!

MOTH Dude and I have spent the weekend cleaning, doing laundry, gardening, visiting friends and family and catching up on much needed sleep and our favorite TV shows.

We are both nearly giddy at the thought of our upcoming travel plans! Saturday we are having a van pick us up and then we are off to SYD to catch our JetStar flight to Honolulu. We arrive at about 6:30am Saturday morning where we will head through customs and then catch a flight to Kauai where we will meet up with my Mom and Dad. From there we will head to our favorite condo ever (see image above, it's called Whalers Cove and it's in Poipu) and spend 8 days snorkeling, tanning, stand up paddle boarding, and hanging out.

After that we head to San Francisco for a few days where we plan on walking over the GG Bridge again, eating at our favorite restaurants, doing some shopping, meeting with a potential wedding photographer, and hitting up an SF Giants baseball game-MOTH's first ever!

After San Francisco, we will head down to Santa Cruz to hang out, visit potential wedding spots, meet our wedding coordinator, hang with some of my parents' really fun and nice neighbors, beach walk, meet other potential wedding vendors, and eat at all of our favorite places. Bun and Markie may also come up for a visit so we can show them around and so that they can finally experience staying in the awesome pool house at Mom and Dad's.

We are also planning on a very quick road trip down to Orange County to meet with our other potential wedding photographers, as well as to visit my Gma and ask my Godfather to be our wedding officiant!

We have so much to do in the three weeks we will be back in California and I really want to get as much wedding stuff nailed down as possible because it may be the last time we/MOTH Dude will be there before the wedding (eeeek!). I'm sure we will be coming back from our trip as worn out as when we left, but in a good way. I can't wait to meet all the people who are potentially going to make our wedding day so special. I also can't wait to see how much all of this is going to cost us. I am sure we are in for some sticker shock!

I really wish Nae could be with us in Kauai and for wedding planning since she's my Maid of Honor (or as I like to call her, the Maid of Horror since she thinks I'm going to be a bridezilla, haha), but she is swamped with tracking sharks and working on her dissertation so I am hoping that MOTH Dude and I (or at least I) can get back at Christmas time when she is planning on a visit.

In other news, my sister who is not really my sister, aka the Camp Counselor is going to be watching the pets while we are in Kauai. She is then leaving with her real family for a trip to Australia the day after we get in to Santa Cruz and as (bad) luck would have it, she'll be arriving back to the U.S. on the day that MOTH and I arrive back to Sydney! I can't believe the timing of it!

Stay tuned for all the exciting (at least to me) updates and photos.

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E

Image via http://travelcuts.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/mickey_minnie_disneyland.jpg

Sorry I've been M.I.A. again for a few days, but I've been visiting the happiest place on Earth! Boyfriend and I traveled down to Orange County to meet up with some of his friends from Australia who have been staying in Park City, Utah and the husband has been working as a ski instructor. It was a big three days as we drove for 7 hours Monday, saw my Grandpa who had just been admitted to the hospital, then took Boyfriend's friends to dinner at this Mexican food place in Santa Ana that my family has been going to since my parents were teenagers. Tuesday we got up and did Disneyland and California Adventures all day and then hung out with Bun's family that night. It was so nice to be with them all again because I used to spend a lot of time at their houses and it felt like old times and really comforting to just be hanging with them and listening to their funny stories again. Wednesday we got up and the friends met us in Huntington Beach, where we had breakfast at the best local place, Sugar Shack. We then walked down to Jack's, where I used to work, and I actually saw someone who worked there when I did and had been good friends with and we had a good chat and gossip session and I also got to chat with one of the owners and congratulate him on how well the business was doing (they have opened 2 new stores since I've left and there is another one opening later this year). We then walked out on the pier and saw schools of fish, some dolphins, and a sealion. The weather was incredible the whole time we were there: it's the middle of winter and it was about 74 degrees! Watching the surfers and how clean the water looked (for once), I got the biggest urge to be out there surfing with my sister again. I would love to be there for a week in summer to do just that with her...maybe someday. We then took PCH up to Crystal Cove State Beach and Boyfriend and the friends got shakes from the Shake Shack (we seem to have lots of "shacks" around, don't we?) and then it was time for us to take off. Boyfriend had picked out a skateboard earlier in the day so we rushed back to Huntington to pick that up and then we got driving. It took us about 7 hours to get home and we were exhausted when we pulled in at about 10:20 last night. Since then, I've heard the coyotes run past our house late last night and we had a 4.1 earthquake rattle the house this morning. I'm just about to head out with Dad and Boyfriend to the campground to do some "treasure hunting", my first time this whole trip!

E.T.A.: Does anybody else find it creepy when couples take their honeymoon at Disneyland? If while planning our wedding my fiance suggested Disneyland/world/a Disney cruise a big red flag would go off in my head. Honeymoons are for laying on the beach and making sweet, sweet love not walking around in silly mouse ears and getting autographs from Chip and Dale and Princess Jasmine!

There's a Baby, Yes, There's a Baby About to be Born

This picture really has nothing to do with this post (Boyfriend took it on our trip to Yosemite the first year he was here) but it's a great shot and looks wintery and it's Christmas, damnit, so it kind of works, right?

Unless we've missed the text with the birth announcement, Soccer Player and the Hairdresser are still awaiting the birth of their baby. I'm hoping now that the Hairdresser has gone over her due date, she won't have to go camping with the newborn on Boxing Day (or as soon as it's born if it's after that day), as was previously planned. All of our friends who have had babies so far have tried to tell her that camping with a brand new baby is not where you want to be when you've just gotten out of the hospital and are trying to figure out how to be a mom still, but the Hairdresser is a trooper and up til now has said she is going. I can't wait to hear what they've had and what they've named it and I can't wait to buy it a "Welcome to the World" outfit here to bring back with me. I wonder if she's in labor, as I write this, and is having a Christmas baby? That'd be pretty neat, but probably not the most fun Christmas the Hairdresser would ever have! Anyway, I'm sending my love and my prayers down to you guys. I hope that it is a quick and painless delivery and recovery and Boyfriend and I can't wait to meet the new little guy or girl when we are back.

In other news, Mom and Dad both got sick last week and are still getting knocked around by it. We're pretty sure that Mom has come down with the Swine, while Dad's cold or flu seems to be different. They had a not so successful, but very stressful, trip down to Orange County last weekend to see my grandparents. If you read the last post (Runaway Train) about the situation, the update is nothing has changed and it has actually gotten a lot worse. Not only is my Grandpa on a quick downhill slope, to the point where my Mom thinks we'll be having a funeral before I go back in February, but now my Grandma is falling apart, too. She's gotten in two accidents in two different cars, side swiping a total of 5 cars, in two consecutive Wednesday nights! My Mom is understandably upset by what is going on, but on both trips she's taken to see them my grandparents have ignored the help she's offered so there's not much for her to do. The light at the end of the tunnel is that my Mom has found an assisted living place in Stockton that has apartments on site that allow the tennants to keep a small animal. My Grandma's brothers all live in Stockton and we've been saying for a few years now that she and my Grandpa should move of up there so they have more people to hang out with so once he passes away we think Grandma should take her dog and move to this facility. It's a good option because she is still capable of living mostly on her own for now and she can still keep her dog, but if and when she declines, she can then move in to the main part of the facility that offers more round-the-clock care. I think she really misses her brothers and this way she can see them more often, too.

Happy Holidays, right?

Other than that, our little 5some of me, Boyfriend, Mom, Dad, and Nae are looking forward to spending Christmas together. I've had all my Christmas shopping done for a few days now and only have a few things left to wrap. Boyfriend is stressed because lots of his online ordered presents haven't arrived yet. Nae is at work now (Trader Joe's) and has a taco eating contest with her coworkers and then she's coming over to make Christmas cookies and spend the night. Boyfriend and I said way back in October that we'd like to try and make gnocchi for Christmas Eve dinner so we'll get that under way this afternoon and hopefully take some good pictures for you guys and I'll post up the recipes. Nae's in charge of the food tomorrow and she's making some kind of roast beast, yorkshire pudding, homemade ice cream, and other stuff so I probably won't fit in to any of my new Christmas clothes after the 24 hours of eating I'm about to undertake! The weather here is bright and sunny and the air is crisp so I think we'll probably get up and do presents tomorrow morning and then go for a family walk and then just hang out for the rest of the day. I like having a mellow Christmas like that.

What about you? Is all your shopping and wrapping done? Are you having a mellow or a stressful Christmas Eve/Day?

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas! Hope you get everything you've asked for and more!

Runaway Train

What do you do when someone you care about is making really awful decisions for themselves? Do you step in? When? I am a firm believer in letting people do what they want because they are going to do it anyway. That's not to say that I won't offer an opinion or advice when asked, but I have found it to be true that people are going to do what they want and aren't going to change until they are ready.

This is true for me with my weight. This is true for other people in bad relationships. And now this is true for my Grandpa and his drinking.

But what do you do when the person's awful decisions are putting them on a quick path toward death? That's where we are at with my Grandpa right now. We decided to step in because while it's crappy he's doing this to himself, it is also really affecting my Grandma and Uncle and my Mom. Plus, he is endangering other people because he boozes all day long then gets in the car to go out for drives! It's sad that he is killing himself, but it will be really unforgiveable if he kills someone when he is out on the road drunk. As unbelieveable as it may sound and as much as my Grandma hates my Grandpa's drinking, she defends his driving and says he is a really good driver. On the other hand, she can't explain how one of their afternoon drives turned in to them getting lost in L.A. for over 4 hours last week.

So anyway, that was the main point of our trip down to Orange County over the past 3 days. Grandpa knows the consequences of his drinking and doesn't want to change so we can't do anything about it, but my Grandma really appreciated our visit and that my Mom was there to help with things she thought needed to be done for their household. Mom was even able to get a home nurse in to assess their situation and hopefully get them the help they need to make life easier around the house. Mom also spoke to the nurse about the drinking and driving issue and she said she would speak to his main doctor who would contact the DMV to get his license revoked.

Although my Grandpa was a bit angry that we were there and didn't really want to talk to us the first two days we dropped in to visit, yesterday he seemed back to his old self. It was nice to sit and chat with him for awhile and I'm glad he came around to us being there as it is a much nicer memory to have of him than one of him ignoring us.

It's a really hard situation to be in. I feel bad for him, I feel bad for my Grandma, and I feel bad for my Mom and Uncle. There is no good end to this and I realize and accept that. I wish things could be different, but you can't change things and you certainly can't change people. Rather than think about my Grandpa as he is today, I am going to choose to think of him and what he was like when we were younger-the man who taught us how to fish and who used to take me and Nae down to this really cool beach in San Diego to look for moonstones.