This is the First Day of My Life Part 2 and Other Updates

After nearly 6 weeks of being back in California, MOTH and I fly out for Aus again on Thursday.  I know for some expats coming to the States is a jarring experience and they can't wait to get back to their new home country.  Not so for me- the pull of California grows stronger every time I come back.  Nae and her boyfriend PB&J leave today for 30 fun hours of flying to South Africa- it makes our "long haul" trip back to Australia seem puny in comparison!

A minor technicality:  MOTH and I are actually not legally married yet.  That was a fun surprise to read in the mail last week!  There was a problem in how the marriage license was filled out and we got a letter last week letting us know it had been rejected.  We are so pissed at our wedding coordinator for not looking the form over before turning it in because she had said to us a few times that she would handle the paperwork after we stressed to her that our officiant, my godfather, had never performed a wedding before.  Consequently, when I went to get my new drivers license yesterday, I wasn't able to update to my married name so I am still Dana Old Last Name whereas I was hoping to be Dana Old Last Name New Last Name (no hyphen).

Oh, and by the way, I don't know about this whole being married thing anyway.  It seems so serious!  And referring to MOTH as my husband makes me want to throw up.  We have a family friend who is in her early 20s and she said she couldn't wait to call her husband her husband, but for me, I think I'd prefer to call MOTH my Boyfriend Who I Married.  I'm all for being with the guy forever and ever, amen, but I just hate the more serious title.  I never used "fiance" unless I thought I could get a deal or a freebie out of saying it and I don't want to now have to start using the word husband.

Obviously I really love MOTH and I really want to be married to him but I think this is all coming to the surface because MOTH is staring 30 square in the face and I'm not long behind him and I'm starting to worry about getting old and all the responsibility that comes with that. So being married is actually great but what being married means in relation to what stage I am at in life is pretty fucking terrifying. I can't be the only one who has felt that way, right?

I guess it was pretty timely then, when while on our honeymoon, MOTH and I met a couple who was celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary and they gave us some advice- they have 3 kids and 4 grandkids and they said the key to it all is to never get old, just keep having fun and acting young and you will be.  And I think they are on to something because about two weeks before our wedding, my parents celebrated their 36th wedding anniversary and I think part of the reason they've made it last for so long is that they follow that couple's advice, too, and haven't let themselves get old: just two days ago, we all went to the annual Bridge School Benefit and my parents totally rocked out to Jack White and Guns N Roses! I hope we're that cool at 60.

So to recap for the too long, didn't read crowd:  I'm unofficially married and afraid of getting old, but I've been told that as long as I don't act old I won't be old.  Here are some recent pictures to prove that I probably won't have any trouble with that:

 The Scorpion Bowl at my Bachelorette Party. LC asked them to make it extra strong for me and boy did I feel it the next day.  I couldn't even get any of my wedding related chores done and only really recovered in time for the Rehearsal Dinner!

 I wore wedges for the ceremony but after that I slipped in to some Cons to dance the night away in!

MOTH and I stayed at a cabin just down the street from my parents' place for a few nights after the wedding.  On our last morning, my family came to pick us up and we played in the kids play area for awhile. Here's a picture of me and my Dad having some fun!

This Is the First Day of My Life

On September 29th, after a 2 and a half year engagement, we finally did it!  We just got back from our honeymoon in Mexico yesterday and I now have about a week left with my sister before she and her boyfriend head back to South Africa and MOTH and I have 10 days left with my parents.  I will try and update more soon, but for now here is a sneak peek of the day:

This Winter is Lasting Forever, At Least for Tonight

Brrrrr!  Man oh man has it gotten chilly down here within the past few weeks!  It makes for a refreshing time standing on the train platform at 6:45 each morning.  Even after 7.5 years here, it still seems crazy to be this cold in July.  Everyone from back home is posting about beach days and their 4th of July plans and it makes me crazy jealous, but life around here is going well.

MOTH and I have been having some fairly mellow weekends.  We have become obsessed with this tv show, Sons of Anarchy.  We got through the first two seasons in two weekends so I told him we needed to take a break from it or we'd be all caught up to season 5, the current one, in no time.  We now have said we'll watch one season in July, one in August, then save one for the honeymoon in October. Have you guys seen this show?  It's about a fictional motorcycle club in Northern California.  I love the characters and the plotlines are always super intense.  My sister said she's been hooked on it since the beginning but I don't remember ever hearing about it before.  Anyway, it's one I'd definitely recommend.

We're lucky because our little house has a combustion stove heater and we've got a firewood connection by way of Steve's great uncle so nights when we are home early enough and on weekends we get it going and it makes the house so warm and cozy.  We pull out camping mattresses and eat dinner and watch Sons on my laptop in front of it.  I was home sick today from work-had the worst headache all weekend and thought I was getting a cold-and MOTH will be home early so I'm hoping he'll get the fire going for us because my nose is freezing right now.

We're back to eating low carb through the week as it's the only thing that really seems to help us shed the weight.  Dieting through winter sucks as all I want to do is eat comfort food!  But hopefully it'll pay off with a couple less pounds on the both of us in time for the wedding at the end of September.  If anyone has any low carb sites to recommend or any recipes to share, I'd appreciate it!

Friday was the 3 month to go mark....eeeee!!!  We're both really nervous but comfortable enough to say that to each other and we're both really, really excited.  The budget is a hot mess.  It's about 3x more than I had originally hoped to spend, BUT we can afford it, nothing is going on credit or anything.  It's just we were hoping to keep things low key and cheap.  The day will still be low key and no one will be able to tell we spent as much as we have because it's all going in to boring infrastructure type stuff...bringing in fancy portapotties, heating, lighting, hiring a shuttle since there's no parking, etc, etc.  Oh well, on the day I think we'll feel it was all worth it to have a really fun party with a lot of the people who mean the world to us.

We've sent out the invites over the past two weeks and it's been super exciting to get RSVPs back already.  So far there's only been yeses and I can't wait to get the full picture of who can make it and who can't. It's been a good mixture of people who have responded- my old surf coach and his wife, an old family friend, a neighbor, a bridesmaid, some people who live within 20 minutes drive of the venue, some who will have to drive 6 hours, some who will have to fly 15.  Let me tell you, there is probably nothing more flattering in life than having these wonderful people willing to give their time and their money to come share our special day with us.

The whole registry thing is really throwing us.  I've always thought doing the whole scanner gun thing that you see in movies looks fun but most people here do wishing wells where they straight up ask for money.  It's just a different cultural thing and I've told my friends here that that would go over like a lead balloon in the States, although in our situation money really would be easiest.  Because wishing wells are so popular here, no home stores or department stores have really set up registry systems and because we will have limit luggage space, we can't exactly register for a bunch of stuff back in California.  We finally found that a large department store called David Jones does do registries, but the system is a bit clunky- our guests can check our list and then they email DJ's their top 3 gift preferences (wtf?  I guess it doesn't get updated daily so their first pick might've already been bought) and then someone will email them back to tell them what gift they can buy and then they email back their credit card details.  And for the luxury of having this clunky system, they also have to pay $14 for registry upkeep and shipping and whatnot I guess.  I hope, if people want to give us a gift, they skip the hassle of this system and give us money as we will then go buy homegoods with them or put it towards our trip to visit Nae in South Africa next year, but Mom says some people just really, really like to give tangible gifts.  We'll be pleased with anything we do get.

Work has slowed down and gone in to this kind of groove that I'm getting the hang of.  In other words, I didn't sink!  Now that I'm in the groove though, it's nearly time for the whole process to start again and for us to start gearing up for the next intake of students.  Luckily this next semester will only be 70 students from two different schools as compared to the 160 students from 8 different programs we had in this round.  Because I know what to expect as far as work flow leading up to the next groups' arrivals, I feel much better prepared to handle it.  I think I'm doing a decent job and I like the women I work with.  Tomorrow I have my 3 month review and I think it will go well.  I have a list of things I feel I could've improved on from the last intake and a list of things I think I did well in.

With all that being said, MOTH is now home and it's time for me to warm my fingers and toes in front of the fire.  Good night!

Open Up the Tired Eyes

View from our table at our favorite restaurant

Well, I did it!  I got the job!  I start in about 2 weeks.  They pulled some strings and were able to get me all the leave I need off for the wedding and everything.  Although it's a substantial pay cut, I think this job will bring me more satisfaction and happiness and I'll finally put that degree I got to some use.  Plus, I hope that this job will start me on a great career path and it's the type of job that I could do anywhere in the world through any university, which is part of the reason I chose teaching in the first place.

I've taken a sick day today because I woke up with a headache and my ears have really been bothering me lately.  I'm going to the doctor's later today to have them check my ears and discuss an ongoing issue I've been having:  for the past 3-4 years a few days a month I get really nauseous or have other unpleasant stomach issues and up until now the few doctors I have seen have said it was probably a gluten allergy.  When I cut gluten out, my life wasn't magically transformed.  And believe me, I know it would've been since my Mom cut gluten at the same time I did and her stomach issues have all disappeared.  After telling some friends about my symptoms, two suggested it might be this other problem that is fairly common in women.  I'm hoping when I speak to the doctor today and suggest that this might be the cause of my problems, they will refer me on to the right person and I can finally get to the bottom of this. I wish I was the type of person who could just "chuck a sickie" but I have so many days off where I'm actually sick that there are never very many days left over to use because I just want to lay in bed and watch Revenge all day.  (P.S. Are you guys watching Revenge?  I know it's cheesy and girly, but I'm totally sucked in!)

I'm hoping that I'll be able to schedule in an appointment next week for a skin cancer check, too, since they also offer that service at the medical center I'm going to this afternoon.  I've never had one done and with my Mom's history of having skin cancers removed, my love of bronzing, and the intense Aussie sun, they'll probably find more than a few things to cut off of me.  I just hope they don't find anything serious.  MOTH has a few sketchy looking freckles and moles that I've been on him for forever to have looked at so hopefully my appointment will motivate him to get it done soon.

Speaking of my MOTH...the big man turns the big 2-9 on Saturday.  Tomorrow we are going out to dinner with his parents and his brother to our favorite restaurant on the water (see the picture at the top of the page).  Have I mentioned this place before?  To be honest, I'm too lazy to read back through my last few blog posts to see if I have so if I have, sorry for the repeat!  It's called Fisherman's Warf in Woy Woy.  The decor is really cute and beachy and laid back and the huge windows overlooking the water open out so I always spend at least 75% of our meals with my head hung over the rail looking in to the water below.  We've seen tons of fish, starfish, and a few stingrays while we've sat there eating.  Last time a momma duck came by with her 12 ducklings and we saw two sea eagles fly by.  They also serve fish, chicken, veggie, and shrimp tacos.  I am obsessed with the shrimp ones.  The only thing they get wrong on them are they chop parsley to serve on top, not cilantro, other than that the whole place leaves me feeling like I'm in California having dinner.

Saturday night for his actual birthday, we are going out for teppenyaki with some friends and then probably hitting the bar for St. Patty's day festivities...I don't like beer, but I've never had green beer, and while I know it's just food coloring added to normal beer, I want to try one anyway!

Sunday, we are headed down to this fake Crate and Barrel place: Wheel and Barrow to do a mini wedding registry.  We weren't going to register anywhere since a) lots of our guests are doing serious travelling to come to our wedding so we weren't expecting gifts anyway and b)we didn't know where to register at for the people who may want to get us something since the wedding is in California, but we'd have to bring it back here to Aus with us.  This place looks good since it is just like Crate and Barrel and they let you register in store and then people can look at your registry online and buy stuff and they accept American credit cards.    We are then hopefully meeting up with one of MOTH's cousins and her husband for dinner in the City that night.  She loves all things wedding and has actually become a wedding officiant and we'd like to ask her if she'd do a reading at our wedding;  I hope she'll say yes!

Speaking of wedding related stuff, we ordered our invites over the weekend and approved the proof yesterday.  Wedding Paper Divas was having a 30% off sale so we jumped on it.  We had had a certain design in mind for the last 6 months but when I went on to personalize it the other day, I came across this other design that caught my eye and when I showed it to MOTH he loved it and had such a gut reaction to it that we knew it was the one.  We're using the flowers on the invite as our main wedding flower.  They are called craspedia or billy buttons/balls and they are an Aussie native.

We also put a deposit down on a house we are renting a few hours outside of Puerto Vallarta for a week for our honeymoon.  I can't wait to get there!

That's about all from here.  I thought for sure I'd posted the recipe for Chocolate Chip Oreo Cookies before, but going through all my recipe posts, I haven't.  I know throwing Oreos in to chocolate chip cookies sounds like overkill, but believe me, it's not, no one has ever complained and I get requests to make them all the time.  Make sure you use dark chocolate or semi-sweet chocolate chips, though, so they aren't sickeningly sweet.  I'll be making them tonight for my workmates since one of the girls has put in a request for them.  I will also try and take some photos of the coconut cupcakes with cream cheese frosting I've just started making over the last few weeks since they are amazing (and I'm not even usually a coconut dessert loving girl) and my workmates have requested them 2 times since I originally made them a month ago along with the recipe I threw together for them some time next week (I'm trying to bake everyone's favorites before I leave).

If I have time this afternoon, I'm hoping I might finally get around to a blog post with links to all the recipes I've been loving lately, too.

Guess Who's Back, Back Again? Shady's Back, Tell a Friend

I guess I actually have the best excuse in the world as to why I haven't posted in 6 months- I was out living life! So many things have changed since I last wrote but a lot of it was just normal life stuff that it really didn't need its own post.  I'll give you the overview of all that has changed since I've last been on, although sadly, I'm sure not very many people check in here anymore!

1.  I got a new car.  So glad to be done with my last p.o.s. and now I'm driving a newish Hyundai Tucson and it's comfy and fun to drive and makes my 2 hours of commuting in the car so, so, so much better!

2.  We moved!  I don't remember what the final straw was that finally broke the camel's back and lit a fire under our bum to move from Budgewoi and the little shack there- it was probably either the black mold we were finding everywhere or the fact that it was raining so much that our driveway was constantly a mud pit that did it, though.  So we moved about 30 minutes closer to Sydney.  Although it has added about 15 minutes each way to my commute, MOTH Dude's work day has shrunk by nearly 2 hours since he doesn't have to drive 20 minutes to his parents' house, drop off his car, get driven to the station in the morning and do the whole thing in reverse on his trip home at night.  Now he walks to the station or takes a short bus trip.  This has been a god send!  Plus, we love our new little house.  It's got wood floors, 3 (tiny) bedrooms, a wood burning stove, air con, and in the backyard there is a fig tree, two mandarin trees, two orange trees, and we put in a garden of tomatoes, jack-o-lantern pumpkins, basil, jalapenos, bell peppers, spaghetti squash, and corn that are all going nuts!

We're allowed a dog at this place, too, and we are starting to look at pound puppies to rescue.  I always had pets growing up, though MOTH didn't, and I feel like it doesn't feel like "home" properly until we get one.

3.  I didn't get a few more dream jobs I put in for.  Didn't even get interviews!  I'm still at the same place and still not loving it.  The work is fine, I've gotten a way thicker skin and don't even get angry or upset when people are screaming down the phone line at me, what I can't deal with is the office politics.  I put in an application to get in to an Emerging Leaders Program and got rejected.  I asked for feedback and it was very general overview type of stuff, no specifics as to what was wrong with my application to keep me from at least getting interviewed.  I'm using the feedback constructively though and am working to prove I deserve to be in the program this next year.  I also hear I get a very good pay raise in July and because we are able to take leave at half pay, I already have enough leave accrued to take off 6 weeks for the wedding in September/October.  Because I'll continue to accrue days off between now and then, I plan on taking a day off per month on those months where there aren't other public holidays for mental health days-this should improve my mood significantly!

4.  MOTH Dude and I are both in weddings (other than ours) this year!  MOTH is best man for his old uni friend the Red Head and I'm doing bridesmaid duties for my friend I've spoken about before, LC!  We're very excited for both couples getting married.  After us in September, pretty much all of our friends will be married, at least all of our Aussie friends, and we will officially be old!  Haha!

5. I read a quote in September that said something along the lines of "The time you've known a person shouldn't be the only reason you consider them a friend" and then the blurb went on to say you should only keep friendships that enrich you.  I really took this to heart and evaluated a dying friendship that I had been holding on to and decided it was time to let it go.  I didn't contact the person and have some big dramatic scene.  I just chose to stop reaching out and tellingly, that person hasn't contacted me since September, either, so I feel more justified letting go. That's not to say that the whole thing wasn't or hasn't been painful but I gave myself a bit of time to mourn the loss and then I got on with it.  Now rather than focus on the loss, I focusing on all the amazing people I DO have in my life and whom I CAN count on.  We recently put together our address list for the wedding and it's pretty overwhelming and amazing to see, in numbers, just how many people we have that love us.

6.  More wedding stuff-I just returned from a super short and super expensive trip to California.  I was over from December 30th until the 12th of January.  In that time, we celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years all on one night, celebrated my Dad's 60th birthday, and got TONS of wedding stuff done.  My sister, Nae, was also in town and we hadn't seen each other in nearly two years so it was awesome to get that time with her.  Even though neither one of us is a girly girl, she really stepped up in to her maid of honor/horror role and was there with me through all the boring planning stuff.  We didn't even fight, we might have had a snippy moment or two, but there was no fights so maybe she missed me as much as I missed her or maybe we're just more diplomatic as we've gotten older and have learned to bite our tongues unless it really matters.

She and my Mom came dress shopping with me and we found the One!  (I won't post a picture of it in case MOTH Dude stops by here, but you can google it, it's Casablanca 1827 and I'm getting cap sleeves put on it and putting a belt around the middle of it.)  I love it and it was right in my budget. We also found the bridesmaid dresses and a dress for Mom and they are going to look great!  I kept MOTH Dude's Mom in the loop during planning as she only has the two boys and mother of the groom doesn't get a lot of fun jobs and when I sent her a dress she said it made her teary eyed and I was going to look beautiful.  That was really special for me to hear.

7.  Nae is dating a South African!!  They seem really well suited to each other- they like cooking and organic gardening and getting outdoors on adventures.  He seems like he treats her really well and has an amazing family who has taken her in already.  I think we are all nervous that we will lose her to South Africa, as well.  It is still early days, but I think he might be a keeper!  We are hoping he'll be able to get off of work to come to the wedding and that maybe even his parents will want to come out and party with us.  I'm not sure if he deserves a blog name or not yet, but I thought of a good one-I'm calling him PBJ since he has three names between his first and middle names and the initials are nearly the same and I'm sure, like Aussies, South Africans aren't huge fans of the PB&J sandwich combo.

MOTH Dude and I plan on taking a mini moon to Mexico for a week after the wedding and then we're saving up to head to South Africa to hang with Nae and safari in 2013!

Then we'll be really, really old and have to start thinking about terrifying stuff like having kids and what not...so glad to have another year and a half to prepare myself mentally for that challenge!

Anyway, I think that's everything.  I'll try and be more frequent in my posting.  We do have exciting things coming up so hopefully I'll have fun things to write about.  Plus, I still have about 15 recipes I'd love to share with you guys, but I've been slacking on my own food photo taking so I may just have a post with links to the recipes I've found and loved and how to tweak them to make them even better.

Happy Australia Day for Thursday! xx

Saves the Day

Or Save the Date, in this case!

This is the post card that MOTH Dude and I are going to use for our Save the Dates. We are custom designing them through Zazzle so down in the water section of the card we will have "Save the Date" and then all of the whos and the whats and the whens on the back. MOTH Dude really loved this image when I came across it and we think everyone here will get a kick out of it, too.

I know we are still about 14 months out from the wedding, but we are doing a dorky little slide show for our friends and family here sometime in September letting them know about the wedding and what things might cost them should anyone decided to come out to California to celebrate with us. I know traditionally S.T.D.s don't go out that early (not that S.T.D.s are really traditional to begin with, but you know what I mean) but for such a big trip, we feel it is important to give everyone a full year to be able to think about it/save up. We won't send out the Save the Dates to people back in the States until about 4 months out or whenever you typically send them out.

Anyway, I promise not to completely turn this place in to a wedding blog, but it is one of the happier elements of my life right now-planning for our wedding. Plus, it is freezing cold here right now (like "I can see my breath in my bedroom right now" cold) and it's been raining non-stop for the past few days so not a whole lot of other excitement has been going on lately.

Although, I do have some recipes I should get posted up that are amazing! And tomorrow night we are celebrating our 3rd Annual Christmas in July with all of our friends...yay!

Life in the Fast Lane

Oops, So I believe I said in my last post that I would update again from Kauai, but now here I am, with 2 days and 1 night left of my trip back to the States, and I'm only just getting around to posting. Typical me!

I have a ton of stuff to write about and not much time to write it today since I still have to look for work pants and shoes to bring back with me and stock up on a few more food products MOTH and I will be desperate for as soon as we get back to Aus where they are either a) not available or b) god awful expensive and then I should clean the guest room since my parents have people coming to stay with them a few days after we leave.

Since I keep reading on people's Facebook statuses how cold and miserable it is in NSW already and since high bill season is about to start at my work, where I know I will spend multiple 8 hour shifts getting yelled at and verbally abused by customers, reminiscing on my vacation through blog posts will be a very nice distraction in the coming weeks.

Here are some of the topics I hope to have posts up about shortly:

Our amazing, wonderful, fabulous, exquisite, relaxing, and fun trip to Kauai

Our time in San Francisco, including meeting our fabulous wedding photographer

The time I got ripped off by some guy at a gas station and got in to a verbal confrontation with him

Wedding plans including our wedding planner, our menu, and our location

How MOTH Dude upgraded my engagement ring in a very BIG way

Anyway, I'm off to start my errands. Wish me safe flying thoughts and a speedy recovery from my jet lag since I am hitting the ground running and starting back to work on Monday!

One More Day to Leave it All Behind To Go Where You Have Never Even Tried

Image Source

So welcome back to the roller coaster that is my mind and my emotions. Today you find me in a good mood and my spirits high. I am on the final day of a 5 day long weekend and I only have 3 more days left at work before I am off for a whole month!

MOTH Dude and I have spent the weekend cleaning, doing laundry, gardening, visiting friends and family and catching up on much needed sleep and our favorite TV shows.

We are both nearly giddy at the thought of our upcoming travel plans! Saturday we are having a van pick us up and then we are off to SYD to catch our JetStar flight to Honolulu. We arrive at about 6:30am Saturday morning where we will head through customs and then catch a flight to Kauai where we will meet up with my Mom and Dad. From there we will head to our favorite condo ever (see image above, it's called Whalers Cove and it's in Poipu) and spend 8 days snorkeling, tanning, stand up paddle boarding, and hanging out.

After that we head to San Francisco for a few days where we plan on walking over the GG Bridge again, eating at our favorite restaurants, doing some shopping, meeting with a potential wedding photographer, and hitting up an SF Giants baseball game-MOTH's first ever!

After San Francisco, we will head down to Santa Cruz to hang out, visit potential wedding spots, meet our wedding coordinator, hang with some of my parents' really fun and nice neighbors, beach walk, meet other potential wedding vendors, and eat at all of our favorite places. Bun and Markie may also come up for a visit so we can show them around and so that they can finally experience staying in the awesome pool house at Mom and Dad's.

We are also planning on a very quick road trip down to Orange County to meet with our other potential wedding photographers, as well as to visit my Gma and ask my Godfather to be our wedding officiant!

We have so much to do in the three weeks we will be back in California and I really want to get as much wedding stuff nailed down as possible because it may be the last time we/MOTH Dude will be there before the wedding (eeeek!). I'm sure we will be coming back from our trip as worn out as when we left, but in a good way. I can't wait to meet all the people who are potentially going to make our wedding day so special. I also can't wait to see how much all of this is going to cost us. I am sure we are in for some sticker shock!

I really wish Nae could be with us in Kauai and for wedding planning since she's my Maid of Honor (or as I like to call her, the Maid of Horror since she thinks I'm going to be a bridezilla, haha), but she is swamped with tracking sharks and working on her dissertation so I am hoping that MOTH Dude and I (or at least I) can get back at Christmas time when she is planning on a visit.

In other news, my sister who is not really my sister, aka the Camp Counselor is going to be watching the pets while we are in Kauai. She is then leaving with her real family for a trip to Australia the day after we get in to Santa Cruz and as (bad) luck would have it, she'll be arriving back to the U.S. on the day that MOTH and I arrive back to Sydney! I can't believe the timing of it!

Stay tuned for all the exciting (at least to me) updates and photos.

Because the Positive will Always Overcome the Negative

Although my last post was fairly negative, I generally try to write about things from a positive perspective. I may talk about something negative if it has been affecting me for some time, but if MOTH Dude and I get in to a little fight or if someone at work or a friend says something that hurts my feelings, I don't come on here and lash out at them right away. I know it is a momentary bump in the road in our relationship/friendships. Don't get me wrong, there have been times I've wanted to be immature and air some dirty laundry on here, but once it's on here anyone can read it and even though I give psuedonym's to everyone, if you know me, it is easy to figure out who everyone is.

The benefit of technology is that it allows people to have a voice and to share that voice with a wider audience than was ever available before. The downside to technology is that people seem to forget that what you put out in to the internet never really goes away. So if you put something out there, you have to be willing to own it.

I'll get to the specific event I'm speaking about in just a moment here, but when called my Mom on advice on how to proceed on what I had found, she talked about how one of her friend's daughters had broken up with a boy and the boy got so mad he started a website about what a drunk and a slut this girl is. Now, whenever you Google the girl, that stuff comes up about her. How horrible, right? Even if these things were true, does the girl deserve to have that out there for future employers to see?

I, myself, Googled someone the other day who had been really, really mean to me for no reason just to see what was out there about him. With only his first and last name, I found out a ton about him and on the very first search result linked to his name found his cell number and his personal email address. If I was a vindictive person, there's lots of bad stuff I could do with that information alone.

Technology is changing so rapidly and is such a useful tool, but sometimes we get complacent about what we put out there about others and the information that we share to the world about ourselves.

So on to why I'm posting about this today: MOTH Dude and I are heading back to California in a month and a half to visit family and friends and to start looking at wedding venues and meet with potential vendors. I've made a wedding inspiration board and have a good idea based on our style and our budget on what we are after. In conjunction with the wedding planning process, part of my daily internet routine now includes checking out a couple wedding blogs to see if any of the weddings featured are using the colors or details we like in a way we haven't thought of. I also read a forum site where brides ask each other things like where to find the perfect blue shoes or what a reasonable cost in NY is for a wedding cake or what should they do to make their DIY centerpieces nicer. Part of the forum is dedicated to family topics and bridesmaids and honeymoons, as well. What I generally do is go on and look at the first 5 pages of forum topics. These are all the posts from any of the sections (honeymoons, shoes, family, etc) that have been commented on most recently.

This morning, while MOTH was at church and I was waiting on the first load of laundry, I scanned through the first 5 pages as per usual and opened in a new tab any topics that were relevant to me and a few about people venting about problems they are having in planning their weddings. One of the topics I opened was "MOH from Hell". (For those not in the throes of wedding planning, MOH = Maid of Honor.)

I'm reading through the post and the author was frustrated with her Maid of Honor because she thought she was being too controlling, too negative, and wanted to go on a $500 cruise for a bachelorette weekend (which may sound extravagant to some, but I've had a few friends in Orange County do this now, so while it does seem like an expensive party, it's not so far fetched for our area/friend group) but then was worried about how much being a bridesmaid was going to cost her. The friend asked the bride to provide her with a spreadsheet on what she should be expecting to pay to participate in the wedding, which is a contrast to being able to drop $500 for a weekend cruise, but not an unreasonable request. The bride first writes that she is unsure 12 months out from the wedding how much everything will cost, (which I can relate to because I have no idea how much I'll be asking my girls to spend, but want to keep it low for them) but then the bride writes out how much the bridesmaid dress she likes costs, how much for the shoes she wants them to get are, and how much for their hair/makeup and comes up with a figure of $256.

She then rips in to her Maid of Honor saying she thought she'd be the perfect person to pick as she works in the industry. She then starts to talk about the friend's family's financial background and talks about how it shouldn't worry the Maid of Honor as they are well off. Then things get really nasty and the bride starts to talk about really personal things that have happened to the girl, once again, on a public forum where anyone can read it.

Well, as I'm reading the post, I think to myself, "Gee, that sounds like the life of one of my friends as far as school and work goes and she does come from a comfortable family, but I have never heard a negative word from her about anything and when I showed her my wedding idea board she had nothing but nice things to say and made some cool suggestions, too." So I went on Facebook and was going to link to the forum post on my friend's wall for a laugh, but then I thought, "Nah, I'll private message her."

So I'm writing this note: Hey Hottie, How's life? You're not a Maid of Honor for anyone are you? There is a post on this website (link to website) about some girl, but I don't think anyone could ever write something like that about you. Anyway, there is someone else in your city, living your life, and they also went to your same college...Better find out who your competition is! ;)

But before I hit send, I get a funny feeling and think I should check out the bride's profile to see if there was any link between her and my friend...like same age or high school or neighborhood. I click on her Bio page and there is a description and picture of each of her bridesmaids and lo and behold, my friend is at the top under Maid of Honor. It doesn't give her full name, thank god, just her first name but there she is in picture form for everyone to see who exactly the bride has been talking about.

I didn't know what to do so I called my Mom. I gave her a general run down of what I had found and my Mom said that this was the trouble with technology and that I should just sit on it. And I said, "Really? Don't do anything? Let me just read you exactly what was written." So I did and then said again how my friend's picture was easily linked to the post. Mom thought it was pretty awful and suggested that I wait to see if the bride posts anything later because the last thing the bride wrote was how she was going out with the Maid of Honor and another bridemaid tonight, to see if maybe she and my friend get things worked out, and if not, to contact my friend tomorrow to let her know this information is out there on the internet about her.

Whether what the bride wrote about the friend is true or untrue (I really don't know), I don't think she had the right to post those things about my friend, when there is a picture that everyone can see of her on the same site.

So two questions for you:

1) How would you proceed from here? (Would you only let my friend know if they bride continued to post negative stuff about her? Or should she know what is already out there about her?)

2)Would you want to know someone had written stuff about you like that online or since it won't come up in a Google search of your name, would you rather be left in the dark?

Ok, how about a third:

Have you ever found something written online about you, bad or good, that you didn't know existed? How did it make you feel? What did you do?

Because I'm Still In Love With You

So the last video I posted for "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" isn't really a song that is in the running for our first dance song, but I really like it and think it is sweet and it always reminds me of MOTH Dude when I hear it.

The two songs that are actually in the running are as follows, plus reasons why we might choose them:



Reasons to choose Harvest Moon:

1. MOTH and I are both big Neil Young fans, as are my parents
2. Our wedding will be outdoors (hopefully) in Autumn and I think I've worked it out where it will be on a day that is a Harvest moon
3. For the lyrics "When we were strangers/I watched you from afar/When we were lovers/I loved you with all my heart/But now it's getting late/And the moon is climbin high/I want to celebrate/See it shinin in your eye" that speak to the love we have for each other and the feeling we want to have for our wedding night
4. It's the perfect outdoor, laid back, kinda hippie Santa Cruz wedding song






Reasons to choose You Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will.:

1. MOTH and I are both Bright Eyes fans
2. MOTH and I deeply love and care about each other, but we aren't all schmoopy and obnoxious about our love. We are realists and this song speaks to that in the line "Are you the love of my lifetime?/Cause there have been times I've had my doubts." There have been some roadblocks in our relationship (or should I say outside influences and circumstances?) that have seem insurmountable and I'm sure we've both thought long and hard about whether or not this is all worth it. Luckily, we have decided it is!
3. For the lyrics that remind us of our life together, like "You said you could be my dream I could have you every night/And if by morning, I'd forgotten you, well no big deal, that'd be alright/'Cause you're the reoccurring kind/You are the reoccurring kind/You never really leave my mind" since MOTH always forgets his dreams and laughs about how vivid mine are and "You're a boomerang you'll see/You will return to me" since boomerangs are Aussie, MOTH liked the little shout out to something Australia in the song
4. We were hoping that one of my good friends from grade school would come to the wedding and that maybe he'd sing this song along to his guitar for us?

Obviously we still have tons of time to work these types of little details out, but it has been fun starting to think about them!

I Will Follow You Into the Dark

Too morbid for a first dance at our wedding?

Tonight We're All Still Young at Heart

Image from barringtonriversideretreate.com.au

Saturday morning I woke up with a headache so bad it made my eyes water! I had to suck it up though as we had a 2 and a half hour drive ahead of us to it out to Gloucester, where the Runner and the Smooth Talker were getting married. I was able to find some headache medicine right before we left and that seemed to knock the headache out pretty well.

It was a pretty drive and MOTH and I had fun in the car and talked about how it felt like road tripping in America. We were the first to arrive at the cabins we were all going to be staying at for the night and had our pick of the 4 so we chose the one with the best view of the river below. Not long after, our bunk mates The Farmer and Tinkerbell (who hates this pseudonym and whom I still need to think up another one for) arrived and after them came LC, Bob Marley, the Hairdresser, the Soccer Player, Croc, and the Teacher. All the boys hung out on the porch drinking beer and making a trip down to feel the water while us girls took over the main bedroom of our cabin and the Hairdresser very nicely did all of our hair for us. We then got dressed and started to head out for the ceremony. I started to feel a bit headachey again before we left, but figured it was just because I was a little overheated.

The ceremony was at a beautiful hill overlooking the whole valley and town of Gloucester. The Runner teared up as she walked down the aisle and I teared up with her. It was a short and simple ceremony, but by the time it was over, I was starting to feel really sick to my stomach so I told MOTH Dude I needed to go sit in the car in some air conditioning for awhile. Being a good guy, he left the after ceremony drinks, pictures, and canapes to check on me a few times. After a while, the air conditioning just wasn't doing it for me so I stumbled out of our car and very classily got down on my knees in my pretty dress and heels and puked behind a tree. I felt better for a few minutes so I went down and joined our friends again. But then I started to not feel so great again and MOTH offered to take me in to town to try and find some medicine so I wouldn't be sick all night. We made it in to town just as the last grocery store was closing. I explained to them how I had just been sick and could I please run in for some quick medicine. They don't have much variety in grocery stores here like they do in the U.S. but we grabbed whatever we thought might help me. I took some Alka Seltzer that was supposed to be for headaches and upset stomachs. About that time, our friends arrived in town to go to the pub to wait for the reception to start. MOTH got me a gingerale and I sat outside with the girls trying to get some air. I felt bad for MOTH having to keep missing out on the fun so he went inside to play pool with the other boys. Twice I ran out to in front of the pub to try and catch a bit of breeze to make me nausea go away. Finally, (TMI coming up so beware if you're squeamish) I couldn't hold it any longer and I did 3 big heaves in to a planter outside of the pub. I'm sure I just looked like a hot mess and a bad drunk to anyone who saw, but I couldn't help it, nor could I face puking in the pub's bathroom. MOTH came out just as I finished and I started crying. I felt so awful and just wanted to go back to the cabin to lie down. He convinced me to wash my face and grab some fries aka chips to eat and that seemed to do the trick.

It was then time for the reception. It was a fun night with everyone else doing lots of drinking (I was driving, plus nothing sounded worse than drinking on top of having already been sick) and dancing and taking scandalous and funny pictures together.

There was a tiny bit of drama at the end of the night when we went to say good bye to the bride. I told her that I know I'm flakey so it may have seemed that that was what I was doing the weekend before when I missed her bachelorette party, but that I had been sick with other stomach issues. I told her about being sick that night. She didn't seem to believe me and had some issues about our cabins, as well. It was sad to see her upset on her wedding night and upset at me/the other girls(?) specifically because we hadn't actually done anything wrong and it was a shame that people were telling her crappy things about us. I guess you can't be in a group our size without a bit of drama between everyone every once in a while, though. Hopefully she came away believing what we had said, but I'm not sure. I hope to speak to her when she gets back from her honeymoon to reiterate that we didn't say anything negative about her, her bachelorette party, or her choice of accommodation for us-there was just a lot of confusion and third party misinformation.

After the reception, we all headed back to hang out at the cabin and decompress from the night. At the stroke of midnight, we roused the Farmer from his room and sang Happy Birthday to him. The rest of us made it in to bed between 1 and 1:30.

In the morning, we got up waaaaaaay too early (7:30!!) and sat out on the porch again and watched the river. We then made breakfast, packed up, and all headed down to the river where MOTH and the Soccer Player took an unintentional, that turned in to intentional, dip in the river.

I don't think anyone wanted to go and we discussed getting a big house together somewhere at the beach to share sometime soon. We then got in to our separate cars and headed home. Other than being sick and the bit of drama that unfolded, it was a fantastic weekend away!

You're a Part Time Lover and A Full Time Friend...I Don't See What Anyone Else Can See in Anyone Else but You

On February 5, 2010 under this bridge...

This guy proposed to this girl by asking "So, do you still want to marry an Australian?"

The girl took two seconds to think about some of the good times they had shared together...

And she said, "Yes!"

When the Sun is Shining...

Man, yesterday turned out to be the day for good news. Not only did I get that job, as I've already mentioned, but one of my friends got engaged and I found out that our friends in Sydney are going to be having a baby! You always hear the phrase "when it rains, it pours" well this is the converse of that "when the sun shines, it shines brightly!"

You're Just Jealous 'Cause We're Young and in Love

This past weekend most of our group headed down to Terrigal to see two of our friends get married. It was the first church service I had been to in a long time, but it was short and other than it being in a church it didn't feel like a typical church marriage service.

After the vows were said and rings exchanged, we had about 2 hours to kill until the reception so we all headed out for a snack and then to a nice outdoor bar area to wait. The reception was held at the surf club on the beach and it was a beautiful view. Our friends did a great job of setting up the place and these were the favors sitting at everyone's place at the table (sorry for the blurriness, these were all taken with my camera phone):
They are seashells sitting on sand-the seashells are chocolate and the sand is actually a mixture of raw and brown sugar! The centerpiece was a square vase with shells in the bottom and a fighting fish swimming around inside. The food was fantastic and all of our friends actually got to sit at one table together and we had the best time. I even got pulled on to the dance floor (sober) and attempted to dance, but this white girl has no rhythm with no cocktails in her! It was a very fun night and our group scrubs up very nicely when the occasion calls for it. It was also great to see most of the couples out on the dance floor and the way that they looked at each other with such happiness and love while they danced, I know it's totally cornball of me to say but it made me happy to watch and put a smile on my face. I'm going to miss these guys when I'm home for 3 months! Boyfriend and I shared a dance and a laugh at the very end of the night and I told Boyfriend that I would do a first dance with him (which I've never really wanted to do) if we ever got married if it could be as fun and laid back as how we were dancing then (ie. very uncoordinated and fun). Oh, and I forgot to say, LC caught the bouquet! It's the second time she's caught it at friends' weddings so she thinks it's about time that Bob Marley gets her a ring and sets a date!

Here's what I wore to the wedding:
Dress by H&M. I've worn it a few times before and I really like it. I think it cost about $40 and it's super comfy and I wish we had H&M in Australia!
These shoes aren't normally my style but Boyfriend saw them in the shop and really liked them so I tried them on and they weren't too hurty so I got them and was able to wear them all night long, except for the walk back to the car at the end of the night. (We had as much drama finding shoes as I had looking for dresses...You would not believe the price of shoes here- I went in to Payless and found a pair that I kindof liked and they were $80!! $80 at Payless! The other stores had shoes that were ok for like $100 but not a name brand of any type or stores like Target and Big W had tacky-ass looking stuff that was still $50! I think I spent about $60 on these and to me I think they look like $30-$40 shoes, oh well)
I thought this clutch was totally cute. It was the first thing I bought, other than the dress I already had so I based my outfit around the black, white, and silver from the clutch. I also got it for $15, it was half off!
These are the earrings and the necklace I got. I'm going to try and return the necklace because it got super knotted about 5 seconds after putting it on and didn't look cute at all after that, though it did look really cute hanging in the shop! The Teacher had bought the same necklace the weekend before to wear to the Bachelorette party and told me hers did the same thing.

Been Caught Stealing

On Friday, LC and I went to the shops (aka the Mall) with baby Lo to look for some dresses for me to wear to a friend's upcoming wedding. I found one dress that I kindof liked until I looked at the price....$70 for a little cotton blend summer dress and $50 for a knitted short sleeved cardigan...The outfit was cute, but not $120 cute! It looked like the whole thing might cost you $40-50 at Old Navy. And the sizes...I felt like a beast. I know I've gotten chubby, but I can fit in to "normal" people clothes back home (and don't give me some B.S. about Australians are skinnier/healthier/smaller whatever, my Australian readers, because just last year you guys were the fattest country in the world) and here, not so much. Also, the stores seem to make bigger sizes bigger everywhere but in the chests...bigger girls typically come with bigger boobs, but they just aren't understanding that concept here! So I'd have things that looked cute otherwise and then not fit over my boobs.

There are also about three styles of dresses right now in Australia and I am not a fan of/cannot pull off any of them: maxi dress (my legs are too stubby to look right in these), dresses that look like a wife beater on top with a stretchy belt area around the middle and short flared skirt bottom (accentuates the boobage and not dressy looking enough on me for a wedding), and strapless dresses (which my Mom has always said chubby girls and girls with big boobs should not wear strapless dresses and I agree with her, at least for on me). Even the fat girl store only offered these 3 styles of dresses. I'm all for giving chubsters some cute options and some styles do look good on people of all sizes but how about some flattering and stylish big girl dresses, too? A cute wrap dress would be great or something that had short sleeves and hit at the knee or something. The shopping excursion totally left me hating myself and was so unmotivating for the healthy eating/walking program I've been trying to stick to for the last month.

Now to the stealing referenced in the title of this posting: So we had been walking around the shops for awhile looking for dresses for me and LC needed some accessories to go with her wedding outfit. The store she wanted to hit up was tiny, like the size of a small bedroom, and was already jam packed with people and 2 shopping carts so she asked if I would stay out with Lo and the stroller while she went in. I said sure, then noticed that we were near one store where sometimes I find things I actually like/would actually buy so I told her I was going to wheel me and Lo over there to have a look and sure enough, I found something to try on (the $120 outfit I mentioned above, I just didn't look at prices before I decided to try it on). As I'm making my way toward the dressing room the shop girl goes "Oh what a cute baby, how old is she?" And I go "Uhhhh, I dunno, like 8 weeks or something?" (She's 11 weeks, oops!) And the shop girl gives me a funny look and I tell her "Oh, this isn't my baby, it's my friend's and she's in another store so she's probably going to think I stole her baby if I go try this stuff on." So the girl says, "I'll keep an eye out for her and let her know where you are" (Keep in mind this store is about the size of a master bedroom in the U.S., too. All stores are small here, no wonder I go to 20 and still walk away with nothing!) So I wheel Lo in to the dressing room and try my stuff on and wait and wait for LC to come so I can show her the one outfit that actually fits and looks kinda cute. At one point, I go to where the dressing rooms lead out in to the store because I think I hear her voice but it's not her and I figure she must be enjoying her little bit of shopping time without having to deal with a baby and a stroller. Finally, I give up and take the outfit off and gasp at the ridiculous price and go out to put it back on the shelf and to find LC. I spot her outside the store and wave to her and notice she looks a bit upset. She comes in and starts crying and says, "I thought someone stole Lo. I couldn't find you guys and thought she had been stolen!" And the shop girl is standing next to me and goes, "Oh no, she's crying" and I say "See, I told you she was going to think I had stolen her baby!" LC says, "I didn't think you stole her, but I thought when I couldn't find you in here, maybe you had turned to look at something and someone had stolen her from you and you had run away because you didn't want to tell me you had lost my baby." I say, "Thanks for the vote of confidence, friend!" And that got her laughing and feeling a bit better, but I felt pretty bad that I had made her so stressed and scared. Needless to say, I don't think LC is quite ready to leave Lo with me anytime soon!

You Oughta Know

I'm a little worried posting this...you might read it and never come back! I guess it's a risk I'm willing to take because I thought it was fun and funny to write and hey, you guys deserve to know all about the big dork I really am! So here it goes:

10 Things You Didn't Know About Little D (aka 10 Things You Didn't Want/Need to Know About Little D)

1)I hate flying. It's two months out from my trip home and I'm already thinking about the flight and dreading it. When I book flights I think to myself "Am I sealing my fate? Did I just pick the one flight that week that is going to go down? Should I rebook? But then what if that's the one that goes down?" I used to be prescribed Xanax for flying because I get that nervous. I'd still take it, but I don't have anyone to prescribe it to me anymore. Weird habit for someone who chooses to live thousands of miles away from their family, thus ensuring at least two 14 hour flights home a year, right?

2) I freak out in crowds. I hate people touching me, being too close to me, blocking my way when i've got things to do...whether it's picking out movies or grocery shopping, I panic or get really pissed off and it's a toss up on any given day which it'll be between panicked or pissy. This amuses Boyfriend to no end and he sometimes laughs about how frustrated I get and other times he's really nice and can foresee when the crowds are going to get to me and gets me out of the situation as quickly as possible.

3) I became a vegetarian for a few years starting at age 11 because Jonathon Taylor Thomas did an interview in Teen Beat or some magazine like that where he said he'd only ever date a fellow vegetarian. I didn't know when or where I'd meet JTT but I wanted to have at least that one thing going for me if we ever did meet and he suddenly wanted to date me!

4) I used to have OCD (self diagnosed, but whatever, minor detail) as a child, probably around the age of 10-11 and everything I had to do had to be even....if I ate a bite of food and chewed it on my left side, well then my right side and in the middle had to have a bite chewed there as well. I had to eat an even number of chips or crackers or whatever, I had to flip a switch 2 times or 4 times, but never 1 or 3 times....I wanted things to be fair and I didn't want to hurt these inanimate objects' feelings....One day I finally realized that my little ticks were taking over and decided to try and stop them. I still catch myself from time to time moving different bites of food across my mouth so that things are fair and even, but for the most part I was able to unteach myself my OCD habits. The one thing that I still do(and it's funny given my love of all things being even, I think it has something with me wanting life to be fair and my Mom telling me constantly when I was little that "Life's not fair.") is that I have to wake up on an odd numbered time...the number has to end in a 1, 3, 7, or 9....I even leave out the 5 because it's half way through 0-9. It's the one habit that I just can't shake.

5) The first big concert I ever went to was the Rolling Stones with my Mom, Dad, and Nae when we were probably around 12 years old. It was at Dodger's Stadium and we had seats on the field pretty close to the stage and I thought the whole thing was so neat, but me and Nae kept complaining about the "funny smelling smoke" all around us!

6)For my 18th birthday I asked my parents for Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young tickets and that's what we did...Me, Mom, Dad, Nae and Nae's boyfriend at the time went and rocked out and it was really special. I went through a classic rock phase (I still love it, just don't have it on repeat like I did then). I also used the song "Teach Your Children Well" as the song on my Senior page in the yearbook. (I've also seen Fleetwood Mac, Eric Clapton, Neil Young on his own, Paul McCartney, and James Taylor over the years and about 100 other bands that aren't classic rock.)

7) I was on the yearbook staff my Senior year and it was really fun and I got to meet some good people and use 6th period as a time to just hang out, though I probably should've worked harder and actually met some deadlines.

8) The only school dance I ever really had fun at was at Senior Prom and that's because I went with my whole group of friends finally and my date was a really good friend, the Captain of the High School Football Team. I was really late to our meeting spot and he was really frustrated as I was holding up the whole group, but when he saw me he said the best thing ever, that "he couldn't be mad at me anymore because I looked so good." Swoon! We had a great time: he said something silly to me as our photo was being taken so I love our picture together because I've got the biggest smile on my face, we danced a slow song together but weren't together together so I was free to mingle with everyone and take pictures with a bunch of friends and not be glued to his side the whole night or expected to dance with only him, and at the end of the night since we weren't having prom night sex he serenaded me with this reggae song that I always used to love how he sang and then we partied it up and spent the night together (but once again, not together together) at one of our friends' houses with the whole group.

9) I have the biggest mouth in the world and am awful at keeping secrets, though I really am working on it this year and so far I have 3 secrets from various people that I've managed fairly well to keep secret. Boyfriend and Nae both laugh over my big mouth and commiserate with each other about how their embarrassing moments are never kept private. Oh, and I really talk how I write; there are constant asides that I go off on (just like in these parenthesis) and I'm sure it's hard for the average listener to follow along with, but I get so excited and sidetracked and caught up in details. Though I am a fairly concise speaker when I need to be, like in front of the class because I wouldn't want to confuse the kids. I also talk a lot and it drives Boyfriend and my family crazy. They pretty much think "Do you ever draw breath?" but I can't help it. I've got a lot to say and limited time with my family so I gotta get a year's worth of talking out in 3 months and I can't help it if I get a sudden burst of energy or thing of something really awesome when Boyfriend and I get in to bed at night and just have to tell him before I can fall asleep! Sometimes I like to sit back and just listen, too, to everything that is going on around me.

10) I have a blankie. It's not one that I've had since I was born; my Mom got it for me the first Christmas after I moved to Australia. It's sky blue and has snowflakes and penguins on it (I love penguins...we call them pengoos, Boyfriend and I, is that lame in general? Is it lame couple's talk? Probably on both counts but at least we don't call EACH OTHER Pengoo or Snuggle Butt or whatever, right?). It's a little throw blanket and it's down. It's the best blanket to have on the plane cause it just covers me and means I don't have to use the icky airplane blankets (I've heard stories and you really don't want to use airplane blankets). It's also warm in winter and cool in summer and a great blanket to lay on the couch with. It's a security thing because it reminds me of my Mom and home and being loved and wrapped up in a big hug, but I'm not Linus from the Peanuts...I don't take it to work with me or school with me or hide it in my purse or drag it behind me at the shopping center, but it is nice to come home and throw it over me at the end of a long day or to throw over my shoulders at night in bed for just a little bit of extra warmth.

Ummmm, ok, so are you ever coming back again now that you know the dark, dark secrets of my soul? Do you think I'm a freak? Oh well, if you're reading my stuff, you'd might as well know the real me and not just some bright and shiny version. So in summary, I, Little D, am a bad flyer, angry in crowds, a vegetarian to get boys, a reformed OCDer, a concert/classic rock nerd, as well as a yearbook geek (though actually really cool/popular girls from my class were on yearbook), a hater of all school dances in memory minus Senior Prom, a big mouth who can't keep a secret and who talks until her face turns blue, and I'm Linus lite. Stick around if you dare. If not, I understand and it's been nice knowing you! Hah!

But really, things might start to get a bit more interesting around here over the next couple of months because we've got another Ikea trip planned for next weekend(really, this is exciting/interesting to me...we don't have a lot of fun stuff on the Coast, can you tell?) plus a wedding in Terrigal with the whole group, and I've just booked my trip home for the end of October and will actually be celebrating my first Halloween in 5 years! (I told Boyfriend today that we have to raise our kids, should there be any, in America because, really, it's cruel for kids to miss out on Halloween. It's not very big here, no costumes or trick-or-treating...how depressing and that means I won't have any kids' Halloween candy to raid some day!) In the meantime, Boyfriend and I have to decide whether or not we are keeping our little house to rent for the next year or whatever and if not, where we will store all of our stuff until I come back and we find a new place together. There will probably also be a recap of another tearful goodbye between Boyfriend and I, as well as a post to all of you in case I die on my flight home (remember Confession #1?) and then a recap of the crazy people I was forced to sit next to on my flight to San Francisco. Then the process of finding a job and hopefully working lots of hours until Christmas and then Boyfriend coming to California and all of our adventures there this year. There will probably be an influx of posts about me suddenly wondering why I miss my family so much while I'm in Australia because they drive me nuts when I'm home (Mom and Dad and Nae actually had this conversation when they were out to dinner the other night..."I will love being home for a week and then I will hate everyone" haha). I'll also probably have lots of pictures and recipes to share soon because I cook a lot for my parents when I go back home (mostly because they are pretty bad cooks, sorry Mom and Dad but you know it's true, Nae would agree) and Nae is a pretty awesome chef and baker, as well, so I'll share her awesome Thanksgiving and pie and lemon bar and cookie recipes. So keep checking back in and if these posts aren't exciting enough for you guys, then remember you can email me or leave me a comment on what you would like to see me write about instead.

Wedding Song

Oh, can't you see that you were born to stand by my side
And I was born to be with you, you were born to be my bride,
You're the other half of what I am, you're the missing piece
And I love you more than ever with that love that doesn't cease.

You turn the tide on me each day and teach my eyes to see,
Just bein' next to you is a natural thing for me
And I could never let you go, no matter what goes on,
'Cause I love you more than ever now that the past is gone.
-Bob Dylan

Don't get too excited, this post has nothing to do with me getting engaged (you'll be some of the first to know if it ever does happen), but it does have to do with people's right to get married.
You guys know me by now- I love tv, I love cooking, so I love tv cooking shows and this last week on Top Chef they had a wedding challenge and some of the gay contestants were upset by it. On one hand I thought the one girl was being a bit melodramatic about the whole thing as she, herself, even said she knew there would probably be a wedding challenge. On the other hand I thought she had a right to be upset and offended to have to participate in a wedding challenge when she doesn't have to option of getting married to the person she loves right now.

I'm all for gay marriage. I don't think you choose who you fall in love with and I don't think by letting gay people be equal before the law that that takes away from the so called "sanctity" of marriage (give me a break, by the way). I just don't see any kind of love between two consenting adults as ever being something wrong or bad or evil or whatever. As for the people who somehow justify their stance as "If we let gay people get married...what next, people and animals?" I don't see your logic. As far as I can tell this discussion is still about two adult HUMANS wanting to be married. I would love to see if this kind of argument was used back in the day when mixed race marriages were illegal...i.e. "If you want to marry outside your race, what next marrying outside your species?!?" BULLSHIT!

But back to Top Chef, their headchef Tom Colicchio responded to the contestants' frustration by releasing this statement, which says how I feel about the whole thing much more elegantly than I could ever put it:

"I’m going to go out on a limb and say a few words about same-sex marriage: First of all, part of the problem with the issue is that it is framed by opponents as a discussion of whether gay people should get special rights. This is specious – yes, special legislation or court decisions grant them the right to wed in a particular state, however this is done to ensure that they share equal protection under the law by finally being able to avail themselves of the same rights as everyone else. They are not seeking special treatment, just equitable treatment. Second, religion has no business being part of the discussion. When a couple is wed in a house of worship, the officiant may be performing a religious rite, but as far as the law is concerned, that officiant has been authorized to perform a civil function, plain and simple. And even were same-sex marriage to be legalized by the state, no one would be holding a gun to the heads of the clergy to require them to perform a ceremony that their faith or personal creed does not condone. Just as some rabbis would not perform my marriage to my wife because I wasn’t Jewish, clergy can decline performing same-sex marriages; gay couples can either find clergy willing to officiate or can be wed in a civil setting. The idea that religious leaders are continuing to shape state law is just wrong. The institution of marriage should be available to all. The idea that you can have a life-long partner and not make decisions for them in a hospital, not share in insurance benefits, not automatically have parental rights unless you are the birth parent, is just flat-out wrong."

(http://www.towleroad.com/2009/08/top-chef-host-colicchio-speaks-out-on-marriage-equality-after-contestants-are-asked-to-cook-at-a-het.html where I got the quote and the video of the upset Top Chef contestant if you haven't seen it)

Daydream Believer

Normally our mornings consist of waking up anywhere between 4:50-5:30 a.m. depending on the train Boyfriend is catching that morning. I drag my butt out of bed and make him breakfast (2 crumpets with butter and vegemite-ick-and a glass of orange juice and a travel mug of coffee for the train, if you were curious) and make sure his lunch is thrown in his bag while he takes a shower or gets dressed. I then sit with him and watch the news until he has to leave then I hop back in to bed, maybe check my email, cuddle the still warmish hot water bottle, and fall back to sleep.

That's how it normally goes.

This morning, with only one day left at Boyfriend's current job, we got up, I made the breakfast, he got dressed, we watched the news, he left, I checked emails, I cuddled the hot water bottle, and I laid here, and I laid here some more, and I didn't not fall asleep for two hours. My eyes were closed but I was not blissed out and unconscious. Instead, I daydreamed about the stuff I would've liked to have been dreaming about: my wedding and working at the surf shop. I won't share with you the wedding plans because I'm not even engaged yet and some of you will probably find it creepy that I've got most of my wedding planned out (but only if it's to Boyfriend, it's very us and would change if I eventually met and married someone else) and I don't want to jinx it, either. So tomorrow I think that I will finally write about my nearly 3 years of working at Jack's Surfboards.

By the way, like a champ, I eventually did fall asleep. I dreamt about some of the guys I worked with at Jack's, but they were bad guys come to drink all the alcohol at my parent's house and steal their stuff, which wasn't like my daydreams at all!

You Look Wonderful Tonight

The Teacher looked AMAZING. She designed her own dress and it was stunning. Her hair and makeup were flawless as well. She and Croc looked so happy last night and it was very special to get to share that time with them.

The night started out pretty drama filled. S was in charge of picking up the bridesmaids and taking them to the wedding venue. He has a classic car and so do Croc and the Soccer Player so those were to be the wedding cars. I got picked up by LC and Bob Marley. Our car drove and drove for forever following the Tom Tom’s directions. With 20 minutes before the wedding was supposed to start the Tom Tom said we had reached our destination: A dirt road and an old rickety fence. We were lost! We were so far out that none of us had any cell reception. I finally got one bar on my phone and called S and said we’re lost can you help us. He said, “Sorry, my wheel has fallen off my car, I can’t, I gotta go!” I let everyone in our car know and we laughed and felt really bad for S, but it did give us hope that we could maybe still find the venue in time. We came back out of nowhere, it took us nearly an hour, and Bob Marley was driving so fast and the road was pretty windy and I started to feel car sick. Bob Marley and LC were stressed and fighting the whole time back to the real venue. We finally pulled up to the place and saw the Teacher with her Dad and her classic car at the top of the venue’s driveway waiting for the bridesmaids and for S. They finally showed up and the wedding could begin. Croc and the Teacher both had the biggest smiles on their faces as she walked down the aisle towards him. Their vows were fairly simple and really nice. S said he would have similar vows when he got married. I had a big goofy grin on my face the whole time and tears in my eyes because I was so happy for them and was thinking about how great it would be to be the Teacher at that moment.

Poor S, all night long everyone teased him about his car. He felt so bad, not embarrassed by it, but just disappointed that he had let his good friends down. They weren’t mad about it; they were actually really nice about it and didn’t make it seem like it was a big deal. Every speech through the night had to mention the incident. It got a little bit old, but S expected it and knows he’ll be hearing about it for the rest of his life.

I didn’t drink; I’ve just been over drinking for the last 6 months. I was probably a little boring, but oh well. I had a fun night just hanging out with our friends and being bitchy, as always, with the Runner, LC, and Tinkerbell. They had 2 musicians who were playing and people danced about. I’m not a dancer so I told S to ask the Hairdresser, since her husband was in the wedding and she was solo most of the night, or to ask LC or the Runner since their boyfriends don’t really dance, but he wasn’t in the mood to dance either.

The Smooth Talker was in fine form last night. This older waitress had the hots for him and he used it to his full advantage. She came over and called him a handful when he was teasing me and S and throwing potatoes on our plates, but he had her eating out of his hands the whole night. He wanted an extra dessert so he asked her and he was the only guest the whole night who got an extra piece brought out from the kitchen. Lots of the other boys wanted second pieces but they had to suck it up or steal it from someone else’s seat. The waitress hovered over Smooth Talker’s table the whole night and the Runner just laughed about it. At the end of the night Smooth Talker went in to the kitchen of the banquet hall, even though the sign clearly said “No Admittance” to find the waitress. He got her to come out and take a few pics with him and then with him and the Runner. He even asked her for a kiss before he left (just jokingly though) and she laughed and shot him down.

S didn’t realize how drunk he was last night and now he’s totally feeling it! I always get like sympathy queasiness and headaches with him; it totally stinks. We are sitting on the couch watching crappy Sunday daytime TV and contemplating going to get some food because I have nothing in my cupboards or fridge right now.

Anyway, Croc and the Teacher know how to put on a good party and I think everyone had a lot of fun. Congrats to the new Mr. and Mrs. Dundee!