Born in the U.S.A.

What a timely piece of writing. MOTH was just talking to our friends at Lo's birthday party about how flaky Americans are. I used to be and some of my friends back home have been and will always be big flakes. I used to not think it was a big deal, it was just what people did. Well, here they don't and it's super rude to flake out on plans. Our friends raised an eyebrow when we were 45 minutes late to Lo's party, in California that is what we call on time for a party! I've gotten better about being on time to things here because I don't want people to feel like I'm being rude and if I make plans, I never flake on them unless I am sick/injured.

Anyway, Elsja made a comment on Facebook today about how Australians are so much better at getting back to her than Americans are and one of her friends posted this article in response. I hope it makes you laugh as much as it made me, recalling all the times I've flaked.

Are Americans Flaky?
Anonymous European

Ok, listen up Americans. You are far too flaky. Californians, you are at the vanguard of flakiness. Well done. And San Franciscans, you would have won all the gold medals at the Flaky Olympics if you had bothered to show up for the awards ceremony.

This is how we do things over in Europe:

We don't say "let's hang out some time" unless we actually mean it.

If we say "I'll call you tomorrow" we call you tomorrow.

If you leave us a voice mail asking us to call you back, we call you back.

We don't break plans at the last minute, leaving you hanging.

When we say we're excited about your event, thus creating emotional investment on your part in our attendance, we then take the trouble to actually show up.

We remember birthdays.

We attend our friends' events to show that we care about them. We don't treat them like just another entertainment option.

If you're off work sick, we call you to see how you're doing.

We at least aspire to examine our behavior through your eyes. It's called empathy and it's a pretty basic human interaction.

We make friends for life.

If you want us to be your friends (and let's face it, you know you do. You love our accents), you're going to have to try harder. Otherwise we'll all go back to Europe and live in a castle with a crocodile-filled moat in Luxembourg. And when you come to visit we won't lower the drawbridge and will instead taunt you from the ramparts. And nobody likes that.

PS If you're not flaky, please disregard the above. It's aimed at the other 90% of your countrymen. If you merely claim you're not flaky, keep in mind that almost all flakes claim this. So you probably are.

-Anonymous European

From http://www.andrew-woodward.com/Articles/are_americans_flaky.html